And so it begins....... again. manager ROBIN VENTURA, who benefited from the WHITE SOX getting off to a red hot start which eliminated him from the decision making process, has once again been exposed as the worst manager in baseball.
SLEEPY ROBIN pissed away another game friday night with his mishandling of the bullpen in the 7th inning. ventura's love affair with fat pig MATT ALBERS better end soon because putting albers on the mound produces the same result as RONALD BELLISARIO a couple of seasons ago. bad.
NATE JONES is one of the best relief pitchers in baseball but sleepy robin doesn't bring him in until AFTER three other pitchers had been brought in and the three run lead was gone. jones? a six pitch strikeout to end the inning.
it's easy to manage in the american league when things are going good but when your team is struggling, you have to preserve every winning opportunity especially against divisional foes and the only way to do that is to understand your bullpen. please fire robin ventura.
QUICK. immediately name the two teams in the STANLEY CUP FINALS. i didn't think so.
file this under 'big surprise.' pothead RICKY WILLIAMS, who smoked away his NFL career is opening a gym in san francisco that will be 'marijuana friendly." no way!
the HOTTEST team in the national league? the PITTSBURGH PIRATES have won nine of eleven games and five in a row to close the gap with the CUBS to just 4 1/2 games. you don't think that...........
and the COLDEST? easy pickings here. the hapless CINCINNATI REDS are currently 6-18 for the month and have lost their last 11 games. how bad is it? read on.
JOEY VOTTO, their perennial all-star is hitting .205 and only .182 during the month of may. and here's the killer.....votto is only in the 4th year of a TWELVE YEAR CONTRACT which pays him 21 million a year. anyone want to trade a handful of prospects for him? this may be a case of the reds waiting one year too long. votto is 32 years old and the reds are losing more trading power every time he takes the field.
gotta run. have a great holiday weekend!
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
ODDS & ENDS, THIS & THAT
If you're an illinois resident and you can afford the neighborhood, HAWTHORNE WOODS in lake county appears to be the safest place to live BUT if you go to eight other 'safety' sites, you'll find eight different cities listed as number one in illinois..........so just buy a gun and learn to shoot it.
but if you want to live on the edge and tempt the fates nationwide, then relocate to BALTIMORE, HOUSTON, PITTSBURGH, MEMPHIS or the number one crime city in america, CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY. and they are the same no matter what list you see.
***************************************************
who is the oldest prison inmate in illinois? that status goes to 94 year old CHESTER STARBROWSKI. probably a long time jailbird, right? uh, no, chester the molester was sent to prison just six years ago for predatory sexual assault and WILL BE RELEASED next june. anyone want to rent him a room?
no, i haven't forgotten the distaff side. HELEN VEDDER, a youthful 83 years of age is serving three years for her third AGGRAVATED DUI conviction but helen will be available to entertain at your christmas party as she's scheduled for release next year on december 15, 2017. wonder if she'll toast the holidays?
FYI....of the 10 oldest female inmates, there are seven murderers, one drug lord, one thief who stole over a hundred grand from a town plus our team leader ms vedder. the men stack up a lot differently with three murderers and seven sexual predators including chester.
********************************************************
our old buddy BILL COSBY was ordered to stand trial for a sexual assault that happened ten years ago. cosby, who is up to his neck in civil complaints about his past sexual acts, faces ten years if convicted.
HOWEVER, the plaintiff admits she stayed in touch with him after the alleged assault and even requested tickets to one of his shows and then bought him a gift and that will definitely raise the eyebrows of any jury. cosby had previously settled a civil suit with the woman.
*************************************************
the CHICAGO PARKING METER COMPANY paid the city of chicago 1.2 billion dollars in 2008 to lease all of the parking meters in chicago for 75 years.
the company is realizing about a 30 million profit PER YEAR, which means they'll have paid off the original lease in about 40 years which leaves them thirty-five years of pure profit. for the mathematically challenged, that's a minimum of 1.1 billion dollars profit. with a B. billion. only in chicago.
