Saturday, November 9, 2024

WHAT A WEEK

 Tuesday has come and gone and as predicted in these pages, Donald Trump was easily re-elected with over 300 electoral votes with, I believe, more to come from Arizona. I thought he would be in the 280's but I never thought he would win ALL 7 battleground states and I'm pretty sure that qualifies as a total 'ass kicking.'

Kamala Harris is a fine human being but she was put into an impossible situation, taking over for a doddering sitting president who was embarrassed at a televised national debate and forced to give up his re-election bid. 

She really had no chance and was even trounced by FOUR MILLION popular votes and once again, I reiterate that a female will NEVER be elected president in the United States. It's just not going to happen for a variety of reasons.....starting with minority males who roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders at the very thought.

I got some heat when I posted last time about women being looked upon as second class citizens but I stand with that position and now it's showtime for Trump.

So let's stop the protests and the picketing and go about your everyday business and give the man a chance to keep all the promises he made along the campaign trail.

 My favorite is 'ending the wars in just a week' and I can't wait for the reaction from Israel's prime minister BENJAMIN NETANYAHU when Trump tells him to stand down and play nice with the terrorists who slaughtered 1200 innocent Jews last October.

Deporting one million illegal aliens. Let me help you out with that one......just start by deporting the illegals who break the law and leave the law abiding ones alone.

Mr. Trump, I wish you well because there is a lot of work to do in this country and we don't have time for petty vendettas or revenge tours. But I'll give you a chance. You earned it and fair is fair. 

And that's all I have for now. God bless America.


Friday, October 25, 2024

THIS AND THAT--CLEANING OFF THE DESK

 It's been a week or so and I've got a bunch more on my desk so let's hit it.

I HATE liver.

                                           *******

I can't wait for election to end and clear up the air waves on tv. But make sure you vote.

                                              *******

Prison causes dementia. So what? How much angst, sorrow and depression did they give to their victims? Screw them.

                                            *******

In 2022, a CTA train crashed into a snow plow clearing the tracks and two dozen people were injured BUT the National Traffic Safety Board has decided that the operator's blood alcohol of .06 (federal limit is .02) DID NOT play have any part in the crash. 

For the record, a BAC of .05 impairs judgement, physical function and reactions and above all, alertness and those are scientific facts, not my opinion. The operator of the train has not been charged with any infraction and is still employed by the CTA, although he remains 'out of service' with regards to operating a train. Who's kissing whom at the NTSB? 

                                       *******

I really have a taste for a double cheeseburger at McDonalds...........but hold the onions.                                                                        *******

Love crunchy hash browns.

                                      *******                                        

I also don't like asparagus and god forbid, brussels (yes, there's an 'S' on the end) sprouts. or cooked carrots. or cooked spinach. yuk. or cheesy potatoes. or any kind of cheese on a breakfast item. 

Or pancakes because you eat them on Saturday morning and you can still feel them Monday afternoon. Wayyyyyyy too heavy.

                                        *******                                 Looks like the MENENDEZ BROTHERS will out by the end of 2025. Hung jury in 1989 followed by a second trial in which the abuse testimony was not allowed. Guilty and life without parole. 

Not sure how I feel about this but there are mitigating circumstances. And they have served 35 years and are classified as 'model prisoners.' Justice served?

                                           *******
That sicko from Melrose Park pled guilty to torching the 'WALKING MAN' under Wacker Driver 2 years ago and took 47 years. Not enough. Guy was sleeping when the psycho doused him in lighter fluid and dropped a match. The Walking Man lived for several months in horrible pain before succumbing to his injuries. But the 30 year old piece of crap will be released from prison when he's 66 years old and that's just not fair. Justice not served.
                                        *******
Halloween week will see many villages use trick or treat hours Saturday or Sunday from 1-5 with all the little darlings getting home safely while it's still daylight and now you get a little history.

Every town was struggling with many reports of big kids stealing candy from little kids after dark, not to mention the vandalism and the streets being littered with broken/smashed pumpkins. Knock the kids down and steal their entire bag. Little kids crying and bruised and the dispatch phones never stopped ringing.

I AM VERY PROUD THAT IT WAS MY IDEA at a police meeting back in the 80's to reduce the same problems we had as every other department when the kids were out after dark and we were the first village to try it, changing the Halloween hours from the actual date to a weekend day from 1-5 p.m.

Every other village laughed at us and said we were ruining Halloween but our Chief at the time stuck by my idea and that year our crime report for Halloween said ZERO PERCENT and then who was laughing? 

Now there are very few towns that allow trick or treating on October 31st as most have transitioned to daylight fun on the weekend or 'trunk and treat' in community parking lots. And you're entirely welcome. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š
                                         *******
Haven't had a trick or treater come to my door in 15 years. Might have something to do with living across from a cemetery.
                                        *******
Thanksgiving is just 5 weeks away and if you're cooking the bird and struggle with dry white meat, try BRINING the turkey and you will get high fives all around the table. I started brining a few years back with outstanding success and if you want the recipe, just email me. EASY TO DO and all you need is a clean 5 gallon bucket or a cooler that you take on a picnic. Yummy!
                                         *******
Had a hell of a year with my medical staff. The doctor who did my knee replacement has stage 4 cancer and my long time allergist died as did my primary physician. YIKES! 
                                         *******
And to clarify some personal health misinformation floating around, I had back surgery at the end of May and then managed to tear my right bicep tendon completely off the bone and had that surgery in the middle of August but things have calmed down and now I'm only dealing with plantar fasciitis in my left foot and a baker's cyst behind my right knee which occasionally requires my old friend, the cane.

I DID NOT BREAK MY LEG nor was I in an auto accident.

I have rejected several offers to take me out to a field and just shoot me to end the misery and I also said no to wrapping me in bubble wrap because that would probably be a little too hot and further limit my limited mobility.
                                       *******
Ok, that's it. Be safe and stay out of Chicago. Enjoy the glorious weather and Halloween.

Monday, October 21, 2024

THE ELECTION

First, a little background before we dig in. I am a moderate Republican who is strongly in favor of the death penalty and building more prisons. I also strongly believe that when someone has been through the system enough times to finally qualify for prison, they should be classified as a 'career criminal' and serve the entire length of their sentence. No early release, no parole. I also believe in the prisoners doing manual labor outside the prison and improving roads, picking up trash, shoveling snow, etc.

I am also a strong supporter of the military and the police and feel that educators are grossly underpaid. I also believe that corporal punishment should be returned to the schools. A whack with a yard stick can get a kid's attention real quick and last time I checked, all of my former classmates are doing just fine.

