Wednesday, October 26, 2022

A CHILDHOOD STORY OF CHASING A KILLER ELEPHANT

I heard a story about the zoo today and it jogged my memory so I thought I would share this story with you.

 When I was a kid and being held prisoner at a catholic grade school, the DVIT (darth vaders in training.... a.k.a. nuns)  saw fit to let us take a field trip to Brookfield Zoo, which in my day was quite a treat because it gave us a full day to be loose from the stares of the evil empire because the DVIT let us run free among the acreage without supervision, as long as we all gathered for noon lunch at concession area #3 and then made the 2:00 p.m. bus back to the jail.  

The big adventure of the day for me was to see ZIGGY THE KILLER ELEPHANT, the beast who had killed several dozen trainers, according to prison rumors and gossip. Now Ziggy had actually never killed anyone but he was 6 tons of ornery who had attacked ONE trainer in 1941 which resulted in him being chained in his stall for over 30 years and never allowed to go outside but I didn't know those facts and I desperately wanted to see this huge rogue with a bad attitude.

A handful of us made our way to the elephant house and made our way to Ziggy's stall which had very high walls which made it tough for a ten year old to see him but my class mate named Gary owed me a nickel from lunch and I told him we would be even-steven if I could get on his shoulders. Mission accomplished and debt cancelled for Gary.

But the damn elephant had turned his back to the visitors about five years earlier and all I could see was his huge rear end but(t) (see what I did there?) I wanted to look this homicidal maniac right in the eye. 

Never one to be unprepared, I ignored the "DO NOT FEED THE ELEPHANT" sign and reached into the pockets of my spring jacket and while wavering on Gary's shoulders pitched a peanut to Ziggy's front side and it landed just to the left of his trunk. Nothing. So I tried the other side and it hit him on the trunk. No response. 

Now Gary starts to shake and complain so I had no choice but to go for broke and throw my remaining 3 peanuts all at once and guess what? Ziggy actually noticed the peanuts and started feeding himself in that regal way that elephants do, trunk to mouth. I was delighted to the point I was floating on air but it was actually the zoo keeper who was lifting me off Gary's shoulders and taking me into custody.

"You stupid, kid? Can't you read? What group are you here with?" To save myself from the zoo electric chair, I immediately shifted into LIAR MODE and told him "The Lutheran church, sir" figuring he would let me go because the nuns had convinced all of us that all non-Catholics were future convicts and going to hell and I figured with that information, it would be useless to prosecute me because damnation was already in my future. WRONG. 

I get dragged to a small office and eventually I break under the hot lights and confess my affiliation and how does this mutt handle it? Does he let me walk away with a stern warning or a kick in the ass? OH NO............. OVER THE P.A. SYSTEM, he announces "would the supervisor of the St. John's group come to the security office?" 

I avoided the gas chamber but my sentence was....stay after school for a week and wash all the chalk boards and 4 Saturdays cleaning the school. Gary? He escaped like Butch Cassidy and I told the nun that the shoulders belonged to a Jewish kid that I just met that day. Her eyes rolled back into her head and despite her anger with me, she began praying for me for associating with a Jew..

Why am I telling you all this? While researching Ziggy, I found he was finally released to an outside enclosure in 1971 and died just a few years later. Where did they bury him? Nowhere! He is stored at the Field Museum IN PIECES in a closet because they don't have room to display him. It was bad enough that he was in solitary for 30 years but now he is forever stored in a dark closet. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

Hell, if they would ship him up to Grayslake in one piece, I'd put him under a canopy in my back yard. No charge.

OK, that's all I have for now but I hope you enjoyed my little adventure at the zoo, Stay safe and stay out of Chicago.

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