WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! that was the repititive sound of people losing their jobs coming from halas hall on monday as the mccaskey family decided that they had enough of being the laughing stock of the NFL and terminated gm phil emery, head coach marc tressman and offensive coordinator/part-time snitch aaron kromer.
i was amazed that they ate the last three years of emery's contract as well as tressman's but good for them. when the oldest franchise in the league is worth a billion dollars (that's with a B) they shouldn't haggle over a few million dollars when it comes to restoring the image.
first step in rebuilding was hiring ERNIE ACCORSI as a senior advisor who will assist the mccaskeys in hiring their new gm. the presence of accorsi, who has spent his life in the nfl and was the gm for three different teams, will keep ted phillips and other bean counters away from football decisions.
the reaction of long time bears fans was overwhelmingly positive although most were hoping for jay cutler to get traded to complete the trifecta. nobody i spoke with feels that cutler can do the job and has rightfully earned his reputation as a coach killer.
so where to now? they may not be able to hire a gm until after the playoffs which would make it february at the earliest but hiring one as quickly as possible can only help and hopefully, the bears will follow proper protocol and hire the gm first and then the gm hires the coach and the coach hires his assistants which eliminates finger pointing and makes every hire accountable, as it should be.
my wish is for the bears to pay the piper and hire people who have done it before at the highest level. we don't need a head coach or a gm who neeeds training wheels but rather people who have been riding the bicycle SUCCESSFULLY for a while now. keep your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
BLACK MONDAY LOOMS
As we prepare to say good-bye to MARC TRESSMAN & his assistants, one has to wonder....who's next? fans are screaming for a trifecta of head chopping but i'm afraid we're stuck with GM PHIL EMERY and JAY CUTLER for a while longer. the bears don't mind paying tressman the final year of his contract for doing nothing but cutler and emery both have multiple years left on their deals so you'll have to be satisfied with a body count of one. WHO'S NEXT?
REX RYAN?........... still young at 52 but a 45-50 record with the jets and no playoff appearances since 2010 makes one pause. maybe too bombastic for the maccaskey family.
JIM HARBAUGH?........51 years of age but his ship is sailing towards michigan and it will take about eight million dollars to make it change course.
DAVE TOUB?............ also 52, he was the bears special teams coach and highly successful during his tenure in chicago. passed over last time when lovie was fired so he left for kansas city where he still runs special teams. never a head coach.
MIKE SHANAHAN?.........62 and a local boy with two super bowl rings in his pocket from his days in denver but bellied up in washington with a 24-40 record. is 62 too old to be a head coach when it involves a total overhaul of the program?
DERRELL BEVELL....only 44 but coaches the lethal seattle offense and was a quarterback in college. never a head coach.
TODD BOWLES?.......51 and recently signed a three year extension as defensive coordinator with the arizona cardinals but all assistant's contracts have escape clause for a head coaching job. however, bowles appears to be very content working for bruce arians, who, as we all know, was passed over for marc tressman.
feel free to enter your own choice because i'm confused. the best candidates seem to be defensive coaches but don't you need an offensive guy for cutler?
or do you trade cutler after you hire the defensive guy? and there are teams who would love cutler as their quarterback, namely the jets, rams, titans and maybe even the browns. i'd be very happy with a couple of draft choices and let's start over.
the CHICAGO BULLS are starting to fire on all cylinders as they continue to get healthy and run down all the teams that were ahead of them in the east. three weeks ago they were the seventh seed in the eastern conference but after winning 10 of 12 and currently six in a row, they're now fourth and just two games from the top seed.
in their division, they lead cleveland by three and have double digit leads on two others after only two months of play. STAY HEALTHY and we're going to have some fun in may & june.
the BLACKHAWKS are also running wild and are mirroring the success of the bulls. seventh in the conference standings at the start of the month, they're now second and only two points behind anaheim for the top seed in the west............and home ice advantage throughout the playoffs. the hawks have shrugged off lenghty injuries to PATRICK SHARP and the drunken COREY CRAWFORD with incredible depth and a great goaltending situation.
in their division, which is the toughest in hockey, they finally passed the teams that were red hot coming out of the gate and now the cream continues to rise to the top. again, STAY HEALTHY and we'll have some fun in may & june.
the cubs banged the drum when they signed a manager and a pitcher but the WHITE SOX brought the full symphony orchestra with their signings. baseball in chicago might be interesting enough to where people actually watch a game or two in april & may. maybe.
finally, will notre dame embarrass themselves again in a bowl game? we'll all find out on tuesday afternoon when they take on LSU in the music city bowl.
REX RYAN?........... still young at 52 but a 45-50 record with the jets and no playoff appearances since 2010 makes one pause. maybe too bombastic for the maccaskey family.
JIM HARBAUGH?........51 years of age but his ship is sailing towards michigan and it will take about eight million dollars to make it change course.
DAVE TOUB?............ also 52, he was the bears special teams coach and highly successful during his tenure in chicago. passed over last time when lovie was fired so he left for kansas city where he still runs special teams. never a head coach.
MIKE SHANAHAN?.........62 and a local boy with two super bowl rings in his pocket from his days in denver but bellied up in washington with a 24-40 record. is 62 too old to be a head coach when it involves a total overhaul of the program?
DERRELL BEVELL....only 44 but coaches the lethal seattle offense and was a quarterback in college. never a head coach.
TODD BOWLES?.......51 and recently signed a three year extension as defensive coordinator with the arizona cardinals but all assistant's contracts have escape clause for a head coaching job. however, bowles appears to be very content working for bruce arians, who, as we all know, was passed over for marc tressman.
feel free to enter your own choice because i'm confused. the best candidates seem to be defensive coaches but don't you need an offensive guy for cutler?
or do you trade cutler after you hire the defensive guy? and there are teams who would love cutler as their quarterback, namely the jets, rams, titans and maybe even the browns. i'd be very happy with a couple of draft choices and let's start over.
the CHICAGO BULLS are starting to fire on all cylinders as they continue to get healthy and run down all the teams that were ahead of them in the east. three weeks ago they were the seventh seed in the eastern conference but after winning 10 of 12 and currently six in a row, they're now fourth and just two games from the top seed.
in their division, they lead cleveland by three and have double digit leads on two others after only two months of play. STAY HEALTHY and we're going to have some fun in may & june.
the BLACKHAWKS are also running wild and are mirroring the success of the bulls. seventh in the conference standings at the start of the month, they're now second and only two points behind anaheim for the top seed in the west............and home ice advantage throughout the playoffs. the hawks have shrugged off lenghty injuries to PATRICK SHARP and the drunken COREY CRAWFORD with incredible depth and a great goaltending situation.
in their division, which is the toughest in hockey, they finally passed the teams that were red hot coming out of the gate and now the cream continues to rise to the top. again, STAY HEALTHY and we'll have some fun in may & june.
the cubs banged the drum when they signed a manager and a pitcher but the WHITE SOX brought the full symphony orchestra with their signings. baseball in chicago might be interesting enough to where people actually watch a game or two in april & may. maybe.
finally, will notre dame embarrass themselves again in a bowl game? we'll all find out on tuesday afternoon when they take on LSU in the music city bowl.
THAT'S IT FOR NOW. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Monday, December 15, 2014
IF I WERE KING......
Throughout the year, i constantly say "if i were king....." and then add what i would do in a certain situation. so here's some of the ones i jotted down, in no particular order. enjoy.
IF I WERE KING.......the 'cool' people who insist on taking photos with their cell phones at a concert or a play AFTER everyone has been warned? security would rip it out of their hands, smash it on the floor with the heel of their boot and then immediately eject the violating party from the theatre.
there would be a sacred list of a dozen or so christmas carol classics like 'silent night' or 'silver bells' and no one would be allowed to prostitute the originals with a jazzed up version of the song. i almost gagged when MICHAEL MACDONALD jazzed up the second half of 'white christmas' at a recent 'evening with' at the genesee. and while you're at it, also leave the star spangled banner alone.
sex crimes against children would result in chemical castration for the guilty party.
some chicago sports team would have to win a championship once every three or four years.
people who wait to get to the register before they start LOOKING for their money would be required to go to the back of the line just for being stupid.
IF I WERE KING, it would snow two inches the night of december 23rd which would give the plow guys time to clear the roads for holiday travel and still be home with their families for the holiday. not to mention we'd all have a white christmas. there would be no snow for new year's eve.
banks would start giving out full sized wall calendars like they did for years. every month a new photo of the corresponding season and room to write appointments on the individual days. i have zero need for a 2"x 4" magnetic
calendar that i can't read anyhow.
people who smoke would NOT be able to sue the tobacco companies when they get sick. they know the dangers when they start. that's like an alcoholic suing seagrams when he gets cirrhosis of the liver. no surprise. deal with it. it was your choice.
there would be an EIGHT TEAM college football playoff. four is just not enough.
semi-trailer trucks would not be allowed on the expressway or tollways between 7-9 in the morning and 4-6 in the afternoon.
there would be no more thursday night football in the NFL.
gift cards would not be allowed as christmas presents. can you get any lazier than that? and while we're at it, only half of your christmas presents could be bought on-line. the other half? get off your dead butt and go to a store and actually see a potential gift before buying it.
athletes who use ANY illegal drugs would be banned for life. first time. no warnings. no second chances. they know exactly what they're doing when they use them.
people under 18 and over 65 would receive free medical services. no deductibles. free. including medicine.
christians would all have some type of lighted christmas decoration on their house or in the yard.
stores would be closed on holidays. all of them.
that's just some of them but i'm tired of typing.
IF I WERE KING.......the 'cool' people who insist on taking photos with their cell phones at a concert or a play AFTER everyone has been warned? security would rip it out of their hands, smash it on the floor with the heel of their boot and then immediately eject the violating party from the theatre.
there would be a sacred list of a dozen or so christmas carol classics like 'silent night' or 'silver bells' and no one would be allowed to prostitute the originals with a jazzed up version of the song. i almost gagged when MICHAEL MACDONALD jazzed up the second half of 'white christmas' at a recent 'evening with' at the genesee. and while you're at it, also leave the star spangled banner alone.
sex crimes against children would result in chemical castration for the guilty party.
some chicago sports team would have to win a championship once every three or four years.
people who wait to get to the register before they start LOOKING for their money would be required to go to the back of the line just for being stupid.
IF I WERE KING, it would snow two inches the night of december 23rd which would give the plow guys time to clear the roads for holiday travel and still be home with their families for the holiday. not to mention we'd all have a white christmas. there would be no snow for new year's eve.
banks would start giving out full sized wall calendars like they did for years. every month a new photo of the corresponding season and room to write appointments on the individual days. i have zero need for a 2"x 4" magnetic
calendar that i can't read anyhow.
people who smoke would NOT be able to sue the tobacco companies when they get sick. they know the dangers when they start. that's like an alcoholic suing seagrams when he gets cirrhosis of the liver. no surprise. deal with it. it was your choice.
there would be an EIGHT TEAM college football playoff. four is just not enough.
semi-trailer trucks would not be allowed on the expressway or tollways between 7-9 in the morning and 4-6 in the afternoon.
there would be no more thursday night football in the NFL.
gift cards would not be allowed as christmas presents. can you get any lazier than that? and while we're at it, only half of your christmas presents could be bought on-line. the other half? get off your dead butt and go to a store and actually see a potential gift before buying it.
athletes who use ANY illegal drugs would be banned for life. first time. no warnings. no second chances. they know exactly what they're doing when they use them.
people under 18 and over 65 would receive free medical services. no deductibles. free. including medicine.
christians would all have some type of lighted christmas decoration on their house or in the yard.
stores would be closed on holidays. all of them.
that's just some of them but i'm tired of typing.
HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!
Friday, December 12, 2014
Don't read this if you're overly sensitive to differing opinions.