                                       *******

Who's going to win? The United States has treated women as second class citizens for a couple hundred years and while it has gotten better, men still roll their eyes when a woman is mentioned for president.

EVEN BLACK MEN are rolling their eyes and snorting when KAMALA HARRIS' name is mentioned and she NEEDS their votes to climb the mountain. Their thought process is "We won't vote for Trump but we can't vote for a woman to be president" and their indifference is so notable that even former President BARACK OBAMA has gotten involved, imploring the black men in Georgia to get out and vote for her. The reported reaction was more grumbling and shoulder shrugging. 'Nuff said.

Let there be no mistake about it. Kamala Harris is the most liberal candidate I have ever seen except for BERNIE SANDERS. She also has a case of the flip-flops on several key issues but Trump failed to press her on those issues when he got his ass kicked in the debate. 

Opportunity lost.

Now let's go to the other side of the fence where my party has the village idiot running for president. If you disagree with him, you become his mortal enemy and he wants to hunt you down. He is buddy-buddy with VLADIMIR PUTIN and thinks Putin did the right thing by invading Ukraine. 

He is a convicted felon and facing possible jail time, whether he's elected or not and remember that he can't pardon himself from a state charge. He's also been convicted in a civil case of sexual assault and has displayed ZERO RESPECT for women through the years and that really bothers me. 

After the ass beating, he has cancelled interviews and refused to participate in a second debate and continues to call Harris names, again like a pouting child. And calling her a SHITTY VICE-PRESIDENT (exact quote) is just uncalled for in any event. You just don't do that when the microphone is hot.

 Now my entire life, I've heard that 'all politicians lie' but the thing about Trump is that he even lies about lying. He is like a petulant child when he doesn't get his own way. He single handedly broke down a bi-partisan agreement regarding the border because he didn't have any input and didn't want JOE BIDEN to have a win.

 He lied about immigrants in Ohio eating cats and dogs and to this day, despite overwhelming testimony by city officials to the contrary, has refused to retract or apologize. In my opinion, he is not fit to lead our country and, God forbid, be in charge of our military.

BUT WHO WINS??? Just jot this down. They all talk about Pennsylvania but Harris has more problems than that. She'll carry the left coast plus New Mexico & Colorado for sure but her problem starts in the mid-west because while Illinois & Minnesota are in her pocket, she is in a dead heat in Wisconsin & Michigan and if she loses either of those states, she can wave the white flag because then the Pennsylvania election becomes moot. She needs EVERY STATE in her wheel house to end up with 270 electoral votes, the minimum to be elected. (And if you're counting on one of those interactive boards, remember to include the ONE electoral vote from Nebraska)

Simply put, she NEEDS Nevada, Wisconsin AND Michigan before even thinking about Pennsylvania

Ok, if that's too much math, let's do it this way. If she loses either of the 3 states mentioned above, then she'll need either Georgia or North Carolina to make up those votes plus she still needs Pennsylvania. If I was a betting man, I would bet on Trump to win 281-259

Harris will win everything above Pennsylvania but unless men get off their recliners, it's all over and then we get to hold our breath for 4 years.

IF WAS A BETTING MAN...... just like Hillary in 2016, Harris wins the popular vote but Trump wins the election 281-256. 


Friday, September 27, 2024

A BUNCH OF STUFF

Hello again everybody! After my 'summer of surgeries' I can finally use the arm enough to send you a blog but it won't be very long. Hope everyone had a good summer and you're enjoying the extended warmth. HERE WE GO!

                                              *******

Sub-human piece of garbage ALEX JONES, the radio talk show host from Texas, was ordered some months ago to pay 1.5 BILLION dollars in damages for telling his listening audience the the 2012 SANDY HOOK MASSACRE was fake and the deaths of 26 first and second graders was 'staged and a complete hoax" and no one died. It was simply manufactured by democrats to bolster their movement for gun control.

Well, the parents of the victims disagreed as did the judge when he got whacked at trial but Jones continued on air and told his listeners "do they actually think they're getting a penny from me? Not a chance!" ON THE AIR!!

The other shoe fell this week when the judge ordered his company FREE SPEECH SYSTEMS to be auctioned off  "AND I MEAN EVERY ASSET gets auctioned, including pens, pencils, tables, chairs and the building itself." The auction is November 13th. And even filing bankruptcy won't save him this time because the assets are frozen and in the custody of the court.

                                                 *******

And speaking of morons....does anyone else raise your eyebrows when J.D. VANCE, the guy who started the absolutely UNFOUNDED RUMOR that " illegal Haitian immigrants were eating pets" in Springfield, Ohio says that he will 'continue to lie to the public' if that's what it takes to draw attention to other problems. WHAT???? Now there's the guy you want to be second in command and the direct ascendant to the presidency. Lord, save us.

Everyone knows that I'm a moderate republican but I cannot, in good faith, support this year's ticket. I know many good republicans but this current group is not among them.

BTW, the Haitians, who are all here legally with work visas, have filed suit against Vance and his boss for the slanderous lies. I don't know if anything will come from their action but good for them for standing up to bullies.

                                                  *******

DID YOU KNOW THAT ASSISTED SUICIDE is legal in Switzerland? Me neither.

                                                   *******

                                          

Speaking of the good Lord, he better protect those people in the southeast as HURRICANE HELENE wreaks death and destruction on Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and Tennessee with the death count at 30 and expected to rise. Godspeed.

                                                   *******

JOE BIDEN made the absolute correct decision when he dropped out of the race. Infrequent appearances, glassy eyed staring and slurred words amplify his decision and I hope he can enjoy the remainder of his life in peace and surrounded by family. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, JOE BIDEN!

                                                  *******

So we end on a happy note, here's a recipe I invented this summer while stuck at home. Boneless chicken breasts in a crockpot with the following ingredients for a slow cook.

 Slice the breasts in two places about halfway thru the breasts but don't cut them in half. Then place them in the crock. No more than 5 breasts. 

4 CUPS SWEET BABY RAYS ORIGINAL

ADD TWO CUPS OF OPEN PIT BARBECUE SAUCE 

ADD ONE HALF CUP OF MOLASSES

CHOP FINE TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC

ONE CUP OF WATER

mix all together and pour into the crockpot and make sure it totally covers the chicken. If it doesn't, then just add more sweet baby rays.

Depending on your crockpot, 8-10 hours on LOW. ENJOY!

                                               *******

We say goodbye to JAMES EARL JONES, the actor who was given a voice from God himself. Everything from STAR WARS TO FIELD OF DREAMS TO "WE HAVE THE MEATS!!" We will all miss his voice.

                                               *******

Ok, it took me a while but I got thru it. Enjoy the weekend!




