Tuesday, May 24, 2016

ODDS & ENDS, THIS & THAT

If you're an illinois resident and you can afford the neighborhood, HAWTHORNE WOODS in lake county appears to be the safest place to live BUT if you go to eight other 'safety' sites, you'll find eight different cities listed as number one in illinois..........so just buy a gun and learn to shoot it.

but if you want to live on the edge and tempt the fates nationwide, then relocate to BALTIMORE, HOUSTON, PITTSBURGH, MEMPHIS or the number one crime city in america, CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.  and they are the same no matter what list you see.
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who is the oldest prison inmate in illinois? that status goes to 94 year old CHESTER STARBROWSKI. probably a long time jailbird, right? uh, no, chester the molester was sent to prison just six years ago for predatory sexual assault and WILL BE RELEASED next june. anyone want to rent him a room?

no, i haven't forgotten the distaff side. HELEN VEDDER, a youthful 83 years of age is serving three years for her third AGGRAVATED DUI conviction but helen will be available to entertain at your christmas party as she's scheduled for release next year on december 15, 2017. wonder if she'll toast the holidays?

FYI....of the 10 oldest female inmates, there are seven murderers, one drug lord, one thief who stole over a hundred grand from a town plus our team leader ms vedder. the men stack up a lot differently with three murderers and seven sexual predators including chester.
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our old buddy BILL COSBY was ordered to stand trial for a sexual assault that happened ten years ago. cosby, who is up to his neck in civil complaints about his past sexual acts, faces ten years if convicted. 

HOWEVER, the plaintiff admits she stayed in touch with him after the alleged assault and even requested tickets to one of his shows and then bought him a gift and that will definitely raise the eyebrows of any jury. cosby had previously settled a civil suit with the woman.
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 the CHICAGO PARKING METER COMPANY paid the city of chicago 1.2 billion dollars in 2008 to lease all of the parking meters in chicago for 75 years. 

the company is realizing about a 30 million profit PER YEAR, which means they'll have paid off the original lease in about 40 years which leaves them thirty-five years of pure profit. for the mathematically challenged, that's a minimum of 1.1 billion dollars profit. with a B. billion.   only in chicago.
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ok, school's out and now it's time to take your family of four to a cubs game at wrigley field so let's see how much money you'll need. 

an average ticket price is $52 a ticket and that starts you off at $208 for starters and forty more dollars to park so you're at $248 and you're not inside the park yet. 

mom & dad each have two beers so that $36 (that's right, nine bucks APIECE for four beers) and the kids each have a coke for five bucks and now we're at $294 and who can go to a ball game without a hot dog?????????? four of those babies at six bucks apiece and we've hit $318. and that's without souvenirs!

man, you better pray they don't play extra innings.
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remember these babies? the original MOTOROLA CELL PHONE which weighed just over two pounds and cost $4,000! you could talk for thirty minutes before the battery died.


Mobile 40th: Motorola DynaTAC 8000X

maybe that was too early for you but admit it, you probably owned a bag phone when they came out in 1990. FYI--the number 1 stolen item three years in a row. that's why we put them in the trunk!


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finally, ladies, this is the last weekend before you make your clothing donation to GOODWILL INDUSTRIES. the clothes didn't fit in april and in all likelihood, they won't fit on MEMORIAL DAY so time to ship 'em off and buy new stuff.
the winter monster has struck again!
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HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!!






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