***************************************************************
One of the most difficult cases to investigate as a police officer is sexual assault, a crime which constitutes a total violation of the victim and leaves long lasting pyschological scars and a total change in how the victim looks at the world.
it's not a crime of passion or lust but rather a crime of anger & disrespect for the woman.
which leads me to this........how in the hell is BILL COSBY still walking the streets? TWENTY SIX allegations of rape have popped up over the last month but there's one huge problem with all of the accusers. they've all waited TWENTY FIVE YEARS or more to point the finger of guilt at cosby and he won't even address the allegations, stating thru his lawyer that "we won't dignify these allegations with a response."
and why would they?? the statute of limitations has long since expired which poses the question: why did ALL of the victims not report it in a timely manner? any delay in reporting a sexual assault with "immediate outcry" seriously hurts the prosecution of the predator..........and yes, they will strike again & again if no one reports them.
#############################################
and now the other side of the coin: is this a case of dominos where everyone jumps on board with their own allegation after the first complaint goes public, looking to cash in on the cosby fortune? i understand some victims just wanting to forget about it but all FIFTEEN? that absolutely defies the law of averages in reporting a rape by about 60%.
if you're dealing with three decades of time, all you have to do is coordinate the alleged attack with an old ticket stub or newspaper article that has cosby appearing in a particular city and then you're ready to cry rape as loud as you can......and cash in with the others. then the next question: what percentage of sexual assalt reports are false?
most rape statistics will put the false reports at just 2% and based on experience, i can tell you one thing for certain: the 2% do more damage to the true victims and affect prosecutions for years to come. prosecutors, defense attorneys, judges, police officers and other officers of the court have long memories when they waste a lot of their resources investigating a bogus claim and the next time a real victim walks thru the door, they're greeted with a raised eyebrow.........and by the way, the liars who affect so many lives are rarely prosecuted for filing a false police report.
###########################################
so which is it? did cosby drug & sexually assault all of those women? probably not.
are there some false allegations against him? almost definitely.
did he drug and sexually assault some of them? maybe.
but prove it after 25 years. ZERO physical evidence and cosby ain't talking.
can the victims get any satisfaction after waiting so long to go public with their complaints? MAYBE cosby might be forced to retire a little earlier than he had planned BUT he's 77 years old and richer than fort knox and i guarantee you that he will have more than his share of supporters.
lessons learned for everyone, i hope.
***************************************************************
One of the most difficult cases to investigate as a police officer is sexual assault, a crime which constitutes a total violation of the victim and leaves long lasting pyschological scars and a total change in how the victim looks at the world.
it's not a crime of passion or lust but rather a crime of anger & disrespect for the woman.
which leads me to this........how in the hell is BILL COSBY still walking the streets? TWENTY SIX allegations of rape have popped up over the last month but there's one huge problem with all of the accusers. they've all waited TWENTY FIVE YEARS or more to point the finger of guilt at cosby and he won't even address the allegations, stating thru his lawyer that "we won't dignify these allegations with a response."
and why would they?? the statute of limitations has long since expired which poses the question: why did ALL of the victims not report it in a timely manner? any delay in reporting a sexual assault with "immediate outcry" seriously hurts the prosecution of the predator..........and yes, they will strike again & again if no one reports them.
#############################################
and now the other side of the coin: is this a case of dominos where everyone jumps on board with their own allegation after the first complaint goes public, looking to cash in on the cosby fortune? i understand some victims just wanting to forget about it but all FIFTEEN? that absolutely defies the law of averages in reporting a rape by about 60%.
if you're dealing with three decades of time, all you have to do is coordinate the alleged attack with an old ticket stub or newspaper article that has cosby appearing in a particular city and then you're ready to cry rape as loud as you can......and cash in with the others. then the next question: what percentage of sexual assalt reports are false?
most rape statistics will put the false reports at just 2% and based on experience, i can tell you one thing for certain: the 2% do more damage to the true victims and affect prosecutions for years to come. prosecutors, defense attorneys, judges, police officers and other officers of the court have long memories when they waste a lot of their resources investigating a bogus claim and the next time a real victim walks thru the door, they're greeted with a raised eyebrow.........and by the way, the liars who affect so many lives are rarely prosecuted for filing a false police report.
###########################################
so which is it? did cosby drug & sexually assault all of those women? probably not.
are there some false allegations against him? almost definitely.
did he drug and sexually assault some of them? maybe.
but prove it after 25 years. ZERO physical evidence and cosby ain't talking.
can the victims get any satisfaction after waiting so long to go public with their complaints? MAYBE cosby might be forced to retire a little earlier than he had planned BUT he's 77 years old and richer than fort knox and i guarantee you that he will have more than his share of supporters.
lessons learned for everyone, i hope.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
HOLIDAY FEEL GOOD STORIES
As we start the holidays, sometimes we're reminded of just how nice humans can be to one another and that the world is totally rotten. three quick stories that happened this thanksgiving season. enjoy.
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Lady in iowa is outside the local walmart on a frigid day holding a sign that says "will work 4 food 4 my kids." local farmer stops and finds out the lady has five children and her husband is hospitalized after being hit by a drunk driver and suffering from numerous broken bones. farmer gets her name & address plus the names of the kids who age from 3-14 and promises to be in touch. two days before thanksgiving, farmer arrives in a pick-up truck with the back full of frozen beef & pork plus assorted food including turkey & all the trimmings for the holiday. oh yeah...and a freezer to hold the meat.
farmer then invites the entire family to his house for saturday night dinner followed by xmas decorating and lighting of his family tree. family arrives at 5 p.m. and leaves at 10. upon arrival back at their house, it appears that santa has delivered & decorated an eight foot tree and left SIXTY wrapped presents under the tree, all with 'do not open til christmas' stickers on them. when the woman called the farmer and asked what work she could do for him, he responded, "you'll have to ask santa. as far as i'm concerned, just keep smiling and enjoy the holiday."
finally, when she went to visit her husband on sunday at the hospital, HIS ROOM had been totally decorated along with a half dozen presents, also with "do not open" stickers that looked mysteriously familiar. her husband told his wife "i went down for my one hour rehab session and when i got back to the room an hour later, all this was here." the farmer denies any involvement. happy holidays.
************************************************************************************
A dog shelter in oklahoma sat on three donated acres but the 50 cage building was seriously overcrowded and more than 40 dogs were facing euthanasia on the monday following thanksgiving weekend. a hand painted sign outside the shelter read "don't let our puppies die...please help" drew the attention of two high schoolers who had both previously adopted dogs and they entered the shelter to find out what was happening and ended up volunteering. the boys were told the sad story. "we've run on donations for a long time and one guy even poured a concrete slab so we could expand but the economy dried up the donations and we couldn't build the new building so these 40 dogs will pay the ultimate price on that monday."
the three full time volunteers were all from the same family but one always had to stay for the holidays and they could never get together at one time to celebrate with their elderly mother who lived eighty miles away. after two weeks of excellent volunteer work, the two guys let the owners know that they had no school that week and offered to handle the entire thanksgiving week so the regulars could all have time with their mother. the family members jumped at the chance and all left sunday night for mom's house. both boys immediately put their plan in motion, one they had been concocting since they volunteered.
When the staff returned a week later, they were handed the keys to a brand new heated pole barn with a hundred new cages and $19,000.00 in cash donations to help feed the canines and a stack of OVER ONE HUNDRED APPLICATIONS FOR ADOPTION!! (the shelter wanted everyone to know that all applicants are given a thorough background check before being allowed to adopt)
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
on monday morning, 14 seniors from the football team who had been recruited by the two boys showed up to construct a new pole barn on the previously poured concrete slab under the direction of the man who donated the materials for the barn. most of the boys lived on ranches or farms and had all done this type of work before so the project moved along rapidly. once the pole barn was in place, adult volunteers then installed electricity, running water and heat and it was all done by saturday.
turns out one of the boys had a father who worked at the local newspaper in tulsa which agreed to give them one full page to advertise the plight of the shelter. a full page color ad with photos of every dog appeared in the 'black friday' edition of the paper (which came out wednesday) which explained the pending doom and readers were asked to either consider adoption or make a cash donation to the local bank. happy thanksgiving to the puppies!
**********************************************************************************
finally, an elderly woman was the caretaker of the local church in a small town outside of detroit. she lived frugally in an eight hundred square foot ranch and her house needed major repairs but she wouldn't 'take charity' because others needed it more. each thanksgiving morning, annie would leave her house at 6 a.m. and spend the day at morning church services and then serving food to the homeless before returning home exhausted later that night and this thanksgiving was no different.
the next morning, she was taking the garbage out when her neighbor commented on how nice her new roof & siding looked and the woman didn't know what she was talking about until she turned around and saw that her house had been transformed overnight into a thing of beauty. she was speechless and couldn't figure out what had happened.
turns out the local men's club all knew annie from various functions and decided to surprise her when they knew she'd be gone so 45 volunteers arrived at daybreak on thanksgiving and nine hours later, annie had a nice warm house that looked brand new. the volunteers had given up their holiday to help one person. anytime annie asks about the rehab, '"obody knows nuttin." the true spirit of the holidays.
*************************************************************************************
Lady in iowa is outside the local walmart on a frigid day holding a sign that says "will work 4 food 4 my kids." local farmer stops and finds out the lady has five children and her husband is hospitalized after being hit by a drunk driver and suffering from numerous broken bones. farmer gets her name & address plus the names of the kids who age from 3-14 and promises to be in touch. two days before thanksgiving, farmer arrives in a pick-up truck with the back full of frozen beef & pork plus assorted food including turkey & all the trimmings for the holiday. oh yeah...and a freezer to hold the meat.
farmer then invites the entire family to his house for saturday night dinner followed by xmas decorating and lighting of his family tree. family arrives at 5 p.m. and leaves at 10. upon arrival back at their house, it appears that santa has delivered & decorated an eight foot tree and left SIXTY wrapped presents under the tree, all with 'do not open til christmas' stickers on them. when the woman called the farmer and asked what work she could do for him, he responded, "you'll have to ask santa. as far as i'm concerned, just keep smiling and enjoy the holiday."
finally, when she went to visit her husband on sunday at the hospital, HIS ROOM had been totally decorated along with a half dozen presents, also with "do not open" stickers that looked mysteriously familiar. her husband told his wife "i went down for my one hour rehab session and when i got back to the room an hour later, all this was here." the farmer denies any involvement. happy holidays.
************************************************************************************
A dog shelter in oklahoma sat on three donated acres but the 50 cage building was seriously overcrowded and more than 40 dogs were facing euthanasia on the monday following thanksgiving weekend. a hand painted sign outside the shelter read "don't let our puppies die...please help" drew the attention of two high schoolers who had both previously adopted dogs and they entered the shelter to find out what was happening and ended up volunteering. the boys were told the sad story. "we've run on donations for a long time and one guy even poured a concrete slab so we could expand but the economy dried up the donations and we couldn't build the new building so these 40 dogs will pay the ultimate price on that monday."
the three full time volunteers were all from the same family but one always had to stay for the holidays and they could never get together at one time to celebrate with their elderly mother who lived eighty miles away. after two weeks of excellent volunteer work, the two guys let the owners know that they had no school that week and offered to handle the entire thanksgiving week so the regulars could all have time with their mother. the family members jumped at the chance and all left sunday night for mom's house. both boys immediately put their plan in motion, one they had been concocting since they volunteered.
When the staff returned a week later, they were handed the keys to a brand new heated pole barn with a hundred new cages and $19,000.00 in cash donations to help feed the canines and a stack of OVER ONE HUNDRED APPLICATIONS FOR ADOPTION!! (the shelter wanted everyone to know that all applicants are given a thorough background check before being allowed to adopt)
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
on monday morning, 14 seniors from the football team who had been recruited by the two boys showed up to construct a new pole barn on the previously poured concrete slab under the direction of the man who donated the materials for the barn. most of the boys lived on ranches or farms and had all done this type of work before so the project moved along rapidly. once the pole barn was in place, adult volunteers then installed electricity, running water and heat and it was all done by saturday.
turns out one of the boys had a father who worked at the local newspaper in tulsa which agreed to give them one full page to advertise the plight of the shelter. a full page color ad with photos of every dog appeared in the 'black friday' edition of the paper (which came out wednesday) which explained the pending doom and readers were asked to either consider adoption or make a cash donation to the local bank. happy thanksgiving to the puppies!