Wednesday, August 14, 2024

REQUEIM FOR CHICAGO BASEBALL

 I waited as long as I could but it's finally over and now we bury both teams for the 2024 season.

Let's deal with the worst team first because their season ended in April with a 3-20 start and some would say it was over before they left spring training and I don't think a lot of baseball fans would disagree with that line of thinking.

THE WHITE SOX ARE THE WORST TEAM I HAVE EVER SEEN and I've watched baseball for many, many summers and seen a lot of garbage baseball on both sides of town but this is the worst, plain and simple. A brief look at the team.

Thru Tuesday night the highest batting average on the team is .243, followed by .241, .231 and .228. Then we freefall with 5 players batting in the teens and 4 more batting .199 or less. Team batting average of .219.

 Please take your Tylenol now because the shaking of your head will only get worse as you read on.

Pitching has ALWAYS been a strong point on the south side but the starting 5 pitchers have records of 6-9, 2-6, 2-11, 1-6 and 0-6 and the current run difference between the Sox and their opponents is an incredible 288 runs, which means the bad guys are averaging almost 3 runs more than the Sox EVERY GAME.

One more loss and they will be eliminated from the pennant race with 6 weeks left to play!! But they recently fired the ASSISTANT batting coach so things should turn around pretty soon.๐Ÿ˜ 

                                              *******

And now to the north side where things aren't much prettier. Cub fans all suffered through that 6 week offensive drought prior to the All Star break (.236 team average) which pushed them into the cellar of their division but to be perfectly honest, since then the team has played much better baseball all the way around but when you're chasing 6 teams for the final wild card spot, their playoff possibilities have faded like a dim lightbulb.

The Cubs have 41 games left and they trail both Arizona and San Diego by 8 games already so realistically, that leaves the only the third and final wild card spot up for grabs but I am going to give Cub fans some hope. Read on.

Of the 41 remaining games, they play the Yankees at home and the Dodgers and Phillies on the road plus the remaining  game tonight against Cleveland. Now common sense tells you the best the Cubs can hope for is one win per series so tonight would be 1 and then add 3 more and they finish 4-8 against really good teams. So Dan, where is our hope?

After you finish getting your ass kicked by the premium teams, then you play 31 games against crappy teams just like yourself! Just imagine the possibility of success by playing Pittsburgh 6 times and Washington 7 times but wait, THERE'S MORE!! 

31 games against teams with losing records and 5 of those teams ARE ALL IN LAST PLACE!!! And none of them have better records than the Cubs!

Are the Cubs the "most disappointing team in 2024" as awarded by the MLB channel or are they just late starters and good finishers? The next 6 weeks will give you that answer.

I have reserved 2 spots in the baseball cemetery.

Catch you later.


Monday, July 15, 2024

ODDS & ENDS

 My earlier concern for the BALLY'S CASINO in Chicago disappeared as they got a new partner who chipped in 800 MILLION to keep the ball rolling. A 34 story, 500 room hotel which includes a 3,000 seat performing arts center and a 2 acre public park. Inside the casino will be 3,300 slot machines and 173 table games along with 6 restaurants plus a food hall. Now let's see if they can get it done.

                                                                         ******

Another in a long list of irritating commercials....Noticeably overweight people with type II diabetes are happy as pigs in mud as they sing the JARDIANCE song and dance thru public parks, the town square and the office at work. Stop yourself right now. 

                                                                          *******

In Paris, they have announced that NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL should be fully repaired and opening for business in December. The repairs cost $760 MILLION DOLLARS and all of the money came from private donations around the world with 340,000 donors from 150 countries having donated almost a billion dollars to cover the costs. The church burned in April of 2019.

                                                                            *******

BRUMBY & WILLUM, the two koalas have arrived from China and are relaxing in a decompression area until they are ready to go out on their own to meet other animals at the zoo. They never have to worry about running out of food because eucalyptus leaves are fatal to most animals. They also relax with bamboo shoots.

Did you know that Brookfield Zoo no longer has any elephants? Not since 2010.

                                                                        *******

My lightning bugs show up around 8:45 and they're gone by 9:30. Why? I think I remember chasing them for hours as a kid until mom & dad yelled that we were stirring up the mosquitos. Who doesn't like lightning bugs? But only 45 minutes?

                                                              *******

Proud to announce I'm a brand new uncle to two baby mourning doves who were born over the weekend. Mom lets me look at the newbies from the other side of the gazebo screen as she feeds them 'pigeon milk' which is generated in her stomach. The babies will only be here for two weeks before they leave the nest but then they stay with mom for another week or so hiding in a bush before they are totally on their own and then their diet consists of seeds. If you have a bird feeder in your yard, the doves gather on the ground underneath the feeder and collect all the spilled seed. They also eat weed seeds as those plants mature and an occasional berry.

                                                               *******

Ok, let's finish up with two weird ones. Did you know that a snake can still bite you even after you chopped off it's head?!?! True story from Texas. Guy sees a EASTERN DIAMONBACK RATTLER in his yard and beheads it with a machete. Two hours later, he picks up the head to show his wife and BAM!  HERPOLOGISTS report that they have reflex muscles that still activate more than two hours after being killed and poisonous snakes (like the eastern diamondback) still have venom in their fangs. Guy spent two days in intensive care but he's going to be ok.

                                                                  *******

And finally, Texas, Alabama and Oklahoma now allow ammunition to be sold from vending machines. You slide your ID into the machine and it uses facial recognition to verify your identity and you're good to go. The one in Tulsa offered .38 caliber, 9 mm, .45 and a variety of rifle/shotgun ammunition. Just insert your credit card, press a button and the box falls to the bottom just like a candy bar. Scary fact....There is no federal regulation preventing vending machine sales of ammunition. YIKES!

                                                                *******

Ok, that's it for now. Stay cool.

HALF WAY HOME!

 Well, we've reached the imaginary half way point in the baseball season with the all-star break so it's time to hand out the report card for Chicago baseball.

Worst baseball team....Sox. We knew they would be bad but this bad?

Most disappointing team......Cubs were the co-favorite to win the division. Baseball writers recently gave them this award and I agree.

Guys not earning their LARGE paychecks..... DANSBY SWANSON...ANDREW BENINTENDI

South Side Guys who should not be on a major league roster......JASON LEASURE...MIKE SOROKA...MARTIN MALDONADO......DANNY MENDICK....ELOI JIMENEZ

North Side Garbage.....KYLE HENDRICKS....HAYDEN WESNEWSKI....TOMAS NIDO...MIGUEL AMAYA...MILES MASTROBUONI....CHRISTOPHER MOREL...PATRICK WISDOM

Sox most like to be traded this month....MICHAEL KOPECH...TOMMY PHAM...ELOI JIMENEZ...ANDREW VAUGHAN...LUIS ROBERT...PAUL DEJONG (maybe 20 more)

Cubs to be traded in July.....None because they still believe they're a playoff team๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Worst manager....PEDRO wins hands down. Very very bad.