**************************************************
ok, school's out and now it's time to take your family of four to a cubs game at wrigley field so let's see how much money you'll need.
an average ticket price is $52 a ticket and that starts you off at $208 for starters and forty more dollars to park so you're at $248 and you're not inside the park yet.
mom & dad each have two beers so that $36 (that's right, nine bucks APIECE for four beers) and the kids each have a coke for five bucks and now we're at $294 and who can go to a ball game without a hot dog?????????? four of those babies at six bucks apiece and we've hit $318. and that's without souvenirs!
man, you better pray they don't play extra innings.
*********************************************
remember these babies? the original MOTOROLA CELL PHONE which weighed just over two pounds and cost $4,000! you could talk for thirty minutes before the battery died.
maybe that was too early for you but admit it, you probably owned a bag phone when they came out in 1990. FYI--the number 1 stolen item three years in a row. that's why we put them in the trunk!
**********************************************
finally, ladies, this is the last weekend before you make your clothing donation to GOODWILL INDUSTRIES. the clothes didn't fit in april and in all likelihood, they won't fit on MEMORIAL DAY so time to ship 'em off and buy new stuff.
the winter monster has struck again!
************************************************
but if you want to live on the edge and tempt the fates nationwide, then relocate to BALTIMORE, HOUSTON, PITTSBURGH, MEMPHIS or the number one crime city in america, CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY. and they are the same no matter what list you see.
***************************************************
who is the oldest prison inmate in illinois? that status goes to 94 year old CHESTER STARBROWSKI. probably a long time jailbird, right? uh, no, chester the molester was sent to prison just six years ago for predatory sexual assault and WILL BE RELEASED next june. anyone want to rent him a room?
no, i haven't forgotten the distaff side. HELEN VEDDER, a youthful 83 years of age is serving three years for her third AGGRAVATED DUI conviction but helen will be available to entertain at your christmas party as she's scheduled for release next year on december 15, 2017. wonder if she'll toast the holidays?
FYI....of the 10 oldest female inmates, there are seven murderers, one drug lord, one thief who stole over a hundred grand from a town plus our team leader ms vedder. the men stack up a lot differently with three murderers and seven sexual predators including chester.
********************************************************
our old buddy BILL COSBY was ordered to stand trial for a sexual assault that happened ten years ago. cosby, who is up to his neck in civil complaints about his past sexual acts, faces ten years if convicted.
HOWEVER, the plaintiff admits she stayed in touch with him after the alleged assault and even requested tickets to one of his shows and then bought him a gift and that will definitely raise the eyebrows of any jury. cosby had previously settled a civil suit with the woman.
*************************************************
the CHICAGO PARKING METER COMPANY paid the city of chicago 1.2 billion dollars in 2008 to lease all of the parking meters in chicago for 75 years.
the company is realizing about a 30 million profit PER YEAR, which means they'll have paid off the original lease in about 40 years which leaves them thirty-five years of pure profit. for the mathematically challenged, that's a minimum of 1.1 billion dollars profit. with a B. billion. only in chicago.
**************************************************
ok, school's out and now it's time to take your family of four to a cubs game at wrigley field so let's see how much money you'll need.
an average ticket price is $52 a ticket and that starts you off at $208 for starters and forty more dollars to park so you're at $248 and you're not inside the park yet.
mom & dad each have two beers so that $36 (that's right, nine bucks APIECE for four beers) and the kids each have a coke for five bucks and now we're at $294 and who can go to a ball game without a hot dog?????????? four of those babies at six bucks apiece and we've hit $318. and that's without souvenirs!
man, you better pray they don't play extra innings.
*********************************************
remember these babies? the original MOTOROLA CELL PHONE which weighed just over two pounds and cost $4,000! you could talk for thirty minutes before the battery died.
maybe that was too early for you but admit it, you probably owned a bag phone when they came out in 1990. FYI--the number 1 stolen item three years in a row. that's why we put them in the trunk!