**********************************************************************************
finally, an elderly woman was the caretaker of the local church in a small town outside of detroit. she lived frugally in an eight hundred square foot ranch and her house needed major repairs but she wouldn't 'take charity' because others needed it more. each thanksgiving morning, annie would leave her house at 6 a.m. and spend the day at morning church services and then serving food to the homeless before returning home exhausted later that night and this thanksgiving was no different.
the next morning, she was taking the garbage out when her neighbor commented on how nice her new roof & siding looked and the woman didn't know what she was talking about until she turned around and saw that her house had been transformed overnight into a thing of beauty. she was speechless and couldn't figure out what had happened.
turns out the local men's club all knew annie from various functions and decided to surprise her when they knew she'd be gone so 45 volunteers arrived at daybreak on thanksgiving and nine hours later, annie had a nice warm house that looked brand new. the volunteers had given up their holiday to help one person. anytime annie asks about the rehab, '"obody knows nuttin." the true spirit of the holidays.
Friday, December 5, 2014
wow. the CHICAGO BEARS are in the worst shape i've ever seen. they've had worse teams but none with the amount of personnel bile associated with this bunch. you talk about going teams through the motions and picking up a paycheck? this bears team is at the head of that class.
Attendance is becoming very interesting at soldier field. six thousand no-shows at the past two home games in a town where tickets are normally treated like gold bullion but no, it only hurts the owners in the area of concessions & parking because every year all of the games are sold out during the summer and there's STILL a ten year waiting list for season tickets. the ticket money, approximately ten MILLION per game, puts eighty million dollars into mccaskey pockets even if they never sell a bag of popcorn. eighty freaking million dollars........GUARANTEED.
ok, i'll bite at the question sent to me by one of the blog followers. WHAT WOULD I DO? my list is simple & swift. A) the entire front office is gone. emery, ted phillips and anyone else associated with FOOTBALL operations get a pink slip. B) coach tressman and all of his assistants are out of town by the end of the year. C) you remove the bile from the locker room by eating the money for the mediocre jay cutler plus that loud mouthed, obnoxious, injury prone, underachieving BRANDON MARSHALL. bye. gone.
D) finally, you hire an EXPERIENCED GENERAL MANAGER. not somebody's assistant. EXPERIENCED. and let him hire the rest of the football staff. then shut your mouth and let the man do his job so HE'S ACCOUNTABLE for his decisions and there's no finger pointing when if things go bad. clear out the trash and REBUILD. yes, the 'R' word. takes a couple of years to right the ship but it's sinking right now anyway.
would the owners eat the money? probably not. will tressman be back? probably. will anyone be fired other than MEL TUCKER? probably not. will the bears suck again next year with cutler guiding them? absolutely. sheeeeeeeeesh.
Happier stuff. the BULLS & BLACKHAWKS are on fire! we should have a lot of fun thru the winter and late spring with both teams if they stay healthy. and if the hawks can keep COREY CRAWFORD sober.
the bulls still have to rely on MR. SOFTEE to get to the finals so they could be an issue when the playoffs start and you play 28 games in two months. exactly what game does mr. softee sit out? game 1 of a series? any game where the bulls have a series lead? we'll see.
trade MR SOFTEE for a lottery pick in the draft? where do i sign up? plenty of healthy players in college who have the right attitude and don't need a shrink to play the game.
AND THE CUBS HAVE BIG SIGNING NEWS! oh, what's that? nothing yet you say? JOHN LESTER is talking with who???? don't the dodgers have more money than God??? uh-oh. WAIT, WHAT'S THAT???
CARLOS MARMOL is a free agent?? what are the cubs waiting for?????
just to make you feel old......WALTER PAYTON died 15 years ago, the 'SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE' was released 29 years ago and the cubs haven't won a championship for 106 years but if you were around for that last one, you are REALLY old!
enjoy the weekend.
Attendance is becoming very interesting at soldier field. six thousand no-shows at the past two home games in a town where tickets are normally treated like gold bullion but no, it only hurts the owners in the area of concessions & parking because every year all of the games are sold out during the summer and there's STILL a ten year waiting list for season tickets. the ticket money, approximately ten MILLION per game, puts eighty million dollars into mccaskey pockets even if they never sell a bag of popcorn. eighty freaking million dollars........GUARANTEED.
ok, i'll bite at the question sent to me by one of the blog followers. WHAT WOULD I DO? my list is simple & swift. A) the entire front office is gone. emery, ted phillips and anyone else associated with FOOTBALL operations get a pink slip. B) coach tressman and all of his assistants are out of town by the end of the year. C) you remove the bile from the locker room by eating the money for the mediocre jay cutler plus that loud mouthed, obnoxious, injury prone, underachieving BRANDON MARSHALL. bye. gone.
D) finally, you hire an EXPERIENCED GENERAL MANAGER. not somebody's assistant. EXPERIENCED. and let him hire the rest of the football staff. then shut your mouth and let the man do his job so HE'S ACCOUNTABLE for his decisions and there's no finger pointing when if things go bad. clear out the trash and REBUILD. yes, the 'R' word. takes a couple of years to right the ship but it's sinking right now anyway.
would the owners eat the money? probably not. will tressman be back? probably. will anyone be fired other than MEL TUCKER? probably not. will the bears suck again next year with cutler guiding them? absolutely. sheeeeeeeeesh.
Happier stuff. the BULLS & BLACKHAWKS are on fire! we should have a lot of fun thru the winter and late spring with both teams if they stay healthy. and if the hawks can keep COREY CRAWFORD sober.
the bulls still have to rely on MR. SOFTEE to get to the finals so they could be an issue when the playoffs start and you play 28 games in two months. exactly what game does mr. softee sit out? game 1 of a series? any game where the bulls have a series lead? we'll see.
trade MR SOFTEE for a lottery pick in the draft? where do i sign up? plenty of healthy players in college who have the right attitude and don't need a shrink to play the game.
AND THE CUBS HAVE BIG SIGNING NEWS! oh, what's that? nothing yet you say? JOHN LESTER is talking with who???? don't the dodgers have more money than God??? uh-oh. WAIT, WHAT'S THAT???
CARLOS MARMOL is a free agent?? what are the cubs waiting for?????
just to make you feel old......WALTER PAYTON died 15 years ago, the 'SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE' was released 29 years ago and the cubs haven't won a championship for 106 years but if you were around for that last one, you are REALLY old!
enjoy the weekend.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
just sports
Is there any possible reason to discuss notre dame football anymore? i think not. even the boot licking sychophants that permeate the chicago area have put their gear away and want to talk about anything but football. "i've been an irish fan since i was a little kid but it's hard to root for a team that quits," said 52 year old irish fan Emmett when i asked him about nd this morning following a 49-14 embarassment to an average USC team, 49-14.
Purple faced coach brian kelly then confused the media and everyone else with this post game statement, ''It's a red-letter day for our football players and coaches alike." How is ANOTHER ass whipping a red letter day for your program???? he's an idiot.
MISSISSIPPI STATE's dream season came to a screeching halt at the hands of their arch rival OLE MISS, 31-17, and cost the bulldogs a spot in the inaugural football final four. mississippi coach HUGH FREEZE repeatedly dipped into his bag of tricks to try and offset the loss of his two top receivers and four offensive linemen. "we had a tough month and figured we had nothing to lose." with the upset, the rebels head to the old GATOR BOWL (now sponsored by taxslayer) and the bulldogs get the ORANGE BOWL.
The SHARK heading to the WHITE SOX? right handed pitcher JEFF SAMARDZIJA, who saved his career by asking out of the north side and being traded to oakland is rumored to be interested in the south side but the sticking point is he only has a year left on his contract and the sox would like to lock him up rather than rent a player. he would be a good counter piece to CHRIS SALE and with change-up artist JOHN DANKS in the middle of those two fireballers, it would make an interesting rotation. we'll see.
For those of you who wrote off BLACKHAWKS newcomer BRAD RICHARDS, look again. after settling in to chicago following 14 years with the rangers, richards has regained his scoring touch and scored twice last night against the stanley cup champion L.A. KINGS as the hawks won their third in a row and completed a 5-1 western road trip. the center now has 6 goals with 10 assists and a very healthy +7 while he's on the ice.
The CHICAGO BULLS, when healthy, look unstoppable in the eastern conference but they have to be totally healthy both physically and emotionally to compete on a regular basis. MR. SOFTEE decided to join the fray the other night and had a solid 25 minutes as the bulls had their starting lineup for only the fourth time all year (p.s.--they're 4-0). now we'll see if it's time for derrick to take another vacation. remember, he "could care less what anyone thinks" when he takes a day or five off.
did you really think the BEARS had a chance on thanksgiving? admit it...in the first quarter you were thinking about it.........and then a reality named CALVIN JOHSON set in and the 34-17 was appropriate for those two teams. they have a shot at beating dallas, new orleans and minnesota but no shot at beating the lions so it's looking like 7-9 or 8-8. yawwwwwwwwwwn. good enough to look respectable in the standings but TOO GOOD to get a great draft choice. wonderful.
enough for now. stay safe.
Purple faced coach brian kelly then confused the media and everyone else with this post game statement, ''It's a red-letter day for our football players and coaches alike." How is ANOTHER ass whipping a red letter day for your program???? he's an idiot.
MISSISSIPPI STATE's dream season came to a screeching halt at the hands of their arch rival OLE MISS, 31-17, and cost the bulldogs a spot in the inaugural football final four. mississippi coach HUGH FREEZE repeatedly dipped into his bag of tricks to try and offset the loss of his two top receivers and four offensive linemen. "we had a tough month and figured we had nothing to lose." with the upset, the rebels head to the old GATOR BOWL (now sponsored by taxslayer) and the bulldogs get the ORANGE BOWL.
The SHARK heading to the WHITE SOX? right handed pitcher JEFF SAMARDZIJA, who saved his career by asking out of the north side and being traded to oakland is rumored to be interested in the south side but the sticking point is he only has a year left on his contract and the sox would like to lock him up rather than rent a player. he would be a good counter piece to CHRIS SALE and with change-up artist JOHN DANKS in the middle of those two fireballers, it would make an interesting rotation. we'll see.
For those of you who wrote off BLACKHAWKS newcomer BRAD RICHARDS, look again. after settling in to chicago following 14 years with the rangers, richards has regained his scoring touch and scored twice last night against the stanley cup champion L.A. KINGS as the hawks won their third in a row and completed a 5-1 western road trip. the center now has 6 goals with 10 assists and a very healthy +7 while he's on the ice.
The CHICAGO BULLS, when healthy, look unstoppable in the eastern conference but they have to be totally healthy both physically and emotionally to compete on a regular basis. MR. SOFTEE decided to join the fray the other night and had a solid 25 minutes as the bulls had their starting lineup for only the fourth time all year (p.s.--they're 4-0). now we'll see if it's time for derrick to take another vacation. remember, he "could care less what anyone thinks" when he takes a day or five off.
did you really think the BEARS had a chance on thanksgiving? admit it...in the first quarter you were thinking about it.........and then a reality named CALVIN JOHSON set in and the 34-17 was appropriate for those two teams. they have a shot at beating dallas, new orleans and minnesota but no shot at beating the lions so it's looking like 7-9 or 8-8. yawwwwwwwwwwn. good enough to look respectable in the standings but TOO GOOD to get a great draft choice. wonderful.
enough for now. stay safe.
