CUBS WELCOME NEW OWNER BY SAYING GOOD-BYE TO 2009

i really don't know what to say. they were the odds-on favorites to walk away with the central division and then they make a GREAT trade but ONCE AGAIN, the only thing this jerkoff team is going to win is 'underachievers of the year.'

tom ricketts has purchased a stagnant and mediocre team that over the last two weeks has taken itself out of the running for both the central division AND the wild card by simply going thru the motions while boo-boo lou struggles to stay aware and awake thru the 5th inning. mr. ricketts, i wish you well because anyone who spends 845 million for this steaming piece of crap is going to need a little luck. a few suggestions:

1) obviously, money is not an issue at the current time and it will help your sanity immensely by ridding the ball club of ALFONSO 'don't try and coach me' SORIANO, MILTON ' i'll do it my way, thank you' BRADLEY, KOSUKE 'i never saw a pitch i didn't like' FUKEDOME, CARLOS 'why would i want to get in shape' ZAMBRANO and LOU 'wake me when it's over' PINIELLA. yes, it will cost a lot but you have no chance of winning with these morons on the roster. then have JIM HENDRY drive lou to the airport and join him down at the florida retirement home. the last productive moves he made were in 2003 when he hoodwinked the pirates but he has been in suspended animation since that year.

2) clean up that urine smelling ball park. update the bathrooms and get some decent food in the park. while a supposed landmark, it truly is an embarrassment to organized sports and the city of chicago. or better yet, just knock it down and build a new stadium out in the suburbs. cubs fans have nothing better to do than wait anyhow. it's their strong point.

3) back up the truck and start from scratch. get rid of the dope smoking overweight catcher, the 4-eyed 'closer' from florida, the set-up man whose strong point is making faces on the mound and the third basemen who NEVER shows up when you need him. this will purge urine park of 8 malcontents and 2 inept administrators and give you a chance to bring up the jake foxes and sam fulds of the world who play because they love the game. you may not win the big one with them but what have you won to date anyway? at least the fans would get their money's worth and you would have players that give 100%....everyday. what a concept.

now cub fans, it's time to turn your attention to the bears and jay cutler. that team has a chance to make some noise and stay in contention the entire year. so put away your turtleneck dickeys and your obnoxious 'W' flags and let mr. ricketts clean house as he should. R.I.P. 2009