Best non-pitcher on the Sox...I guess it would be LUIS ROBERT if he can stay healthy.

Best non-pitcher on the Cubs...it's a tie. MICHAEL BUSCH and SEIYA SUZUKI.

Best park...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best food...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best Parking....GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best Tailgating...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best pre-game drinking spots...Wrigleyville

Best post-game drinking spots...Wrigleyville  

Best place to buy drugs...Wrigleyville

Best place to buy drugs inside the park...Bleachers in Wrigley  

Not much more to say. One team is rebuilding and has ZERO chance of competing for the next few years and the other has continued the freefall that started in 2018 with key players getting long in the tooth. KYLE HENDRICKS, SHOTA IMANAGA, MARK LEITER, HECTOR NERIS,DREW SMYLY, JAMESON TALLION, TOMAS NIDO, DAVID BOTE, DANSBY SWANSON and PATRICK WISDOM are all over 30 and that ain't good.

I guess we can all keep our fingers crossed for the Bears. Later.

Tuesday, July 9, 2024

HOLIDAY MADNESS!

WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE! No, you silly goose, it's not the Cubs or the White Sox because they're both in last place and it's not the Bulls or the Blackhawks because this is their off season so let's move to a different area.

CHICAGO IS NUMBER ONE with more shootings and homicides over the holiday weekend than any other city in the entire United States!! How about that?!?! ONE HUNDRED AND NINE SHOOTINGS!! C'mon, admit it, that's a tremendous amount of perforated human flesh in just a matter of a few days and NINETEEN of those were shipped to Boot Hill. 

The jungles on the west and south sides erupted, resulting in 96% of the shootings as the ghetto rats tried out all their new fire power.....and it wasn't even hot this weekend!

Now remember that Mayor Big Teeth (MBT) has constantly stated 'that we don't need more enforcement, we just need more programs for the inner city youth.' WRONG.

Back to basics......MBT says it's a community problem and he's partially correct but to be more specific, it's a BLACK COMMUNITY PROBLEM. Nobody can deny it and there's no argument. In the ghetto neighborhoods, the criminals that you deal with have a dropout rate of OVER 80% and they constantly fall back on the old adage of 'survival of the fittest' which today means whoever can shoot fastest and straightest...wins. Simple as that. 

And NOW, after the weekend carnage, the mayor wants people arrested and held accountable. WHAT?? No more holding hands and singing Kumbaya?

The problem CAN'T be fixed. And it doesn't matter if you provide summer jobs, after school basketball programs, reparations or more teachers and more police because the ghetto rats only know one way of living and that's drugs, guns and violence resulting in either death or long terms spent in prison and trust me, if they are fortunate enough to get paroled early, they're not coming out with a master's degree in English Literature or any other formal education because you have to be able to read and write to advance. 

PLEASE stay out of Chicago and keep your family & friends safe.

                                                             *******

Only in Chicago......How the hell does a casino deal get screwed up? Bally's may be bailing out of a permanent casino site because of financial problems. Incredible.  And it doesn't help that MBT doesn't like the idea even though it would provide much needed tax money for the city. Probably too busy working on his facials and manicures.

                                                              *******

BIG JOE says 'He ain't going anywhere' and will stay in the presidential race, even after the Thursday Night Massacre two weeks ago. I admire his spirit but why do I keep thinking of the Titanic every time I see his face?

                                                                *******

RIP to actor DONALD SUTHERLAND who passed several weeks ago at the age of 89. Sutherland had over 200 credited roles in both tv and movies, with featured roles in ANIMAL HOUSE, MASH, KLUTE, THE DIRTY DOZEN and the HUNGER GAMES.

                                                                  *******

Congratulations to Chicagoan Patrick Bertoletti who won the annual NATHAN'S HOT DOG EATING CONTEST on the 4th of July in Coney Island by downing 58 dogs and buns in just 10 minutes. He also has several other records like 275 jalapenos in 8 minutes, 10.6 pounds of corned beef in 10 minutes and 21 pounds of grits in 10  minutes. YIKES!

                                                                   *******

You still have a chance to see the best local fireworks show this coming Sunday night at Peterson Park in Mchenry. They have a carnival all day long and end it with the big show which can be viewed for free from the LARGE parking lot which is actually a grass field. Bring a cooler and lawn chairs and relax after the show for about 45 minutes while they empty out.

It's route 120 to route 31 and north about 1/2 mile and then west on McCollum Lake Rd. for another 1/2 mile to Petersen Park. You won't be disappointed.

                                                                     *******

Just a reminder that the opening ceremonies for the Summer Olympics start Friday, July 26 and run thru August 11.

                                                                      *******

I'm a little confused. I totally understand commercials inviting you to visit Las Vegas, New York, Italy, Chicago, New Orleans, London and other famous places but ...NEBRASKA? Now I'm sure there are plenty of friendly farmers willing to show off their corn crop and large haystacks along with a massive amount of soybeans but for a vacation? I have seen endless commercials and included with this past Sunday's Tribune was a catalog that weighed about 3 pounds and it was all Nebraska from front to back. Go figure.

                                                                      *******

TSA has seized just over 3,000 weapons at national airports in the first 6 months of the year and 38 of those were discovered at O'Hare and 27 at Midway. Will people never learn?

                                                                      *******

Think hacking only happens to mega corporations? Today I went for a post-op exam at Illinois Bone & Joint and their computers had been frozen from Eastern Europe and the hackers were demanding ransom to release the freeze. I don't know the outcome but that's a little scary to me.

                                                                       *******

Finally, ZERO CICADAS set foot or wing upon my property. Fake news.

                                                                        *******

That's it for now. Super hot weather returns later in the week so stay hydrated and better yet, stay inside. And stay out of Chicago. Later, dude.

Thursday, June 13, 2024

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

 Hear Ye, Hear Ye, court is now in session with the sometimes honorable DANIEL VEIT presiding with the guilty parties being HUNTER BIDEN, DONALD TRUMP and CHICAGO ALDERMAN ED BURKE.

                                                                    *******

Mr. Biden, I hereby sentence you to 5 years in the Atlanta Federal Penitentiary but your sentence is suspended with the following conditions.