Friday, November 21, 2014
SPORTS OF ALL SORTS
FINALLY! my christmas present came early as the CHICAGO WHITE SOX FINALLY dumped that overweight piece of crap bullpen arsonist disguised as a closer. DONALD BELISARIO was the worst relief pitcher since BILLY KOCH for the south siders and i can't wait to see which team makes the mistake of signing him for 2015. this release completes the perfect purge which included ADAM DUNN, GORDON BECKHAM and that aforementioned piece of garbage.
hey, the new odds are out for SUPER BOWL and no, the BEARS are not at the top of the list but the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS are at 4-1 with the packers right behind at 9-2. our boys are 150-1 which seems harsh but that's an improvement over an earlier line of 300-1.
are you ready for the LOVIE BOWL on sunday? the lakefront weather will be 45 degrees with steady rain throughout the game so it will be fun to watch the teams tear up the brand new turf at soldier field, just like old time football. how important is this game for the bears? a loss to the 2-8 buccaneers will open up the windows at the local unemployment office for an entire coaching staff. book it.
back to the white sox, they plugged one of their numerous bullpen holes by signing left handed set up man ZACH DUKE to a three year deal. duke is coming off a career year with the MILWAUKEE BREWERS and that's the red flag with this signing because duke was with four teams in four years and released by three of them, including the worst team in baseball, the HOUSTON ASTROS. if duke is like 2014, it's a great signing but if he's like the last four years............
north side signings? sorry, nothing to report. paging JOHN LESTER.........?
derrick "MR. SOFTEE" rose? no, nothing to report here either. he sat out two more games with sore muscles. TWO GAMES, not just one. seven out of twelve. maybe he'll play tonight but he'll have to check with his brother first because remember, "i can't play unless i'm a hundred per cent."
and he "could care less" what you think.
anyone else getting tired of BRANDON MARSHALL?
one person benefitting from rose acting like a sissy boy is free agent to be JIMMY BUTLER, who has taken over the offensive reins and keeps ringing up the cash register for next spring's negotiations. he turned down a three year offer of 24 million from the bulls in october and will now be looking at a 50% increase if he stays healthy.
HEY! THE CUBS JUST SIGNED A PITCHER!!!! is it john lester????????? sorry, it's C.J. EDWARDS, a 23 year old whose sore shoulder limited him to 10 games this past season. well, you have to start somewhere.
BEARS 34
TAMPA 21
if i don't talk to you, have a SAFE & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
hey, the new odds are out for SUPER BOWL and no, the BEARS are not at the top of the list but the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS are at 4-1 with the packers right behind at 9-2. our boys are 150-1 which seems harsh but that's an improvement over an earlier line of 300-1.
are you ready for the LOVIE BOWL on sunday? the lakefront weather will be 45 degrees with steady rain throughout the game so it will be fun to watch the teams tear up the brand new turf at soldier field, just like old time football. how important is this game for the bears? a loss to the 2-8 buccaneers will open up the windows at the local unemployment office for an entire coaching staff. book it.
back to the white sox, they plugged one of their numerous bullpen holes by signing left handed set up man ZACH DUKE to a three year deal. duke is coming off a career year with the MILWAUKEE BREWERS and that's the red flag with this signing because duke was with four teams in four years and released by three of them, including the worst team in baseball, the HOUSTON ASTROS. if duke is like 2014, it's a great signing but if he's like the last four years............
north side signings? sorry, nothing to report. paging JOHN LESTER.........?
derrick "MR. SOFTEE" rose? no, nothing to report here either. he sat out two more games with sore muscles. TWO GAMES, not just one. seven out of twelve. maybe he'll play tonight but he'll have to check with his brother first because remember, "i can't play unless i'm a hundred per cent."
and he "could care less" what you think.
anyone else getting tired of BRANDON MARSHALL?
one person benefitting from rose acting like a sissy boy is free agent to be JIMMY BUTLER, who has taken over the offensive reins and keeps ringing up the cash register for next spring's negotiations. he turned down a three year offer of 24 million from the bulls in october and will now be looking at a 50% increase if he stays healthy.
HEY! THE CUBS JUST SIGNED A PITCHER!!!! is it john lester????????? sorry, it's C.J. EDWARDS, a 23 year old whose sore shoulder limited him to 10 games this past season. well, you have to start somewhere.
BEARS 34
TAMPA 21
if i don't talk to you, have a SAFE & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
ALL SORTS OF STUFF
congratulations to ARCHBISHOP BLASE CUPICH who was installed today as archbishop of chicago, replacing the vile and bitter cardinal francis george, who welcomed everyone into his church.....unless they were gay. cupich appears to be far more opened minded to that situation and hopefully george's medival rantings will become a distant memory very soon.
what the hell was PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA thinking when he walked into a state dinner in china chewing gum?? it made him look like a hillbilly and embarrassed diplomats everywhere.
the EBOLA threat is not going away. over 5,000 people dead from the epidemic and another 14, 000 ill with the virus. it's become very clear that unless you act when you first notice the symptoms, you are doomed to die a horrible death. the most recent victim, 44 yr. old DR. MARTIN SALIA, waited 13 days to report his symptoms and by then he was a goner. get help when you first notice a problem.
the governor of missouri has declared a state of emergency in anticipation of riots when the grand jury releases it's finding in the shooting of ghetto thug michael brown back in august. as an old police officer told me once "the perfect solution to rioting is freezing temperatures and water hoses. it sends everyone home quickly." sounds right to me.
for the record: people have the right to dissent PEACEFULLY but they don't have the right to riot, destroy property and endanger lives. that's when they turn from protestors to criminals and they should be treated as such, swiftly & harshly.
i did not receive an invitation to charles manson's wedding. the 81 year old mass murderer is marrying some 26 year old whack job. some things just shouldn't be allowed.
how about the lady in texas whose appealing her divorce settlement?!? attorney SUE ANN HAMM got three houses and a lump sum of 340,000,000 MILLION dollars PLUS 7 million a month for the next six years. not good enough. her attorney says they only got 7% of oil man HAROLD HAMM'S holdings but they want 25-30%. "we're not being greedy but fair is fair. we want a minimum of FOUR BILLION DOLLARS which is why we appealed." i'm not sure how i feel about this one.
just for perspective, when i got divorced we fought over custody of the dog and our cassette collection. that's right....cassettes.
looking for a job? UNITED AIRLINES announced that 2,500 flight attendants have accepted their $100,000 buyout offers and the retirement exodus begins november 30th so check it out.
bye for now.
what the hell was PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA thinking when he walked into a state dinner in china chewing gum?? it made him look like a hillbilly and embarrassed diplomats everywhere.
the EBOLA threat is not going away. over 5,000 people dead from the epidemic and another 14, 000 ill with the virus. it's become very clear that unless you act when you first notice the symptoms, you are doomed to die a horrible death. the most recent victim, 44 yr. old DR. MARTIN SALIA, waited 13 days to report his symptoms and by then he was a goner. get help when you first notice a problem.
the governor of missouri has declared a state of emergency in anticipation of riots when the grand jury releases it's finding in the shooting of ghetto thug michael brown back in august. as an old police officer told me once "the perfect solution to rioting is freezing temperatures and water hoses. it sends everyone home quickly." sounds right to me.
for the record: people have the right to dissent PEACEFULLY but they don't have the right to riot, destroy property and endanger lives. that's when they turn from protestors to criminals and they should be treated as such, swiftly & harshly.
i did not receive an invitation to charles manson's wedding. the 81 year old mass murderer is marrying some 26 year old whack job. some things just shouldn't be allowed.
how about the lady in texas whose appealing her divorce settlement?!? attorney SUE ANN HAMM got three houses and a lump sum of 340,000,000 MILLION dollars PLUS 7 million a month for the next six years. not good enough. her attorney says they only got 7% of oil man HAROLD HAMM'S holdings but they want 25-30%. "we're not being greedy but fair is fair. we want a minimum of FOUR BILLION DOLLARS which is why we appealed." i'm not sure how i feel about this one.
just for perspective, when i got divorced we fought over custody of the dog and our cassette collection. that's right....cassettes.
looking for a job? UNITED AIRLINES announced that 2,500 flight attendants have accepted their $100,000 buyout offers and the retirement exodus begins november 30th so check it out.
bye for now.
EVERYTHING SPORTS
What the hell is wrong with RUSSELL MARTIN??? didn't he understand that all he had to do was sign the cubs contract and immediately get in line for his world series ring?? didn't he understand that the offer came from one of the most storied franchise in baseball who have become destiny's child over the last several months and EVERYONE would kill to play for them? well, i guess not everyone.
the cubs are going to learn very quickly that the days of people lining up for a chance to play in wrigley are long gone. as the very religious ANDY PETTITE once said, "it's a wonderful city and a great place to play a weekend series but the park has nothing to offer long term."
players like amenities like spacious locker rooms, state of the art batting cage facilities featuring instant video analysis, ample parking for their oversized vehicles, shower rooms that hold more than six people at a time and plumbing that actually works ALL the time and the cubs have none of this. but they do have rats behind the outfield walls who come out to play on a regular basis. i guess that's something. so now it's on to JON LESTER.
the BEARS calmed some of their fans down with a win over a really bad minnesota team and they actually have a chance to win this week's LOVIE BOWL against tampa bay but then it's on to detroit for a thanksgiving morning tilt and i dare say the two week euphoria will come to a sudden halt in motown.
how sweet was that NORTHWESTERN WILDCATS win IN south bend? how arrogant is irish coach brian kelly? going for two points when a simple p.a.t. puts the game out of reach? that purple faced jerkwad is being villified by the south bend media and there are definite rumblings over his future. i think his seat got real hot over the weekend. and remember, the irish are not afraid to launch coaches even with years left on their contracts.
here's proof there's just too many bowl games: if northwester can beat purdue & illinois in their final two games, they become bowl eligible and will get a spot in one of the 39 bowl games.
many of you know JIM KRISTOF from the local bowling alley. his son jimmy plays offensive tackle (#79) for the WESTERN MICHIGAN BRONCOS and if they continue their winning ways, it looks like they'll be playing in the first BAHAMAS BOWL in nassau on christmas eve. the team was godawful his first two years but their new coach has finally righted the ship. good for jimmy! p.s. jimmy's team has a showdown for the division crown at home the day after thanksgiving against NORTHERN ILLINOIS. and yes, it'll be on television. bye for now
the cubs are going to learn very quickly that the days of people lining up for a chance to play in wrigley are long gone. as the very religious ANDY PETTITE once said, "it's a wonderful city and a great place to play a weekend series but the park has nothing to offer long term."
players like amenities like spacious locker rooms, state of the art batting cage facilities featuring instant video analysis, ample parking for their oversized vehicles, shower rooms that hold more than six people at a time and plumbing that actually works ALL the time and the cubs have none of this. but they do have rats behind the outfield walls who come out to play on a regular basis. i guess that's something. so now it's on to JON LESTER.
the BEARS calmed some of their fans down with a win over a really bad minnesota team and they actually have a chance to win this week's LOVIE BOWL against tampa bay but then it's on to detroit for a thanksgiving morning tilt and i dare say the two week euphoria will come to a sudden halt in motown.
how sweet was that NORTHWESTERN WILDCATS win IN south bend? how arrogant is irish coach brian kelly? going for two points when a simple p.a.t. puts the game out of reach? that purple faced jerkwad is being villified by the south bend media and there are definite rumblings over his future. i think his seat got real hot over the weekend. and remember, the irish are not afraid to launch coaches even with years left on their contracts.
here's proof there's just too many bowl games: if northwester can beat purdue & illinois in their final two games, they become bowl eligible and will get a spot in one of the 39 bowl games.
many of you know JIM KRISTOF from the local bowling alley. his son jimmy plays offensive tackle (#79) for the WESTERN MICHIGAN BRONCOS and if they continue their winning ways, it looks like they'll be playing in the first BAHAMAS BOWL in nassau on christmas eve. the team was godawful his first two years but their new coach has finally righted the ship. good for jimmy! p.s. jimmy's team has a showdown for the division crown at home the day after thanksgiving against NORTHERN ILLINOIS. and yes, it'll be on television. bye for now
Monday, November 10, 2014
requiem
well, i've had bears tickets for 30 years and rooted for them since i was a kid. i've sat thru rain, sleet, howling winds and nasty snow squalls and all sorts of bad teams but the one thing i could always count on was the bears beating the crap out of their opponents on the defensive side of the ball.
a sporting fact: you might beat us on the scoreboard but for many years, gamblers would bet against our opponents the week after because of the beating they received from the bears the week before. but no more.
on defense, when you combine a lack of talent with a lack of passion and then have jay "i've never won anything" cutler trying to direct your team offensively, it's a recipe for disaster. there are so many broken parts on this team that it will take at least three years to make them respectable again and i guarantee you it will be without cutler or head coach marc trestman. absolutely pathetic. an embarrassment to chicago sports.
