some of my favorite women

as you know, most women amuse me on a regular basis but here are some of my favorites to date:

OMA NELSO was recently denied parole for the second time from her life sentence in california. nelson killed her husband in 1991 and then chopped him into little pieces. big deal, right? the kicker was that she then cooked his body parts into her thanksgiving dinner and served it to a dozen friends for the holiday. and they refused her parole? why?

in florida, 70 year old HATTIE BRANCH resigned her bus driving job after beating the crap out of a 14 year old punk who was bullying everyone on the bus since the start of the school year. "i ain't takin' that from nobody, let alone a 14 year old acting like a nigger," said the african-american branch, "and maybe now he'll show some respect to the new driver." branch, of course, was arrested when the punk complained to the school principal. i say GOOD FOR YOU HATTIE! at this point, her legal defense fund had received over $30,000 in contributions.

a 49 year old school teacher from new jersey, VIKI KNOX, will test the legal waters of free speech following her administrative suspension for an opinion she posted on facebook. knox stated that homosexuality "breeds like cancer" and should be eliminated if possible. the school immediately suspended her pending a termination hearing. the district superintendent said, "she has the right to say anything she wants but she doesn't have the right to keep her job after saying it." place your bets now.

for all of you who have had any experience with divorce thru yourself or friends: LAURA WALSH says state represenative JOE WALSH owes her $117,000 in back child support. joe says he had a 'verbal agreement' with his ex-wife to not pay child support since 2007 because his income had dropped. excuse me? walsh has a master's degree from the university of chicago and i'm pretty sure he knows that it takes a court order to change a divorce decree. as far as having no money, walsh lent his own campaign $35,000 last summer and took a girlfriend to europe on vacation. laura has custody of their three kids and states she has 'no clue' about any agreement regarding child support. pay up joe.

thirty year old CHRISTOPHER MARQUEZ was arrested in bolingbrook for theft related charges as he was caught stealing copper from a storage yard. usually a simple story. but freakin mom was also arrested as police caught ELIZABETH MARQUEZ waiting outside the fence with the trunk open and the car running. p.s.....it was 6 p.m. ......on a sunny day. the apples don't fall far from the tree.

finally, watch for BARACK OBAMA to name HILLARY CLINTON as his running mate as JOE BIDEN retires for 'health reasons'. obama's numbers are dismal in the polls and although he would have a coin flip election with republican MITT ROMNEY, putting the anti-christ on the ballot with him will seal the deal for the democrats. you heard it here first.