5 years supervised probation

90 days home confinement with ankle monitoring

Scheduled and non-scheduled drug testing with refusal counting as a failed test

Continued substance abuse counseling for 3 years

                                                                   *******

Mr. Trump, I hereby sentence you to:

5 years supervised probation

90 days home confinement with ankle monitoring

Successful completion of anger management counseling

As a convicted felon, you must surrender your gun license to the state of New York

                                                                    *******

And now let's move on to convicted Chicago alderman EDWARD BURKE, 80, who was convicted of racketeering, bribery and eleven other counts of malfeasance.

I hereby sentence you to 46 months in the federal facility in Minnesota, a minimum security facility for non-violent offenders. You cannot do all the things that you did wrong and take advantage of business people trying to make a living and expect to walk away scot free, even at the age of 80.

See how easy that was? Drop the gavel and let's move on!

                                                                   *******

The city of Chicago is trying to make it safer with an 8 o'clock curfew for "yutes" under the age of 18 but Mayor Big Teeth (MBT) doesn't like the idea because "these children are just misunderstood and just need more parks to play in during the summer. Don't forget that when you build these parks, make sure you include storage lockers so these sweet kids have a place to store their weapons while playing on the swings.

 He also doesn't like the idea that lobbyists wouldn't be able to contribute to his campaign chest so he had that proposal tabled for the time being.  Hmmmmmmmmm

MBT has a shaved sides haircut and a scraggly ass beard but it was revealed this week that he has spent............wait for it...........THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on hair styling and skin care products..........IN ONE FREAKING YEAR!  30K!!!! And that man ain't winning no beauty contest any time soon.

So I did a little figuring with my manicure and haircut costs and it comes to a yearly expenditure of $630 which means it will take me FIFTY YEARS to spend that much money! And I dare say I'm a damn sight better looking than MBT. Incredible.

                                                             *******

On a lighter note, congratulations to FRANCISCA MORALES who turned 107 years old on June 6. A native of Puerto Rico, she moved to Chicago in 1970 and settled in Humboldt Park where she still resides. She was born during WW I and WOODROW WILSON was president of the country. Good for you, PAQUITA!

                                                                *******

Every time I read anything about SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS, I feel like I have to take a shower to wash off the slime. Just now reporting thousands of dollars in 'freebies' from Republican megadonor HARLAN CROW over the years after initially reporting ONE day of travel, ONE night in a hotel, etc. but now it comes out that Clarence and company had unlimited use of Crow's private jet and also his super yacht for years. Oops, I forgot about that stuff. Sorry.

                                                                       *******

Again, I stomp my feet and ask again for age limits for the supreme court rather than lifetime appointments. Let's make it 75 which means that Thomas would be saying good-bye this year and Alito and his flying flags would be adios in 2026. New blood and fresh blood, I don't  care what side of the political fence they're on.

                                                                       *******

Things are warming up in the cesspool! The body count is in since Memorial Day weekend and in the last three weekends, the collective numbers are 107 shot and 22 homicides. And our night time weather has sucked until this week. But 90 degrees has arrived sooooooooooooooooooooooooo here we go!

                                                                         *******

Happy to report the lightning bugs arrived Tuesday night, a sure sign the weather is heating up. Always nice to see those little critters dancing across the yard just after sunset.

NO CICADAS. FAKE NEWS! A SHAM!

                                                                        *******

Ok, I'm tired of typing. Enjoy the warmer weather and HAPPY FATHER'S DAY but do not celebrate in Chicago. Stay safe! Adios

            



Friday, June 7, 2024

Happy June to everyone! Odds & Ends time so here goes.

You come back from a trip and empty your suitcase. You check the secret pockets to make sure you got everything and didn't leave a pair of dirty socks to fester over the coming months. When you're satisfied that the suitcase is totally empty, you might even give it a final shake before you put it away. Pretty standard procedure for all of us.

Now please tell me how in hell that not one, not two, not three but SIX DIFFERENT AMERICANS arrived in Turks & Caicos with freaking loose ammunition in their suitcase and they all take the position that "I didn't know it was in there."    ???!!!??? WHAT???? and BRITTANY GRENIER didn't know that she had packed hashish oil for her trip to Russia. Right. She should have served the 9 years but instead we trade her lying ass for a dangerous arms dealer. So irritating.

 Now the penalty for bringing in ammunition to Turks & Caicos is 12 years in prison but the first guy was detained ONE HUNDRED DAYS before paying $6700 in fines for having TWENTY LOOSE ROUNDS. (He didn't see or hear that when packing??--BULLSHIT) and escorted to the next plane out of the country. The second EINSTEIN was fined $9,000 for 2 loose rounds, 3 weeks in jail and shipped out. Others had 2, 4 and 7 loose rounds rattling around and their day in court is pending. All must remain on the island until that day.

In closing my thought in the opening paragraph, when I get ready to head out for my next trip, the suitcase is lifted onto my bed. Why do I do that? So I can hear LOOSE AMMUNITION rolling around and remove it. Actually, it's so I can open the suitcase wide and see what's what and I GUARANTEE YOU that I would notice ANYTHING before I started packing.  Total B.S. on the Americans.

                                                                *******

As previously reported, there are zero CICADAS and also no LIGHTNING BUGS. No Y2K and no professional baseball team on the south side of the city. Now that last one hurt me a lot.

                                                                 *******

Country star JELLY ROLL claims he's having trouble booking an international tour because he's a convicted felon. Before you start feeling sorry for Mr. Roll, be advised he's been arrested FORTY times starting at the age of 14 and eventually did time for armed robbery and served 7 years probation. 'Reap what ye sow' comes immediately to mind. 

                                                               *******

CLAUDIA SHIENBAUM, 61, became the first woman to be elected as president of Mexico and has a doctorate in energy engineering and is a strong advocate for clean energy and solar power, of which there is plenty available in her country. She is also the first person with a Jewish background to lead the overwhelmingly Catholic country and is also a strong supporter of women's rights and legalized abortion. But absolutely no mention of the drug cartels. She assumes the position September 30.

                                                               *******

Ah, the catholic church strikes again.  The Augustinian order has finally released their list of PEDOPHILE PRIESTS and there was just FIVE names on the list. As Mike Ditka likes to say, "Who you crappin?" 

Conveniently left off the list was RICHARD McGRATH who was caught looking at nude pictures of boys while sitting in the stands at a Providence high school wrestling match wrestling match and that discovery was followed by a former student's accusation of abuse and a settlement of  two million dollars but why isn't he on the list? 

"We presented the allegations to the INDEPENDENT REVIEW BOARD and they decided that the allegations were not established but the lawsuit was settled without any admission of guilt. What a scam. 

You know how I always tell you to be safe and stay out of Chicago? Well, keep your sons safe and enroll them in public schools and don't EVER leave them alone with a priest. 