on a brighter note, all of you know how much i loathe notre dame and i can't tell you how much fun i had saturday afternoon watching arizona state beat their irish asses all over the field and drop notre dame out of any post-season tournament conversation for good. it was almost orgasmic watching coach brian kelly's face turning purple during the first quarter when the irish replicated their debacle against alabama two years ago and peed their pants during an important game. overrated for decades, they are now truly insignificant as a top tier team and the tournament 'committee' realizes that nd plays a weak schedule and anytime they play a top shelf team, they melt like a cheap candle. good riddance to bad rubbish.
a coaching note: i just heard on the radio that trestman said they "practiced with high energy" this week. so??????? my six month old niece in florida poops with great energy.
apparently, there's not going to be a baseball season next year because everyone on the north side and all of the chicago media have already awarded the world series to the cubs.
but just for fun, i'll take all wagers against the cubs winning the series in 2015 OR 2016. line up and open your wallets. wide. because spending cub fan's money is the best.
the bulls are doing what they have to do in the early season and that's beating some very bad teams on their november schedule. an early injuriy to jimmy butler along with joaquim noah's sore surgical knees threatened to derail this team early but both of them have sucked it up and contributed minutes to the cause. taj gibson rolled his ankle and went to the locker room, returning 20 minutes later to finish the game. on the other hand, derrick rose sprained his ankle and has missed 3 complete games. the rumor grows that he is soft. very soft.
times have really changed. i once sat behind the bulls bench and watched jerry sloan relocate his dislocated index finger on his shooting hand BY HIMSELF during a time out and then 1/2 hour later, sink the winning shot to beat milwaukee. if derrick dislocated a finger, he would call 9-1-1.....check that, he would probably have someone dial for him. very, very soft.
a final bears note: i just heard on the radio that a local car dealership is giving away tickets for next sunday's game. no kidding. who would pay for them? adios
a sporting fact: you might beat us on the scoreboard but for many years, gamblers would bet against our opponents the week after because of the beating they received from the bears the week before. but no more.
on defense, when you combine a lack of talent with a lack of passion and then have jay "i've never won anything" cutler trying to direct your team offensively, it's a recipe for disaster. there are so many broken parts on this team that it will take at least three years to make them respectable again and i guarantee you it will be without cutler or head coach marc trestman. absolutely pathetic. an embarrassment to chicago sports.
on a brighter note, all of you know how much i loathe notre dame and i can't tell you how much fun i had saturday afternoon watching arizona state beat their irish asses all over the field and drop notre dame out of any post-season tournament conversation for good. it was almost orgasmic watching coach brian kelly's face turning purple during the first quarter when the irish replicated their debacle against alabama two years ago and peed their pants during an important game. overrated for decades, they are now truly insignificant as a top tier team and the tournament 'committee' realizes that nd plays a weak schedule and anytime they play a top shelf team, they melt like a cheap candle. good riddance to bad rubbish.
a coaching note: i just heard on the radio that trestman said they "practiced with high energy" this week. so??????? my six month old niece in florida poops with great energy.
apparently, there's not going to be a baseball season next year because everyone on the north side and all of the chicago media have already awarded the world series to the cubs.
but just for fun, i'll take all wagers against the cubs winning the series in 2015 OR 2016. line up and open your wallets. wide. because spending cub fan's money is the best.
the bulls are doing what they have to do in the early season and that's beating some very bad teams on their november schedule. an early injuriy to jimmy butler along with joaquim noah's sore surgical knees threatened to derail this team early but both of them have sucked it up and contributed minutes to the cause. taj gibson rolled his ankle and went to the locker room, returning 20 minutes later to finish the game. on the other hand, derrick rose sprained his ankle and has missed 3 complete games. the rumor grows that he is soft. very soft.
times have really changed. i once sat behind the bulls bench and watched jerry sloan relocate his dislocated index finger on his shooting hand BY HIMSELF during a time out and then 1/2 hour later, sink the winning shot to beat milwaukee. if derrick dislocated a finger, he would call 9-1-1.....check that, he would probably have someone dial for him. very, very soft.
a final bears note: i just heard on the radio that a local car dealership is giving away tickets for next sunday's game. no kidding. who would pay for them? adios
Thursday, November 6, 2014
BITS & PIECES
And so now it's the republicans turn to see if they can rescue illinois from the long standing financial hole. most people i spoke with said that they voted for BRUCE RAUNER not because they liked him but rather because they felt PAT QUINN had failed and i would have to agree. i also think that rauner ran a great media campaign and certainly knows how to make money in the private sector but let's see how he handles butting heads with MIKE MADIGAN.
the initial plans for the GEORGE LUCAS' STAR WAR MUSEUM on the lakefront were revealed this week to mixed emotions. haters plan to file suit, arguing that using 17 acres of lakefront property violates the LAKEFRONT PROTECTION ACT and the 1973 LAKEFRONT PLAN which prohibits further development east of lakeshore drive. personally, i hate it because i'll lose my parking space on the WALDRON DECK for bears' games.
mother of the year award? a leading contender is 20 year old BETHANY McKEE who participated in a double homicide in joliet while her 15 month old daughter was in the same house and her dad was sleeping downstairs. another argument for the death penalty but mckee only got life in prison............ but now what happens to that poor baby? mckee, of course, was unmarried and not working. surprise!
but mckee will be edged out for the award by 34 year old JILLIAN McCABE of oregon, who threw her six year old autistic son to his death almost 300 feet off the yaquina bay bridge where his body was found a mile downstream. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THE DEATH PENALTY?
MIRANDA LAMBERT is a ray of sunshine in a business that frequently has it's stars go belly up with drugs & alcohol. lambert became the most decorated performer of all time at the COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS this week and never looked better after shedding 25 pounds over the past year. gotta like a woman who shoots her own deer for dinner. true story.
a judge in missouri overturned the archaic law which prohibits same-sex marriages. as usual, the judge ruled that the old law violates due process and equal protection rights. FYI---32 states now allow same sex marriages while 18 others still live in the dark ages but their turn is coming because you can't win the battle at the supreme court level. as NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE said when he gave up the fight against gay marriages, "the end results are inevitable and we can spend our dollars more productively than fighting this in court."
the CHICAGO TRIBUNE bought a bunch of newspaper companies this week. does that mean that the normally democratic leaning SUN-TIMES will now start leaning to the right because of pressure from the ivory tower? just curious.
i just ate cooked kale for the first time and it was pretty good. what is this world coming to? ADIOS FOR NOW
the initial plans for the GEORGE LUCAS' STAR WAR MUSEUM on the lakefront were revealed this week to mixed emotions. haters plan to file suit, arguing that using 17 acres of lakefront property violates the LAKEFRONT PROTECTION ACT and the 1973 LAKEFRONT PLAN which prohibits further development east of lakeshore drive. personally, i hate it because i'll lose my parking space on the WALDRON DECK for bears' games.
mother of the year award? a leading contender is 20 year old BETHANY McKEE who participated in a double homicide in joliet while her 15 month old daughter was in the same house and her dad was sleeping downstairs. another argument for the death penalty but mckee only got life in prison............ but now what happens to that poor baby? mckee, of course, was unmarried and not working. surprise!
but mckee will be edged out for the award by 34 year old JILLIAN McCABE of oregon, who threw her six year old autistic son to his death almost 300 feet off the yaquina bay bridge where his body was found a mile downstream. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THE DEATH PENALTY?
MIRANDA LAMBERT is a ray of sunshine in a business that frequently has it's stars go belly up with drugs & alcohol. lambert became the most decorated performer of all time at the COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS this week and never looked better after shedding 25 pounds over the past year. gotta like a woman who shoots her own deer for dinner. true story.
a judge in missouri overturned the archaic law which prohibits same-sex marriages. as usual, the judge ruled that the old law violates due process and equal protection rights. FYI---32 states now allow same sex marriages while 18 others still live in the dark ages but their turn is coming because you can't win the battle at the supreme court level. as NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE said when he gave up the fight against gay marriages, "the end results are inevitable and we can spend our dollars more productively than fighting this in court."
the CHICAGO TRIBUNE bought a bunch of newspaper companies this week. does that mean that the normally democratic leaning SUN-TIMES will now start leaning to the right because of pressure from the ivory tower? just curious.
i just ate cooked kale for the first time and it was pretty good. what is this world coming to? ADIOS FOR NOW
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
CHAMPS
In my lifetime, i've seen a lot of great performances but none better than MADISON BUMGARNER of the world champion SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS, who clinched their third championship in just five years. bumgarner pitched 50 innings in the post season and allowed less than a half run a game over a three week period while winning three games in the series. an absolutely stunning performance by the 25 year old lefty in game 7 brought the crown home as he pitched 5 shutout innings on only two days rest. incredible.
so CONGRATULATIONS to both him and the giants.
and congratulations also go out to the CHICAGO CUBS for hiring JOE MADDON and finally realizing that it DOES MATTER who runs the ball club. JOE MADDON has had a very successful run with the TAMPA BAY RAYS, including a trip to the world series. (pssst, cub fans: that's what you play in when you win the pennant).
the front office finally grasped that SEVEN MANAGERS IN 14 YEARS, including such luminaries as DON BAYLOR, BRUCE KIM, the brain dead DUSTY BAKER, MIKE QUADE, DALE SVEUM and the senile LOU PINIELLA wasn't a good formula for winning. and now maddon gets the opportunity to right the ship that has sunk like the TITANIC most every summer for 106 years. good luck.
well, the CHICAGO BEARS accomplished something last sunday that no other team has ever been able to do. their performance was so bad in the first half that i shut the tv off and went out to rake leaves. ME! they have no passion, no pride and oh yes, very little talent on that football team. a quarterback whose face you want to punch two or three times a game, a defensive coordinator who needs a bus ticket TODAY and a head coach who has no clue on how to handle a locker room. and if i hear "well, i have to look at the tape before i comment" one more time, i do believe i'm jumping off the roof. i even took their flag down and kicked it across the deck and down the stairs to the basement. they blow.
THE CHICAGO BULLS started on a good note tonight by whuppin' the KNICKS by 25 points in the garden in new york. the key to the season is what happened tonight. limit the minutes of the starters and let the second unit contribute on a regular basis. and keep your fingers crossed on the injuries.
THE BLACKHAWKS are having problems putting the biscuit in the basket but a recent injury to COREY CRAWFORD may have resulted in the hawks finding a legit backup for the crow. lemont, illinois native SCOTT DARLING was called up from the minors to be the 'backup to the backup' but ended up with consecutive starts, winning 2-1 vs OTTAWA and losing 1-0 to the ANAHEIM DUCKS. at 6'06" & 230 pounds, he fills the net like hall of famer KEN DRYDEN did back in the 70's for the MONTREAL CANADIENS.
darling is only 25 but check out the teams he's drawn a paycheck from over the last seven years: north iowa outlaws, louisiana ice gators, mississippi river kings, florida everglades, wichita thunder, wheeling nailers, hamilton bulldogs, milwaukee admirals and the cincinnati cyclones. think darling has taken a few bus rides?
i got nuttin' else. adios
so CONGRATULATIONS to both him and the giants.
and congratulations also go out to the CHICAGO CUBS for hiring JOE MADDON and finally realizing that it DOES MATTER who runs the ball club. JOE MADDON has had a very successful run with the TAMPA BAY RAYS, including a trip to the world series. (pssst, cub fans: that's what you play in when you win the pennant).
the front office finally grasped that SEVEN MANAGERS IN 14 YEARS, including such luminaries as DON BAYLOR, BRUCE KIM, the brain dead DUSTY BAKER, MIKE QUADE, DALE SVEUM and the senile LOU PINIELLA wasn't a good formula for winning. and now maddon gets the opportunity to right the ship that has sunk like the TITANIC most every summer for 106 years. good luck.
well, the CHICAGO BEARS accomplished something last sunday that no other team has ever been able to do. their performance was so bad in the first half that i shut the tv off and went out to rake leaves. ME! they have no passion, no pride and oh yes, very little talent on that football team. a quarterback whose face you want to punch two or three times a game, a defensive coordinator who needs a bus ticket TODAY and a head coach who has no clue on how to handle a locker room. and if i hear "well, i have to look at the tape before i comment" one more time, i do believe i'm jumping off the roof. i even took their flag down and kicked it across the deck and down the stairs to the basement. they blow.