**********************************************
finally, ladies, this is the last weekend before you make your clothing donation to GOODWILL INDUSTRIES. the clothes didn't fit in april and in all likelihood, they won't fit on MEMORIAL DAY so time to ship 'em off and buy new stuff.
the winter monster has struck again!
************************************************
HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!!
Monday, May 9, 2016
ONE MORE THING
A POINT OF COMPARISON FOR THE CUBS.
in 1984, a 10-6 CHICAGO BEARS team beat the redskins 23-19 in the first round of the playoffs before they got their asses handed to them by the 49ers 23-0.
in 1985, the bears went 15-1 before shutting out both the giants and the rams in the playoffs before dominating the patriots in the super bowl 46-10.
*********************************************
in 2015, the CUBS beat the PIRATES in the wild card game and then the CARDINALS 3 games to 1 before getting their asses handed to them when the METS swept them out of the playoffs in four straight.
in 2016, the cubs......................................?
KEEP SMILING CUB FANS.
A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN
Every season the national league tries to protect the CUBS by providing them with a soft april schedule and business wise, it makes perfect sense because if the cubs can be close to .500, then the fans AND advertisers stay interested so i was less than enthusiastic when the north siders rolled over sub-.500 opposition in april.
HOWEVER, the cubs convinced me they're for real with their performance over the last week, winning seven consecutive games against playoff bound teams and most of the games weren't even close. my earlier concern was their depth but every bench player stepped up and contributed against the PIRATES & NATIONALS.
The most valuable commodity for a team is movable parts and the cubs certainly have that. when you add offensive firepower and decent defense to that mix, stir in some pretty good pitching including the second best pitcher in chicago, i dare say that the cubs will be playing deep into october.
**************************************************
the WHITE SOX are just honored being allowed to play in the same city as the cubs. gag
*************************************************
outlaw the shift? i think not but why don't the batters learn to punch the ball the opposite way especially when they're the leadoff hitter in any inning? those runners score 34% of the time which ain't bad.
************************************************
you want to outlaw something? eliminate the DH.
give a three year notice to the teams so they have time to retool and get back to real baseball. no chance.
********************************************************
pig in a poke? ZACH GRIENKE got like a gazillion dollars from the DIAMONDBACKS and his e.r.a. is over 5. yikes.
***************************************************************
ADAM LaROCHE was last seen rescuing three-legged pit bulls from breeders in VIETNAM. just kidding. or am i?
**************************************************
gotta run. have a great week!
HOWEVER, the cubs convinced me they're for real with their performance over the last week, winning seven consecutive games against playoff bound teams and most of the games weren't even close. my earlier concern was their depth but every bench player stepped up and contributed against the PIRATES & NATIONALS.
The most valuable commodity for a team is movable parts and the cubs certainly have that. when you add offensive firepower and decent defense to that mix, stir in some pretty good pitching including the second best pitcher in chicago, i dare say that the cubs will be playing deep into october.
**************************************************
the WHITE SOX are just honored being allowed to play in the same city as the cubs. gag
*************************************************
outlaw the shift? i think not but why don't the batters learn to punch the ball the opposite way especially when they're the leadoff hitter in any inning? those runners score 34% of the time which ain't bad.
************************************************
you want to outlaw something? eliminate the DH.
give a three year notice to the teams so they have time to retool and get back to real baseball. no chance.
********************************************************
pig in a poke? ZACH GRIENKE got like a gazillion dollars from the DIAMONDBACKS and his e.r.a. is over 5. yikes.
***************************************************************
ADAM LaROCHE was last seen rescuing three-legged pit bulls from breeders in VIETNAM. just kidding. or am i?
**************************************************
gotta run. have a great week!