                                                                           *******

Speaking of the cesspool, thru May 31, there has been 204 murders which is a decrease of 16% but we've had a cool rainy spring and the maggots and thugs and other members don't get serious until the 80's & 90's roll around. 

                                                                            *******

Yesterday was the 80th anniversary of D-DAY when the momentum of WW II changed dramatically thanks to those brave men and women. We should all take a moment and cover our heart and say a silent thank you.

                                                                          *******

ENJOY THIS MAGNIFICENT WEATHER for the next week because before you know it, we'll be walking around with hand fans and looking for shade. Be safe and stay out of Chicago. Enjoy the beautiful weekend!  

                                                             


Monday, May 20, 2024

THE WORLD GETS CRAZIER

 Will DONALD TRUMP take the witness stand? I bet several people whose heads are stuck down the rabbit hole some time ago that there was NO CHANCE despite his blowhard bravado of  'of course I'll testify' and 'I've got nothing to hide' and my favorite 'only a guilty person takes the fifth and doesn't testify' but my betting window is still open for all you trumpdy-dumptys out there. Name your price. 

                                                                   *******

Ok, enough is enough. I don't care if you're a Jew or a Palestinian. You do have the right to peaceful protest BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to set up tents on private property without the consent of the owner or take over buildings. I thought that the universities AND THE POLICE showed a great deal of restraint and allowed them plenty of time before issuing a deadline to pack up and leave BUT OF COURSE that deadline was ignored and then they all whined when their crap was thrown into the back of a garbage truck. Done. 

But you still have another option. Move back to Gaza or Israel and you can be right there on the front lines for your cause. Need a ride to the airport?

                                                                     *******

The dilemma with Israel/Gaza.  Do you continue the assault until all prisoners are accounted for? Do you stop the assault so humanitarian aid can be provided? Do you get to the negotiation table and reach a temporary solution? or a permanent one in which all prisoners on both sides are released and brought home safely? Do you put boots on the ground to find all remaining members of Hamas? 

Every time I hear a solution that sounds reasonable, I revert back to the video of October 7 when those Hamas animals broke thru the security fences with the sole intent of slaughtering Jews peacefully living in their kibbutz on their Saturday holy day of reflection. Women, children and babies were massacred and some be-headed for no other reason than being Jewish and the murder count reached 1200+. And then I get angry all over again and I totally understand their anger and rage. A terrible situation with no right answer.

                                                                 *******

As most of you know, I'm a sandwich/sausage guy and I recently discovered BEDDAR SAUSAGE WITH CHUNKS OF CHEDDAR CHEESE. Simply awesome but too long on the grill or in the microwave and the cheese starts leaking all over. Smoked sausage by Johnsonville.

Havarti cheese with dill.............exquisite. Especially on a grilled burger.

                                                                     *******

WILL TRENT is finishing his second season and should be on your watch list. Will is a troubled detective with the Georgia Bureau of Investigations who lost his mother at an early age and was raised in an orphanage and tries to hide his dyslexia by using a hand held recorder rather than taking notes. His partner is a black woman with questionable morals who is hiding her diabetes so she doesn't get put on permanent desk duty.  Add a thug detective going thru an angry divorce and another female detective trying to get sober and that's your ensemble. But you have to start with season 1 episode 1.

                                                                   *******

Will the United States get blamed for the helicopter crash in Iran that killed their president?

                                                                  *******

Is it just me or does it rain every other day? I'm mowing my lawn twice a week.๐Ÿ˜– 

                                                                  *******

100 billion locusts coming my way! Haven't seen one or heard one. Is this another Y2K?

                                                                    *******

19 more Catholic parishes in the Chicagoland area are scheduled to be closed due to "budgetary issues." Hey, let me help you out with defining that phraseology....... 

In plain speak, it means that 'we continue to get our asses kicked in civil court to the tune of mega-millions and we can no longer afford to keep the doors open because for years we tolerated pedophile priests molesting children and never did anything about it' 

Now the one good thing that has come about because of the litigation is that there is a SERIOUS shortage of priests because they are either in prison or the neighborhood perverts are avoiding the priesthood because there is too much attention on new priests and they are actually doing backgrounds before being accepted into the seminary.

Now if we can only get the Catholic church to go completely out of business and close it's doors forever. They are a shameful organization and deserve to be treated just like the nazi party in Germany after WWII. No longer allowed.

                                                                           *******

Nice weekend weather this past weekend in the city. 30 wounded, 1 killed. Just like spring training! The best/worst is yet to come!!!

                                                                        *******

Speaking of Chicago, what a surprise when the most recent stats indicate that 48 freaking per cent of youths on the west side are not in school AND unemployed. WHAT A SURPRISE! A local 'mentor' said the kids get discouraged because when they apply for a job, they don't get hired. NO!!   Ok, here are some helpful hints the next time you apply:

Don't show up wearing black gym shoes with your baseball hat turned to the left or right. As a matter of fact, DON'T wear a baseball hat. Don't grunt when you're asked a question. 'Yes sir' and 'No sir' are perfectly acceptable answers. DO NOT CARRY A GUN. or a knife. or drugs. Take a shower and comb/brush your hair. Wear a pair of dress slacks and a collared shirt with polished street shoes. And finally, when the summer is over, get your ass back in school! You're welcome.

Finally, billionaire KEN GRIFFIN donated 125 million dollars to THE MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY and yesterday they officially changed the name to the GRIFFIN MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY. There is no chance anyone calls it anything but the original name, kind of like DUSABLE LAKE SHORE DRIVE. It will forever be LSD in song and thought. But thanks for the money, Ken.

That's it for now. Enjoy Memorial Day and remember to stay out of Chicago. Adios!  

Friday, April 26, 2024

SPORTS OF ALL SORTS

 Hello again everybody and welcome to April madness with playoffs everywhere along with the NFL draft and not a moment to waste so here goes!

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CHICAGO BEARS! YOWSA!! A top shelf first round draft that grades out as A+ and makes every fan excited about next year. They were 7-10 last year and now let's hope 9-8 is in the cards for 2024.

AND A NEW STADIUM?? Be still my heart.

Now let's kill the elephant in the room so Cubs fans can relax and enjoy the rest of the column after reading the following beatdown. 

THE WHITE SOX ABSOLUTELY SUCK! My lord, they are the worst team I've seen in a long time and I truly believe they will break the all-time record of 120 losses, set by the EXPANSION New York Mets. At 3-22, they are on pace to finish 18-134.

A quick review: Just prior to co-vid, the Sox had a small window of playoff opportunity and bowed out quickly in consecutive years and that window slammed shut, emphasized by a disappointing year and then a terrible year and then they traded MOST of their regulars who were any good. 