THE CHICAGO BULLS started on a good note tonight by whuppin' the KNICKS by 25 points in the garden in new york. the key to the season is what happened tonight. limit the minutes of the starters and let the second unit contribute on a regular basis. and keep your fingers crossed on the injuries.
THE BLACKHAWKS are having problems putting the biscuit in the basket but a recent injury to COREY CRAWFORD may have resulted in the hawks finding a legit backup for the crow. lemont, illinois native SCOTT DARLING was called up from the minors to be the 'backup to the backup' but ended up with consecutive starts, winning 2-1 vs OTTAWA and losing 1-0 to the ANAHEIM DUCKS. at 6'06" & 230 pounds, he fills the net like hall of famer KEN DRYDEN did back in the 70's for the MONTREAL CANADIENS.
darling is only 25 but check out the teams he's drawn a paycheck from over the last seven years: north iowa outlaws, louisiana ice gators, mississippi river kings, florida everglades, wichita thunder, wheeling nailers, hamilton bulldogs, milwaukee admirals and the cincinnati cyclones. think darling has taken a few bus rides?
i got nuttin' else. adios
Thursday, October 23, 2014
ENOUGH!
OK, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. close the damn borders to people from west africa, including GUINEA, LIBERIA & SIERRA LEONE and protect OUR citizens from the ebola virus. we've already had several problems in texas including the man from liberia who lied about his whereabouts and consequently was allowed to gain entry into the U.S. shut both the front and back doors.
we owe nothing to those people and until the virus is under control, make it as hard as possible to gain entry. send as many doctors & volunteers OVER THERE but then they also get quarantined for 30 days upon their return.
i'm not sure i understand the problem of people jumping over the fence at the white house but i definitely have the solution. ELECTRIFY THE FENCE. how difficult is that? and before you start screaming about civil liberties, i didn't say the shock had to be fatal but rather a shock that would deter any person from climbing any further.
the white house fence is actually two fences. the first is about three feet high and provides a 'restricted area' buffer between the small fence and the nearly eight foot second fence. signs are CLEARLY posted that it's a restricted area so when a bad guy reaches the big fence, he's already ignored both the signs AND jumped the small fence.
the ONLY PERSON coming in contact with the big fence would be the bad guy who would get knocked on his ass as soon as he touches the metal and hopefully, that would activate an alarm and send agents and dogs to the offended area to make the arrest. am i missing something? sometimes the solutions are simple.
thought you'd wanna know....MESA, ARIZONA was voted the most conservative city in the nation while SAN FRANCISCO remains the most liberal.
is it just me or is MINDY KALING as untalented as i think she is?
thinking about asking the boss for a raise? well, here's a guideline for you: BRITTNEY SPEARS works just two nights a week and PLANET HOLLYWOOD just raised her salary. now they pay her a million a week, which is a 50% raise over her previous salary. for 2 nights of work. please let me know what your employer's reaction is to your request for a two day work week & a 50% raise.
a woman in florida died of injuries suffered when the passenger air bag in her honda blew shards of metal into her face & neck when she was in a head-on collision. how bad were the injuries? the highway patrol initially investigated her injuries as an attempted homicide because the 4 cuts on her neck look like someone had slashed her with a knife.
in a case of terribly bad timing, the woman received a letter from honda the week AFTER the accident warning her about the dangers of the passenger air bag.
OSCAR PISTORIOUS is the luckiest man in the world. the olympian, after shooting his girlfriend to death thru a closed bathroom door on valentine's day 2013, then concocted a ridiculous story about how he thought it was a burglar who was hiding so he opened fire despite having the 'burglar' trapped. a simple 911 call works for me.
i can tell you this after 25 years as a cop.....not too many burglars hide in the bathroom where the only way out is thru a second floor window. burglars run away, they don't hide.
in australia, there are no juries.....just a judge deciding your fate after hearing your case and in a scene eerily similiar to O.J.'s trial, oscar was found not guilty of the murder charges and only received 5 years for 'negligence' plus he'll be eligible for parole in just 10 months. incredible.
adios for now
we owe nothing to those people and until the virus is under control, make it as hard as possible to gain entry. send as many doctors & volunteers OVER THERE but then they also get quarantined for 30 days upon their return.
i'm not sure i understand the problem of people jumping over the fence at the white house but i definitely have the solution. ELECTRIFY THE FENCE. how difficult is that? and before you start screaming about civil liberties, i didn't say the shock had to be fatal but rather a shock that would deter any person from climbing any further.
the white house fence is actually two fences. the first is about three feet high and provides a 'restricted area' buffer between the small fence and the nearly eight foot second fence. signs are CLEARLY posted that it's a restricted area so when a bad guy reaches the big fence, he's already ignored both the signs AND jumped the small fence.
the ONLY PERSON coming in contact with the big fence would be the bad guy who would get knocked on his ass as soon as he touches the metal and hopefully, that would activate an alarm and send agents and dogs to the offended area to make the arrest. am i missing something? sometimes the solutions are simple.
thought you'd wanna know....MESA, ARIZONA was voted the most conservative city in the nation while SAN FRANCISCO remains the most liberal.
is it just me or is MINDY KALING as untalented as i think she is?
thinking about asking the boss for a raise? well, here's a guideline for you: BRITTNEY SPEARS works just two nights a week and PLANET HOLLYWOOD just raised her salary. now they pay her a million a week, which is a 50% raise over her previous salary. for 2 nights of work. please let me know what your employer's reaction is to your request for a two day work week & a 50% raise.
a woman in florida died of injuries suffered when the passenger air bag in her honda blew shards of metal into her face & neck when she was in a head-on collision. how bad were the injuries? the highway patrol initially investigated her injuries as an attempted homicide because the 4 cuts on her neck look like someone had slashed her with a knife.
in a case of terribly bad timing, the woman received a letter from honda the week AFTER the accident warning her about the dangers of the passenger air bag.
OSCAR PISTORIOUS is the luckiest man in the world. the olympian, after shooting his girlfriend to death thru a closed bathroom door on valentine's day 2013, then concocted a ridiculous story about how he thought it was a burglar who was hiding so he opened fire despite having the 'burglar' trapped. a simple 911 call works for me.
i can tell you this after 25 years as a cop.....not too many burglars hide in the bathroom where the only way out is thru a second floor window. burglars run away, they don't hide.
in australia, there are no juries.....just a judge deciding your fate after hearing your case and in a scene eerily similiar to O.J.'s trial, oscar was found not guilty of the murder charges and only received 5 years for 'negligence' plus he'll be eligible for parole in just 10 months. incredible.
adios for now
Monday, October 20, 2014
WEEKEND FOLLIES
THE stench at SOLDIER FIELD on sunday was terrible. i never knew that the rotting flesh of a bear could be that bad. combine that with the hopes & dreams of a season going up in smoke and it was not a very pleasant place to be.
THE CHICAGO BEARS proved on sunday that they are a really soft football team that plays without passion and has ZERO chance at making the playoffs and might not even see 8-8 for the season. JAY CUTLER, rather than being the answers to all of our worries has become the worry itself. he simply sucks and has still yet to take responsibility when speaking to the media. bad.
KYLE LONG was upset about the fans booing at halftime after the bears gave us 30 listless minutes and said it was "unacceptable" for the fans to boo like that. HEY JAGWAD, let me tell you what's unacceptable. it's when you spend the better part of the half looking at the sky and the defensive line of MIAMI is running thru your spot like open tolling on the edens and you have cleat impressions on your chest. real bad.
JARED ALLEN benched in the second half. deservedly so.
JEREMIAH RATLIFFE? awesome performance but unfortunately, it was a solo performance.
is SEATTLE suffering from super bowl hangover? 3-3 after six games and following in the footsteps of many previous champs who struggled to make the playoffs.
NFC playoff teams for this year? now that i've had a six week peek, here they are: detroit, green bay, dallas, philadelphia, arizona and whoever floats to the top in the absolutely dreadful nfc south. seattle stays home.
the AFC will bring the following 6 teams to the dance: patriots, colts,ravens & denver being the slam dunks and add two wild cards in the bengals & chargers.
ok, listen up because you won't see this very often in this column. NOTRE DAME played a hell of a football game on saturday night before bowing to the defending nation champion FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES 31-27. and no, despite COACH BRIAN KELLY'S rantings, they didn't get screwed by the officials at the end of the game. even irish apologist and former coach LOU HOLTZ said it was offensive pass interference. the irish will learn that you have to play all 60 minutes every game and will be monsters NEXT year.
i know i've said it before but how strong is the SEC? 4 of the top 5 ranked teams in the nation are from the SEC WEST but the unfortunate part is that ALABAMA plays AUBURN & MISSISSIPPI plays MISSISSIPPI STATE next month which will probably knock two of those teams out of the playoffs and allow MICHIGAN STATE & OREGON to sneak in the back door if they hold serve because their one loss was early in the season.
the CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS are off & running with 7 of a possible 8 points in the first four games. they are loaded for bear and will need every bit of it to survive the western conference playoffs.
do you believe DERRICK ROSE is healthy? i do but please do something with that hairdo. jesus. later.
THE CHICAGO BEARS proved on sunday that they are a really soft football team that plays without passion and has ZERO chance at making the playoffs and might not even see 8-8 for the season. JAY CUTLER, rather than being the answers to all of our worries has become the worry itself. he simply sucks and has still yet to take responsibility when speaking to the media. bad.
KYLE LONG was upset about the fans booing at halftime after the bears gave us 30 listless minutes and said it was "unacceptable" for the fans to boo like that. HEY JAGWAD, let me tell you what's unacceptable. it's when you spend the better part of the half looking at the sky and the defensive line of MIAMI is running thru your spot like open tolling on the edens and you have cleat impressions on your chest. real bad.
JARED ALLEN benched in the second half. deservedly so.
JEREMIAH RATLIFFE? awesome performance but unfortunately, it was a solo performance.
is SEATTLE suffering from super bowl hangover? 3-3 after six games and following in the footsteps of many previous champs who struggled to make the playoffs.
NFC playoff teams for this year? now that i've had a six week peek, here they are: detroit, green bay, dallas, philadelphia, arizona and whoever floats to the top in the absolutely dreadful nfc south. seattle stays home.
the AFC will bring the following 6 teams to the dance: patriots, colts,ravens & denver being the slam dunks and add two wild cards in the bengals & chargers.
ok, listen up because you won't see this very often in this column. NOTRE DAME played a hell of a football game on saturday night before bowing to the defending nation champion FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES 31-27. and no, despite COACH BRIAN KELLY'S rantings, they didn't get screwed by the officials at the end of the game. even irish apologist and former coach LOU HOLTZ said it was offensive pass interference. the irish will learn that you have to play all 60 minutes every game and will be monsters NEXT year.
i know i've said it before but how strong is the SEC? 4 of the top 5 ranked teams in the nation are from the SEC WEST but the unfortunate part is that ALABAMA plays AUBURN & MISSISSIPPI plays MISSISSIPPI STATE next month which will probably knock two of those teams out of the playoffs and allow MICHIGAN STATE & OREGON to sneak in the back door if they hold serve because their one loss was early in the season.
the CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS are off & running with 7 of a possible 8 points in the first four games. they are loaded for bear and will need every bit of it to survive the western conference playoffs.
do you believe DERRICK ROSE is healthy? i do but please do something with that hairdo. jesus. later.
Monday, October 6, 2014
ok, ladies, your turn to laugh at the boys. i've been saving these until i had enough.
**************************************
JIM RIVERS of HAZARD, KENTUCKY was arrested for DUI for driving his newly purchased car in reverse down a state highway. rivers had just purchased the vehicle for five hundred dollars "as is" which apparently means you only get two tires. when asked why he was driving in reverse (at 30 mph), rivers stated that his new car was just too hard to steer going forward with no tires.
