first of all, let me apologize to all those cub fans who were upset when i predicted they would lose a hundred games in 2012. i was wrong. after watching them for three weeks, i have revised my prediction to 108 losses because this team absolutely sucks and has almost no workable parts but all is not lost for the north side titanic passengers because i have a plan just for you.
the record for the most losses in a single season is a hundred and twenty and while that might be a stretch even for this group of trash, at least it would give cub fans something to root for because otherwise, your season is already over.
THINK ABOUT IT! you sit with a group of friends and cheer every STARLIN CASTRO error (7 already with a possibility of 55 or more!), high five every blown save opportunity by CARLOS MARMOL or other members of the worst bullpen in baseball and chest bump when yet another player goes on the disabled list.
you raise a flag with the letter 'L' after each loss, keep a numeric 'countdown' scoreboard in your man cave and rip another page off with each loss as the cubs rampage towards the record for futility. (ripping the page into little pieces and throwing it up in the air yelling 'whoopee!' is recommended but optional)
AND HERE'S THE BEST PART: it's almost impossible in today's game to lose a hundred and twenty so the cubs will come up short AGAIN and leave all of their fans frustrated and disappointed, which is EXACTLY what you're used to on a yearly basis. cub fans feed on the bile of defeat so the plan is perfect! you cheer them on all year and then the inevitable happens in september and they fall just short of their goal and your spirit is crushed.....again. too good to be true. enjoy the season.
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