Sunday, May 8, 2016
JUST MORE STUFF
Ok, now that we've established that it's DONALD vs HILLARY, (assuming that BERNIE has run out of communists to vote for him) i'm going to set the odds for the general election at 8-5 in favor of hillary and set a line of +4.5 % points that hillary will beat the donald by when all of the popular vote is counted.
i will also predict that TED CRUZ will join the WWE and win the intercontinental championship within a year. did you see that forearm shiver AND flying elbow that he gave to his wife just after he conceded the race? MACHO MAN was smiling down on him.
one good thing is that we're spared four years of looking at this.
now here's a television tip for the future. the first debate between THE BULLY and the ANTI-CHRIST will be absolutely must-see tv. while not as good as her husband, former president BILL CLINTON, the anti-christ does a decent job of debating while the bully's method is to attack and ridicule with a very loud mouth which worked perfectly when there were eight people on the stage and the 'debates' all turned into free for alls.
but these debates will be hombre contra mujer and the moderators will be world class who won't allow donald to escape with empty bluster without answering the question so when donald says that 'MEXICO will pay for the wall', he better have an answer other than "well, you'll see after i'm elected."
and hillary should invest in a flak jacket because donald will be all over the ARKANSAS WHITEWATER DEAL, her performance with BENGHAZI in which four AMERICANS died because of her inaction, LOOTING THE WHITE HOUSE when they moved out and of course, her most recent problem with confidential emails.
and these are just a few of her indisgressions but you better believe donald will find all of them.
let's get ready to rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmble!
i will also predict that TED CRUZ will join the WWE and win the intercontinental championship within a year. did you see that forearm shiver AND flying elbow that he gave to his wife just after he conceded the race? MACHO MAN was smiling down on him.
one good thing is that we're spared four years of looking at this.
but these debates will be hombre contra mujer and the moderators will be world class who won't allow donald to escape with empty bluster without answering the question so when donald says that 'MEXICO will pay for the wall', he better have an answer other than "well, you'll see after i'm elected."
and hillary should invest in a flak jacket because donald will be all over the ARKANSAS WHITEWATER DEAL, her performance with BENGHAZI in which four AMERICANS died because of her inaction, LOOTING THE WHITE HOUSE when they moved out and of course, her most recent problem with confidential emails.
and these are just a few of her indisgressions but you better believe donald will find all of them.
let's get ready to rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmble!
in the jungle, the mighty jungle...........
The new chicago police superintendent, EDDIE JOHNSON, apparently lived under a rock the last thirty years before his recent promotion. johnson has asked residents of the jungle to co-operate with officers and help investigations. WHAT IS HE SMOKING??
the people in high crime districts are animals who HATE the police and live by the credo that "snitches get stitches" and "survival of the fittest" and there is NO WAY they help the cops for any reason, no matter what color the top cop is.
"i didn't see nuttin" "i ain't sayin s___ to you" and "we take care of our own" are the three most frequent refrains to investigators after a serious crime and johnson is not going to change that.
when one animal is killed, then the offended pack heads out to even the score, whether the new victim be man, woman or child. and then they all march in a 'peace' parade, get on the local news and blame the police for not stopping the carnage.
and the beat goes on...................................
*******************************************************
and from the 'exactly HOW OLD ARE YOU?' (ehoau) department: april nineteenth was the 20th anniversary of the oklahoma city bombings. culprit timothy mcveigh was put to death by lethal injection in 2001.
*********************************************************
more EHOAU......how about the classic movie 'FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH with SEAN PENN as stoner jeff spicolli?' well, that was 34 years ago this year.
********************************************************
i see where moose hunter SARAH PALIN is telling everyone that speaker of the house PAUL RYAN'S career is over because he's not backing donald. this coming from a woman whose 15 minutes was up a long, long time ago. go away.
*****************************************************
time to guard your daughters: O J SIMPSON is eligible for parole NEXT YEAR and he's been a model prisoner since receiving a 33 year sentence in 2008. it should be noted that simpson has already been granted parole on several of the lesser charges.
on a personal note, oj was acquitted of the murder charge in 1995 but thirteen years later, he was found guilty of armed robbery. both decisions were rendered on the same date which happens to be my birthday, OCTOBER 3rd.
buddies with oj? i think not.
*****************************************************
i've never watched the entire TEN COMMANDMENTS movie or the WIZARD OF OZ.