***********************************
PETE ZRBA of NEW JERSEY was arrested for burglary when police found him inside a fenced in new car parking lot being tossed around by a ninety pound doberman. zrba said he wasn't there to steal but rather to play with the dog. zrba'a problems started when he hit the ground on the wrong side of the fence and the dog came out from under a car. in addition, zrba only weighs 115 pounds.
**************************************
JIM SHAYS of PHOENIX got in trouble when he was showing his friends in his back yard how good he was as a 'quick draw' artist when he shot himself in the foot ........(get ready for this one) TWICE! shays apparently grazed himself the first time when his finger caught on the trigger while drawing and it discharged and then got mad when his friends started to trash talk so he got back up, drew the weapon again and promptly put a .44 caliber round right through the middle of his right foot. so what's the problem? turns out jim is a two time convicted felon and owning guns & ammo is a big no-no.
******************************************
BERNARD BARNARD of ORLANDO(no, i didn't make up this name)told everyone at the local SUBWAY that he had a gun and came behind the counter as the employees backed into a corner. one employee opened the cash register but the 400 pound barnard was only interested in the bread & meats and didn't take a dime.
after emptying the front display case of all the meat and the bread warmer of 25 loaves, he ran out the front door. the police arrived and were told barnard had headed west. they found first one loaf on the sidewalk and then a half block later, another and then ....well, you get the picture. the trail of loaves ended by an askew sewer cover and barnard was found sitting at the bottom of the ladder enjoying his cold cuts in the sewer.
****************************************
WILLIAM JEFFERS was arrested in CLEVELAND trying to use bogus tickets to enter a ball game that he made at home on his computer. a sharp ticket agent saw that INDIANS was spelled INDIENS and notified security.
******************************************
HANS DIMITRI of LOS ANGELES was arrested for shoplifting when a butcher watching thru the two-way glass saw dimitri stuff some steaks down the front of his pants. when the officers happened to bring up the mirror, hans was stunned. "i thought they put that mirror there so women could check their hair and makeup."
****************************************
and finally, LAMONE STAGS (again, not made up) of CHICAGO got in big trouble for impersonating a police officer when he honked his horn repeatedly and forced a car to the side of the road. wearing a white shirt & tie, stags walked up to the second car and flashed a badge while identifying himself as a police officer and told the driver that he had gone thru a stop sign and he would have to post a cash bond to be released.
the driver gave stags fifty bucks and stags told him to stay in the car while he writes him up. the driver obeyed and as stags returned to give him the ticket (from a old ticket book he found in a dumpster) 3 chicago squads came screaming up to the scene. turns out stags had stopped the DISTRICT COMMANDER of area 9 who was on his way in to work. this was stags' 4th arrest for the same offense.
****************************************
AIN'T US MEN PRETTY SHARP? bye for now
**************************************
JIM RIVERS of HAZARD, KENTUCKY was arrested for DUI for driving his newly purchased car in reverse down a state highway. rivers had just purchased the vehicle for five hundred dollars "as is" which apparently means you only get two tires. when asked why he was driving in reverse (at 30 mph), rivers stated that his new car was just too hard to steer going forward with no tires.
***********************************
PETE ZRBA of NEW JERSEY was arrested for burglary when police found him inside a fenced in new car parking lot being tossed around by a ninety pound doberman. zrba said he wasn't there to steal but rather to play with the dog. zrba'a problems started when he hit the ground on the wrong side of the fence and the dog came out from under a car. in addition, zrba only weighs 115 pounds.
**************************************
JIM SHAYS of PHOENIX got in trouble when he was showing his friends in his back yard how good he was as a 'quick draw' artist when he shot himself in the foot ........(get ready for this one) TWICE! shays apparently grazed himself the first time when his finger caught on the trigger while drawing and it discharged and then got mad when his friends started to trash talk so he got back up, drew the weapon again and promptly put a .44 caliber round right through the middle of his right foot. so what's the problem? turns out jim is a two time convicted felon and owning guns & ammo is a big no-no.
******************************************
BERNARD BARNARD of ORLANDO(no, i didn't make up this name)told everyone at the local SUBWAY that he had a gun and came behind the counter as the employees backed into a corner. one employee opened the cash register but the 400 pound barnard was only interested in the bread & meats and didn't take a dime.
after emptying the front display case of all the meat and the bread warmer of 25 loaves, he ran out the front door. the police arrived and were told barnard had headed west. they found first one loaf on the sidewalk and then a half block later, another and then ....well, you get the picture. the trail of loaves ended by an askew sewer cover and barnard was found sitting at the bottom of the ladder enjoying his cold cuts in the sewer.
****************************************
WILLIAM JEFFERS was arrested in CLEVELAND trying to use bogus tickets to enter a ball game that he made at home on his computer. a sharp ticket agent saw that INDIANS was spelled INDIENS and notified security.
******************************************
HANS DIMITRI of LOS ANGELES was arrested for shoplifting when a butcher watching thru the two-way glass saw dimitri stuff some steaks down the front of his pants. when the officers happened to bring up the mirror, hans was stunned. "i thought they put that mirror there so women could check their hair and makeup."
****************************************
and finally, LAMONE STAGS (again, not made up) of CHICAGO got in big trouble for impersonating a police officer when he honked his horn repeatedly and forced a car to the side of the road. wearing a white shirt & tie, stags walked up to the second car and flashed a badge while identifying himself as a police officer and told the driver that he had gone thru a stop sign and he would have to post a cash bond to be released.
the driver gave stags fifty bucks and stags told him to stay in the car while he writes him up. the driver obeyed and as stags returned to give him the ticket (from a old ticket book he found in a dumpster) 3 chicago squads came screaming up to the scene. turns out stags had stopped the DISTRICT COMMANDER of area 9 who was on his way in to work. this was stags' 4th arrest for the same offense.
****************************************
AIN'T US MEN PRETTY SHARP? bye for now
Thursday, October 2, 2014
BREAKING NEWS
in a MAJOR SETBACK for women, the head of the secret service has resigned following several major incidents regarding the safety of PRESIDENT OBAMA.
director JULIA PIERSON handed in her resignation after her incompetence became national news following several serious threats to the president, including the deranged veteran entering the white house last week and reaching the east room just 4 minutes after the president had left the building. makes you wonder exactly what she did to last 30 years in the secret service.
pierson was the first woman to head the service and lasted just 18 months on the job but screwed it up royally, putting the president at risk several times including a construction worker riding an elevator with the president while armed with a handgun.
************************************************************************
watch 20/20 this friday on ABC for an interesting feature on a punk from johnsburg, il. named Mario who was convicted of murder. there are many twists & turns in the case which sent him to prison for 38 years.
*********************************************************************
if you didn't like the weather for the last two weeks of september, there is something seriously wrong with you.
*********************************************************************
and now EBOLA has reached the united states. a man returning from WEST AFRICA is confined to a dalls hospital and is in critical condition. more than three thousand people have died in africa over the last 4 months and now the highly contagious disease has reached our borders. keep your fingers crossed.
*******************************************************************
the jerk who set fire to the AURORA RADAR STATION should be tried as a terrorist and executed as such if convicted. and don't give me any of this crap that 'he didn't know what he was doing' when he goes to court. nobody can read his mind on the day of the incident but the intent was obvious. over a hundred million dollars was lost by the air lines because of the fires.
*********************************************************************
adios for now
director JULIA PIERSON handed in her resignation after her incompetence became national news following several serious threats to the president, including the deranged veteran entering the white house last week and reaching the east room just 4 minutes after the president had left the building. makes you wonder exactly what she did to last 30 years in the secret service.
pierson was the first woman to head the service and lasted just 18 months on the job but screwed it up royally, putting the president at risk several times including a construction worker riding an elevator with the president while armed with a handgun.
************************************************************************
watch 20/20 this friday on ABC for an interesting feature on a punk from johnsburg, il. named Mario who was convicted of murder. there are many twists & turns in the case which sent him to prison for 38 years.
*********************************************************************
if you didn't like the weather for the last two weeks of september, there is something seriously wrong with you.
*********************************************************************
and now EBOLA has reached the united states. a man returning from WEST AFRICA is confined to a dalls hospital and is in critical condition. more than three thousand people have died in africa over the last 4 months and now the highly contagious disease has reached our borders. keep your fingers crossed.
*******************************************************************
the jerk who set fire to the AURORA RADAR STATION should be tried as a terrorist and executed as such if convicted. and don't give me any of this crap that 'he didn't know what he was doing' when he goes to court. nobody can read his mind on the day of the incident but the intent was obvious. over a hundred million dollars was lost by the air lines because of the fires.
*********************************************************************
adios for now
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
ALL AROUND SPORTS
Just to make sure, I had to wait for the pirate/giant playoff game to be finished but finally that 8-0 snoozefest is over as the GIANTS beat the crap out of the pirates IN PITTSBURGH.....
HOW ABOUT THAT KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND WILD CARD GAME on tuesday night? what a playoff game! manager NED YOST is out of his mind.....lifting BIG GAME JAMES shields after only 88 pitches and having his runner steal third with one out but he got away with it in a scintillating 9-8 victory in 14 innings. STOLEN BASES, BUNTS, HIT & RUNS.....just like the baseball i grew up with. a nice change of pace but yost is still out of his mind.
i'm happy for BILLY BUTLER. many years with terrible kansas city teams but now he gets a chance to shine in the NLDS.........good luck billy!
oakland general manager BILLY BEANE learned a tough lesson. when you go "all in" don't do it with 5 former cubs on your roster. the kiss of death to many teams over the years was having too many former north siders on your team and when you have 20% of your roster loaded with former cubs, you are simply doomed to fail.
rule of thumb: the CUBS SUCK and they have for 565 years. you have to be very careful when melding that poison on your team.
ADAM DUNN says he's retiring. i wish he had retired 4 freaking years ago. an absolute waste of 56 million dollars. he sucked for all 4 years with the WHITE SOX.
i knew it! CHRIS SALE & ROBIN VENTURA got into a shouting match last week which was heard all the way from his office to the dugout. let's see who wins this tug of war. the manager with no fucking brains or the franchise pitcher. fuck robin ventura.
why hasn't ronald belasario been released?
good luck to GORDON BECKHAM & ALEJANDRO DE AZA in the playoffs. two decent guys with limited baseball skills go to the post season. i hope they tear it up.
who do you like for a better comeback year.....KOBE BRYANT or DERRICK ROSE? tough question.
JAY CUTLER is a stone loser. oh, did i already say that?
did the USA blow in the ryder cup or what? it's quite obvious that the europeans have taken center stage in golf and are in good shape for the next 10 years. the three day event was over after day two.
and no, TIGER would not have made a difference.
want to make some easy money with your bookie? simply lay the points to illinois every week and line up at the pay window on monday. the "fighting illini" are simply awful and have no chance in most football games. THIS WEEK, purdue gets 10 points in champaign. you know what to do.
you want the toughest conference in college football? ok, that was too easy because we all know it's the SEC. but how about the toughest division? the SEC WEST has 6 teams total and 5 of them are ranked in the top 15. that's right, 33% of the best teams in the country are from one DIVISION in a conference. incredible.
and did i mention that LSU's graduation rate for athletes is HIGHER than the vaunted university of illinois? absolute fact.
i'm spent. adios
HOW ABOUT THAT KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND WILD CARD GAME on tuesday night? what a playoff game! manager NED YOST is out of his mind.....lifting BIG GAME JAMES shields after only 88 pitches and having his runner steal third with one out but he got away with it in a scintillating 9-8 victory in 14 innings. STOLEN BASES, BUNTS, HIT & RUNS.....just like the baseball i grew up with. a nice change of pace but yost is still out of his mind.
i'm happy for BILLY BUTLER. many years with terrible kansas city teams but now he gets a chance to shine in the NLDS.........good luck billy!
oakland general manager BILLY BEANE learned a tough lesson. when you go "all in" don't do it with 5 former cubs on your roster. the kiss of death to many teams over the years was having too many former north siders on your team and when you have 20% of your roster loaded with former cubs, you are simply doomed to fail.
rule of thumb: the CUBS SUCK and they have for 565 years. you have to be very careful when melding that poison on your team.