Now if you do this, you better have people ready to play in the minors. Oops. The White Sox do have the third ranked system in the minors, behind the Cubs and the Orioles but until the kids are ready to play, it's going to be a long and dreadful two years. 

Is there any hope? 71-91, 61-101, 66-96, 73-89. Do those numbers look familiar to you, Cub fans? Those were the 4 years for the Cubs leading up to 2015 when they finished 97-65 and you all know what happened in 2016. So take a deep breath, Sox fans, and cross your fingers and your toes and maybe.....

The CUBS are off and running but need to stay healthy. Two starting outfielders, your best starting pitcher AND two steady relievers on the IL doesn't help but for the record, Uncle Dan bet the Cubs to win more than 83 games AND to win the division. I won't tell you the rest of my Cubs bets because you'll send the men with the nets and the white jackets to my house.

KYLE HENDRICKS does not have a bad back, he just stinks and the Cubs are hiding him until they figure out what to do with him. You never win the race with Father Time.

The BULLS did it again. They were just good enough to reach the playoffs and bad enough to get eliminated early, which will result in a middle of the road draft position which means next season, the beat goes on and on and on and on and everybody is one year older.

The BLACKHAWKS are really bad and will get a PREMIUM draft choice for the second consecutive year and they should be better next year. Should.

The MASTERS always seems to provide drama and excitement. Two guys trying to catch SCOTTIE SCHEFFLER on the final day resulted in unforced errors and both found the water to lock it up for Scheffler, who is the best in the world. HOWEVER.....If he spotted me 10 strokes, I would kick his ass at Augusta. Just 10 strokes.....per hole. ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ†

What the hell was the GM of the ATLANTA FALCONS thinking when he drafted a quarterback in the first round? The had just signed CAPTAIN CONCRETE to 4 years @180 million with half of that guaranteed and then you draft a left hander with a history of knee problems?? Available with that pick was an animal tight end from Georgia named BROCK BOWERS, a two time national champion. I do not comprehend.

Even the Pittsburgh Steelers don't trust JUSTIN FIELDS. Before he's thrown a single pass in practice, they informed him that they would not be picking up next year's option on his contract. Without throwing a pass. How the mighty have fallen but he joins a large club of failed Chicago quarterbacks, as follows:

CADE McNOWN, SHANE MATHEWS, CHRIS CHANDLER, HENRY BURRIS, KORDELL STEWART, CRAIG KRENZEL,CHAD HUTCHINSON, JONATHAN QUINN, KYLE ORTON, BRIAN GRIESE, JAY CUTLER & MITCH FREAKING TRUBISKY.    

I have to stop at this point because I'm feeling ill. What a group of clowns.

OK, the desk is kind of cleared off...until next time. and stay out of Chicago.



Saturday, April 20, 2024

A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF

I'm back from Mexico and we have all sorts of things to talk about NOW!

First of all, HAPPY WACKY TABACCY DAY!! Yes, today is 4/20 when all of you "dope fiends" (my father's description of tokers) gather around, put your feet up, scratch your belly, hold a cold can of beer and spark up a fatty. ENJOY! But be careful of the gummies for dessert.

Reality Check: the COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL massacre was 25 years ago today.

Today is also ADOLPH HITLER'S birthday. And now we move to DONALD TRUMP.  

See what I did there?

WE ARE READY TO RUMMMMMMMMBLE!!! They have completed jury selection for DONALD TRUMP and his date with destiny begins soon. 12 jurors and 6 alternates will decide his fate but don't expect any jail time if he's convicted because he has no criminal record BUT the presiding judge does have a history of being harsh when sentencing white collar criminals. Each of the 34 counts carries the possibility of a 4 year prison sentence. We'll see.

I said it before and I'll say it again. No one is above the law. NO ONE. HUNTER BIDEN should go to jail for his B.S. and trump should follow if convicted.

An interesting wager that I am part of as follows: Will big mouth trump take the witness stand? "I absolutely will testify!" I say no chance although I would love to see him blistered under cross-examination and watch him lose his cool with the jury taking notes. If he does take the stand, two things become crystal clear. 1)Trump is very stupid and 2) he has the worst lawyer since...........  RUDY GUILIANI! Who will ever forget the black hair dye running down Rudy's face at his outdoor press conference behind the Four Seasons Landscaping Company? No one.

Court observers say that trump lost the color in his face when it was ruled that certain "prior bad acts" would be allowed in cross examination if he takes the stand. And the best part would be that he would be under oath and don't think for a minute that there wouldn't be a fact checker in the court room. I can see the neon sign flashing already......PERJURY! PERJURY! PERJURY! I hate to lose my bet but PUH-LEEEEEEEZE take the stand!!

And if he doesn't, I can hear him now. "I was going to take the stand but my very fine lawyers, and they are the very best, talked me out of it but I really wanted to.....and if he is found guilty, his retort will be  'that his lawyers made a big mistake in keeping me off the stand because I would have convinced the jury all by myself.'  Have you noticed the bags under his eyes? a tired, bitter man. 

I think spring has finally arrived. Upper 50's and low 60's in the day and 40's at night and hopefully graduating slow but steady into summer. And after typing this, the chill factor today is 30 degrees. oops.

Just catching up with the news but I see that Chicago has once again become a shooting gallery with 130 homicides thru April 13 which averages about 40 a month and the WARM WEATHER ISN'T HERE YET.!! Can't wait to see how the city handles the ghetto areas around the United Center when the Democratic Convention arrives in mid-August. I know how they handled it in 1996 BUT nowadays, everyone has a camera.

Back to trump for a moment. Is he ever happy about anything? Now Trump  is accusing NASDAQ of allowing stock manipulation because "there's no way my stock can keep falling like that because I have a very fine company." Never his fault. Sound familiar?

Trump Media has lost 50% of it's value in less than a month since it hit the open market.

I don't think I've ever listened to a TAYLOR SWIFT song but I'm going to do it today. She's 34 and a certified billionaire so she must be doing something right.

WILL TRENT is the most innovative show on television. It's in its second year but you have to watch this peculiar detective from season one to have any chance of understanding him.

It took them about 75 years but have you noticed the use of a split screen for almost all sports events so they can get the commercials in but you can still watch the event? Very important with the Paris Olympics coming up in July because commercials pay the electric bills and a whole lot more.

And speaking of Paris, the repair work for the fire that occurred  at the 850 year old NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL is moving right along but no visitors until the end of the year at the earliest. The fire was so intense that the spire collapsed and transferred the flames into the church area. Incredibly, the crown of thorns and stained glass windows survived the extreme temperatures plus the twin towers featured in THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME were not damaged. A miracle? discuss.