**************************************************
remember all those baseball cards we collected? well, if you have the 1952 TOPPS MICKEY MANTLE card in prime condition, it just sold saturday night for $312,000! not a bad return for a nickel investment. too long ago for you?
ok, then try the 1999 SP DEREK JETER card in
gem mint condition because it sold at the same auction
for twenty grand. just sayin'.
*******************************************************
how much did you pay for your first car? mine was a hundred bucks. a classy faded green 1956 ford. drove it 7 months until the a-frame fell out of it at a stop sign. then i got a 1958 oldsmobile. movin' on up.
*****************************************************
does TED CRUZ look a little like EDDIE MUNSTER?
*******************************************************
when you buy a case of pop, why isn't the bar code on the same side as the hand cutout? you set in on the moving belt at the JEWEL and the lady has to flip the box to find the bar code. dumb.
******************************************************
i hate camping.
*****************************************************
i'm still confused over the transgender bathroom situation.
*****************************************************
i just found out most women under 40 don't wear pantyhose anymore. what do they wear, sox?
***************************************************
my recipe for prime rib is the best. no discussion needed.
***************************************************
ok, i'm done for now. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
the people in high crime districts are animals who HATE the police and live by the credo that "snitches get stitches" and "survival of the fittest" and there is NO WAY they help the cops for any reason, no matter what color the top cop is.
"i didn't see nuttin" "i ain't sayin s___ to you" and "we take care of our own" are the three most frequent refrains to investigators after a serious crime and johnson is not going to change that.
when one animal is killed, then the offended pack heads out to even the score, whether the new victim be man, woman or child. and then they all march in a 'peace' parade, get on the local news and blame the police for not stopping the carnage.
and the beat goes on...................................
*******************************************************
and from the 'exactly HOW OLD ARE YOU?' (ehoau) department: april nineteenth was the 20th anniversary of the oklahoma city bombings. culprit timothy mcveigh was put to death by lethal injection in 2001.
*********************************************************
more EHOAU......how about the classic movie 'FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH with SEAN PENN as stoner jeff spicolli?' well, that was 34 years ago this year.
********************************************************
i see where moose hunter SARAH PALIN is telling everyone that speaker of the house PAUL RYAN'S career is over because he's not backing donald. this coming from a woman whose 15 minutes was up a long, long time ago. go away.
*****************************************************
time to guard your daughters: O J SIMPSON is eligible for parole NEXT YEAR and he's been a model prisoner since receiving a 33 year sentence in 2008. it should be noted that simpson has already been granted parole on several of the lesser charges.
on a personal note, oj was acquitted of the murder charge in 1995 but thirteen years later, he was found guilty of armed robbery. both decisions were rendered on the same date which happens to be my birthday, OCTOBER 3rd.
buddies with oj? i think not.
*****************************************************
i've never watched the entire TEN COMMANDMENTS movie or the WIZARD OF OZ.
**************************************************
remember all those baseball cards we collected? well, if you have the 1952 TOPPS MICKEY MANTLE card in prime condition, it just sold saturday night for $312,000! not a bad return for a nickel investment. too long ago for you?
ok, then try the 1999 SP DEREK JETER card in
gem mint condition because it sold at the same auction
for twenty grand. just sayin'.
*******************************************************
how much did you pay for your first car? mine was a hundred bucks. a classy faded green 1956 ford. drove it 7 months until the a-frame fell out of it at a stop sign. then i got a 1958 oldsmobile. movin' on up.
*****************************************************
does TED CRUZ look a little like EDDIE MUNSTER?
*******************************************************
when you buy a case of pop, why isn't the bar code on the same side as the hand cutout? you set in on the moving belt at the JEWEL and the lady has to flip the box to find the bar code. dumb.
******************************************************
i hate camping.
*****************************************************
i'm still confused over the transgender bathroom situation.
*****************************************************
i just found out most women under 40 don't wear pantyhose anymore. what do they wear, sox?
***************************************************
my recipe for prime rib is the best. no discussion needed.
***************************************************
ok, i'm done for now. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
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