ADAM DUNN says he's retiring. i wish he had retired 4 freaking years ago. an absolute waste of 56 million dollars. he sucked for all 4 years with the WHITE SOX.
i knew it! CHRIS SALE & ROBIN VENTURA got into a shouting match last week which was heard all the way from his office to the dugout. let's see who wins this tug of war. the manager with no fucking brains or the franchise pitcher. fuck robin ventura.
why hasn't ronald belasario been released?
good luck to GORDON BECKHAM & ALEJANDRO DE AZA in the playoffs. two decent guys with limited baseball skills go to the post season. i hope they tear it up.
who do you like for a better comeback year.....KOBE BRYANT or DERRICK ROSE? tough question.
JAY CUTLER is a stone loser. oh, did i already say that?
did the USA blow in the ryder cup or what? it's quite obvious that the europeans have taken center stage in golf and are in good shape for the next 10 years. the three day event was over after day two.
and no, TIGER would not have made a difference.
want to make some easy money with your bookie? simply lay the points to illinois every week and line up at the pay window on monday. the "fighting illini" are simply awful and have no chance in most football games. THIS WEEK, purdue gets 10 points in champaign. you know what to do.
you want the toughest conference in college football? ok, that was too easy because we all know it's the SEC. but how about the toughest division? the SEC WEST has 6 teams total and 5 of them are ranked in the top 15. that's right, 33% of the best teams in the country are from one DIVISION in a conference. incredible.
and did i mention that LSU's graduation rate for athletes is HIGHER than the vaunted university of illinois? absolute fact.
i'm spent. adios
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
CHICAGO SPORTS
So now you know EXACTLY who they are. the BEARS are an average team but not very good and certainly not excellent. they'll continue to be competitive against other average teams, occasionally beat a very good team and normally handle the bottom feeders but 8-8 is the neighborhood where they are and will continue to be.
a swiss cheese defense and a quarterback who is consistenly ranked between 14 & 18 in the ratings will continue to keep them mediocre for years to come. JAY CUTLER is a good but not great quarterback (noticing a pattern here?) who is signed for the NEXT SEVEN YEARS. ouch.
i think defensive back CHARLES WOODSON of the packers said it best a few years ago: "all we have to do is be patient and eventually jay will throw it to one of us." and nothing cutler has done since that quote was made will change anyone's mind.
WHY HAVEN'T I READ THAT RONALD BELISARIO HAS BEEN WAIVED BY THE WHITE SOX? his contract expired on monday and in his final pay envelope should also be a bus ticket to anywhere but chicago.
HOW BAD IS BASEBALL IN CHICAGO? both teams finish 73-89 and both teams were 17 games behind the division winners. sheesh.
a quick review of both teams:
the sox improved 10 games this season with the additions of JOSE ABREU & ADAM EATON but they need to visit the pitching department at their local baseball store and stock up on arms. they're going to be fine offensively for 2015 but you can't win without catching the ball and the sox were 12th defensively out of 15 teams. way too many errors and when you give teams an extra out, you're asking for trouble.
they got rid of dead weight in ADAM DUNN, ALEJANDRO DE AZA & GORDON BECKHAM plus the retirement of PAUL KONERKO will open the door for a younger player with a future (no offense, paulie).
now if they can move DAYAN VICIEDO for some pitching, that would be just fine with me. they led the american league in blown saves this year AND leads given up after the 7th inning. and no, they don't want EDWIN JACKSON.
speaking of jackson, THEO EPSTEIN'S first signing is 14-33 over his first two seasons with a 5.50 e.r.a. AND the cubs still have him for two more years at 11 million per year! nice.
everyone on the north side is holding their breath awaiting the arrival of the full contingent of the 'magnificent seven' from the minor leagues but tread lightly, cub fans. three of them surfaced this season but only JORGE SOLER showed he has major league potential. JAVY BAEZ & ARISMENDY ALCANTARA tore up the league the first time around but then sank like the titanic once pitchers found out their numerous weaknesses and they hit .169 & .205 respectively.
and now we wait for KRIS BRYANT, KYLE SCHWARBER, ADDISON RUSSELL & ALBERT AMORA to fill out the roster and carry the cubs to the promised land.
just like COREY PATTERSON did. and MARK PRIOR. and hall of shamers like TODD HUNDLEY, MILTON BRADLEY, BOBBY HILL, HE SOP CHOI, CESAR IZTURIS, RICH HILL and the immortal FELIX PIE did over the past decade or so. what a group.
BRING ON THE HAWKS & THE BULLS! later.........
a swiss cheese defense and a quarterback who is consistenly ranked between 14 & 18 in the ratings will continue to keep them mediocre for years to come. JAY CUTLER is a good but not great quarterback (noticing a pattern here?) who is signed for the NEXT SEVEN YEARS. ouch.
i think defensive back CHARLES WOODSON of the packers said it best a few years ago: "all we have to do is be patient and eventually jay will throw it to one of us." and nothing cutler has done since that quote was made will change anyone's mind.
WHY HAVEN'T I READ THAT RONALD BELISARIO HAS BEEN WAIVED BY THE WHITE SOX? his contract expired on monday and in his final pay envelope should also be a bus ticket to anywhere but chicago.
HOW BAD IS BASEBALL IN CHICAGO? both teams finish 73-89 and both teams were 17 games behind the division winners. sheesh.
a quick review of both teams:
the sox improved 10 games this season with the additions of JOSE ABREU & ADAM EATON but they need to visit the pitching department at their local baseball store and stock up on arms. they're going to be fine offensively for 2015 but you can't win without catching the ball and the sox were 12th defensively out of 15 teams. way too many errors and when you give teams an extra out, you're asking for trouble.
they got rid of dead weight in ADAM DUNN, ALEJANDRO DE AZA & GORDON BECKHAM plus the retirement of PAUL KONERKO will open the door for a younger player with a future (no offense, paulie).
now if they can move DAYAN VICIEDO for some pitching, that would be just fine with me. they led the american league in blown saves this year AND leads given up after the 7th inning. and no, they don't want EDWIN JACKSON.
speaking of jackson, THEO EPSTEIN'S first signing is 14-33 over his first two seasons with a 5.50 e.r.a. AND the cubs still have him for two more years at 11 million per year! nice.
everyone on the north side is holding their breath awaiting the arrival of the full contingent of the 'magnificent seven' from the minor leagues but tread lightly, cub fans. three of them surfaced this season but only JORGE SOLER showed he has major league potential. JAVY BAEZ & ARISMENDY ALCANTARA tore up the league the first time around but then sank like the titanic once pitchers found out their numerous weaknesses and they hit .169 & .205 respectively.
and now we wait for KRIS BRYANT, KYLE SCHWARBER, ADDISON RUSSELL & ALBERT AMORA to fill out the roster and carry the cubs to the promised land.
just like COREY PATTERSON did. and MARK PRIOR. and hall of shamers like TODD HUNDLEY, MILTON BRADLEY, BOBBY HILL, HE SOP CHOI, CESAR IZTURIS, RICH HILL and the immortal FELIX PIE did over the past decade or so. what a group.
BRING ON THE HAWKS & THE BULLS! later.........
Friday, September 19, 2014
the commissioner of the NFL, ROGER GOODELL, makes 44 million dollars a year but will soon be headed to the unemployment line due to his mishandling of the domestic violence issue.
we've all seen the elevator video but goodell claims he never saw it although the footage was delivered to the nfl offices months ago and RAY RICE admitted to goodell that he knocked his then girl friend out cold. goodell treats domestic violence like it's a burden FOR HIM.
the irony....if you beat a dog like MICHAEL VICK did a few years ago, you get a two year suspension. beat your wife? take a seat for just two games. seriously, that's what he did. think it's time for a new commissioner?
NIK WALLENDA announced he's walking a tight rope across the CHICAGO RIVER without a net and then between buildings on november 2nd. i watched this guy walk across the grand canyon a few months ago and he is fearless. and crazy. his grandfather was walking between buildings in PUERTO RICO about thirty years ago and a gust of wind sent him to meet his maker. better luck to nik on his chicago walk. they have to work out some permit issues but i'm sure that it'll happen.
alderman BOB FIORETTI threw his hat in the ring for mayor of chicago but he has a lot of baggage with financial issues from prior campaigns. if you can't balance your books while running for alderman, then why would you want him for mayor? fioretti's candidacy hurts possible candidate KAREN LEWIS, the head of the chicago teacher's union. they'll split the anti-RAHM vote which should leave emmanuel enough wiggle room to get re-elected.
any bets on whether we'll be sending troops back to the middle east? we approved weapons and air strikes so far. stay tuned.
the PRESIDENT couldn't win with his national broadcast last week no matter what he said. his plan would have been attacked no matter what. if he said blue, the other side would have screamed for red and vice-versa.
i don't mean to be insensitive but the ISIS issue is way too complicated for a simple plan like the president's and as gruesome as beheading a reporter is, is it worth a new war? stick to the drones and chop them up one by one but the victims have to be considered 'casualties of war' who knew the risk by working overseas.
but we did send 3,000 troops to AFRICA to help in the fight against ebola. last time i wrote, the death count was 1,200. now it's 2,300 and climbing with another 3,000 sick. the WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION said the totals could double every three weeks and it could cost one billion dollars to fight the epidemic with no guarantee of success.
DONALD TRUMP'S atlantic city casino, TRUMP PLAZA, became the 4th casino to close this year in that beleaguered ocean front city but trump did have a victory in chicago when the mayor introduced a bill to prohibit signs like the trump sign that illuminates the riverwalk area. that would leave trump's 2900 square foot sign as the only one on a building in that area. DONALD 1, RAHM 0.
that's it for now. have a great weekend and enjoy this spectacular fall weather.
we've all seen the elevator video but goodell claims he never saw it although the footage was delivered to the nfl offices months ago and RAY RICE admitted to goodell that he knocked his then girl friend out cold. goodell treats domestic violence like it's a burden FOR HIM.
the irony....if you beat a dog like MICHAEL VICK did a few years ago, you get a two year suspension. beat your wife? take a seat for just two games. seriously, that's what he did. think it's time for a new commissioner?
NIK WALLENDA announced he's walking a tight rope across the CHICAGO RIVER without a net and then between buildings on november 2nd. i watched this guy walk across the grand canyon a few months ago and he is fearless. and crazy. his grandfather was walking between buildings in PUERTO RICO about thirty years ago and a gust of wind sent him to meet his maker. better luck to nik on his chicago walk. they have to work out some permit issues but i'm sure that it'll happen.
alderman BOB FIORETTI threw his hat in the ring for mayor of chicago but he has a lot of baggage with financial issues from prior campaigns. if you can't balance your books while running for alderman, then why would you want him for mayor? fioretti's candidacy hurts possible candidate KAREN LEWIS, the head of the chicago teacher's union. they'll split the anti-RAHM vote which should leave emmanuel enough wiggle room to get re-elected.
any bets on whether we'll be sending troops back to the middle east? we approved weapons and air strikes so far. stay tuned.
the PRESIDENT couldn't win with his national broadcast last week no matter what he said. his plan would have been attacked no matter what. if he said blue, the other side would have screamed for red and vice-versa.
i don't mean to be insensitive but the ISIS issue is way too complicated for a simple plan like the president's and as gruesome as beheading a reporter is, is it worth a new war? stick to the drones and chop them up one by one but the victims have to be considered 'casualties of war' who knew the risk by working overseas.
but we did send 3,000 troops to AFRICA to help in the fight against ebola. last time i wrote, the death count was 1,200. now it's 2,300 and climbing with another 3,000 sick. the WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION said the totals could double every three weeks and it could cost one billion dollars to fight the epidemic with no guarantee of success.
DONALD TRUMP'S atlantic city casino, TRUMP PLAZA, became the 4th casino to close this year in that beleaguered ocean front city but trump did have a victory in chicago when the mayor introduced a bill to prohibit signs like the trump sign that illuminates the riverwalk area. that would leave trump's 2900 square foot sign as the only one on a building in that area. DONALD 1, RAHM 0.
that's it for now. have a great weekend and enjoy this spectacular fall weather.
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