Bought a 7# prime rib Easter week and retail price was $14.49 per pound but I got lucky when I walked in during a one day sale and got it for 5.99 a pound, about 65% off the $104.00 normal price. I high fived myself and hurried to the car before they changed their mind and ruined my dinner.

Listened to 4 songs. I'll pass. She has a pleasant but not very powerful voice. Two octaves on her best day. I was 2 octaves when I sang in St. John's choir.

What do we do with the homeless people? another discussion.

DEXTER REED fires his weapon from inside a car and hits a police officer and the other officers fire their weapons until the offender is dead. Pretty basic action and reaction. But now they want to hang the officers out to dry because among other things, they fired their weapons too many times. WHAT? Are they supposed to just fire once and call it even? That maggot deserved to die and he did. Case closed.

I still don't understand the STUDENT LOAN RELIEF. Seriously, you sign for a loan and you know you have to repay it. Why should those loans be wiped out? I'm confused. But I've come up with an idea regarding both my car loan and my mortgage. I'm going to send a letter to my Senator TAMMY DUCKWORTH and ask that she arrange to absolve me of any financial responsibility because........well, just because I don't want to pay them anymore.

Here's an eye opener just for you. Did you know that if you are injured in a traffic accident in Illinois and the guy at fault has the minimum insurance coverage required by state law, the most you can collect is $25,000? And the average medical bill for an injured motorist is......$24,000! Doesn't leave much for pain & suffering or loss of wages, does it? And here's the real kick in the butt: The same coverage is in effect if you die in the accident. One person dead and his family gets 25 grand. Check the cost of a funeral lately? The state is working on raising the minimum coverages.

I always thought that BROOKFIELD ZOO had every kind of animal but they are receiving their first two koala bears in May, on a two year loan from Australia. Cute and cuddly looking, they are solitary animals and prefer to be left alone and they have VERY SHARP teeth and claws if you try to touch them. And basically, they just eat eucalyptus leaves or leaves from a tea tree, none of which you have at home. They are total herbivores so don't throw a baloney sandwich into the enclosure but rather, give it to me.

Finally, it's good to be home but Mexico still is a wonderful place to visit. Good fresh food, beautiful women and people that get the most out of just a little bit and the best part, there is absolutely no snow. LOL.

That's it for now. Enjoy the spring and stay out of Chicago.  Later dude, I have to unwind with MARY JANE and her friends GANGSTER, BOOM, WEED, POT, DOPE, GRASS HERB, AUNT MARY, SKUNK, GANJA, HASH & CHRONIC.  farrrrrrr out.





Friday, January 12, 2024

NOTHING BUT SPORTS

 CONGRATULATIONS to Jim Harbaugh and the University of Michigan for winning the National Championship on Monday against an over-rated and out classed Washington football team. Michigan/Georgia would have had football fans howling at the moon.

Speaking of Harbaugh, what's next for the coach who wins EVERYPLACE he coaches? The Bears are too stupid to hire him but I'm thinking Atlanta or the west coast is his next stop.

The Bears dump everyone EXCEPT the head coach who has ONE year left on his contract which means nobody is leaving their current job for Chicago and a one year employment blanket. The right move was to sweep everyone out the door and let a new coach bring in his own staff (there are currently 6 recently fired head coaches hanging around)....but that would have been the right way to do it and we know the Bears don't like doing that. They suck. And don't buy that crap that they were sooooooooo close to making the playoffs. IF ONLY WE HAD WON THAT GAME.....or this one.....or that one. Complete and total bullshit.

                                                            *******

Trade the 1st pick again for a boatload of draftees?

                                                             *******

Someone finally woke up the CHICAGO CUBS front office and they signed a high caliber pitcher from the Japanese League. That was their first off season acquisition and now they need to make about 4 more moves, including re-signing CODY BELLINGER. They should also work hard to sign BLAKE SNELL if they want to be serious about the post season.

                                                               *******

The WHITE SOX make me laugh because they keep signing players that I have never heard of but I do notice the contracts all seem to be one year with a club option for a second year and most of these guys will disappear around July 31 in trades for minor leaguers. Does that sound familiar to anyone in Chicago? It should because that's exactly what the Cubs did in 2012-13-14 to build up their farm system before putting a competitive team on the field. Of course, you have to lose a hundred games a year for a while.

                                                                *******

The BLACKHAWKS have suffered more injuries that any other NHL team but the worst one was the other night when rookie superstar CONNOR BEDARD'S jaw was broken and now he will miss two months. Either way, the Hawks are going to finish at the bottom of the league again but Bedard was putting people in the seats and he was very exciting to watch.

                                                              *******

Any football fan had to be surprised by at least one of the three coaching moves this week. NICK SABAN, the best college coach EVER calls it a day and walks away from Alabama. Then BILL BELICHICK gets fired after 24 years at New England with six Super Bowl rings in his pocket but three consecutive losing seasons. What have you done for me lately? 

And then there's PETE CARROLL, who should have been fired LONG AGO for his decision in SUPER BOWL XLIX when he decided, with 30 seconds left in the game,  to pass from the one yard line instead of handing the ball to MARSHAWN LYNCH aka THE BEAST. Pass is intercepted and New England wins the game. And to this day, that obnoxious prick still defends his call even though it's been voted 'worst coaching call in NFL history' several times in different forums. 

Most of these coaches will be recycled as they always are. Life goes on in the NFL.

                                                                     *******

CALEB WILLIAMS?

                                                                   *******

Believe it or not, the CHICAGO BULLS are on the verge of the playoffs! Until they trade ZACH LAVINE. But no matter what, COBY WHITE still has the best hair in the NBA.

                                                               *******

CONGRATS to the 'Danimal' DAN HAMPTON who was elected to the COLLEGE FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME out of the University of Arkansas. He played 12 years with the Bears and is already in the NFL HALL OF FAME. He was fun to watch.

                                                              *******

DRAKE MAYE?

                                                              *******

This should be interesting. Comedian BILL MURRAY, MIKE VEECK and his son WILLIAM "NIGHT TRAIN" VEECK have bought controlling interest in THE JOLIET SLAMMERS of the independent Frontier League. Can't wait to see the promotions.

                                                            *******

I was reminded that I forgot a very big name in Chicago sports when I listed my R.I.P. section in a recent blog and I can't believe I missed it.


BOBBY HULL electrified Chicago hockey fans for 15 years and made the old Chicago Stadium come to life when he would make an end to end rink rush which would finish with one of his 100 mph slap shots. As a person who saw many of those games, he was one of a kind. Hull was 84 when he passed away in January. 

God bless and rest easy #9.

                                                                *******

And that does it for now, amigos. I'll be heading south shortly to get the hell away from this crappy weather. Stay safe and warm.