A BUNCH OF STUFF

Hello again everybody! After my 'summer of surgeries' I can finally use the arm enough to send you a blog but it won't be very long. Hope everyone had a good summer and you're enjoying the extended warmth. HERE WE GO!

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Sub-human piece of garbage ALEX JONES, the radio talk show host from Texas, was ordered some months ago to pay 1.5 BILLION dollars in damages for telling his listening audience the the 2012 SANDY HOOK MASSACRE was fake and the deaths of 26 first and second graders was 'staged and a complete hoax" and no one died. It was simply manufactured by democrats to bolster their movement for gun control.

Well, the parents of the victims disagreed as did the judge when he got whacked at trial but Jones continued on air and told his listeners "do they actually think they're getting a penny from me? Not a chance!" ON THE AIR!!

The other shoe fell this week when the judge ordered his company FREE SPEECH SYSTEMS to be auctioned off  "AND I MEAN EVERY ASSET gets auctioned, including pens, pencils, tables, chairs and the building itself." The auction is November 13th. And even filing bankruptcy won't save him this time because the assets are frozen and in the custody of the court.

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And speaking of morons....does anyone else raise your eyebrows when J.D. VANCE, the guy who started the absolutely UNFOUNDED RUMOR that " illegal Haitian immigrants were eating pets" in Springfield, Ohio says that he will 'continue to lie to the public' if that's what it takes to draw attention to other problems. WHAT???? Now there's the guy you want to be second in command and the direct ascendant to the presidency. Lord, save us.

Everyone knows that I'm a moderate republican but I cannot, in good faith, support this year's ticket. I know many good republicans but this current group is not among them.

BTW, the Haitians, who are all here legally with work visas, have filed suit against Vance and his boss for the slanderous lies. I don't know if anything will come from their action but good for them for standing up to bullies.

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DID YOU KNOW THAT ASSISTED SUICIDE is legal in Switzerland? Me neither.

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Speaking of the good Lord, he better protect those people in the southeast as HURRICANE HELENE wreaks death and destruction on Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and Tennessee with the death count at 30 and expected to rise. Godspeed.

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JOE BIDEN made the absolute correct decision when he dropped out of the race. Infrequent appearances, glassy eyed staring and slurred words amplify his decision and I hope he can enjoy the remainder of his life in peace and surrounded by family. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, JOE BIDEN!

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So we end on a happy note, here's a recipe I invented this summer while stuck at home. Boneless chicken breasts in a crockpot with the following ingredients for a slow cook.

 Slice the breasts in two places about halfway thru the breasts but don't cut them in half. Then place them in the crock. No more than 5 breasts. 

4 CUPS SWEET BABY RAYS ORIGINAL

ADD TWO CUPS OF OPEN PIT BARBECUE SAUCE 

ADD ONE HALF CUP OF MOLASSES

CHOP FINE TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC

ONE CUP OF WATER

mix all together and pour into the crockpot and make sure it totally covers the chicken. If it doesn't, then just add more sweet baby rays.

Depending on your crockpot, 8-10 hours on LOW. ENJOY!

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We say goodbye to JAMES EARL JONES, the actor who was given a voice from God himself. Everything from STAR WARS TO FIELD OF DREAMS TO "WE HAVE THE MEATS!!" We will all miss his voice.

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Ok, it took me a while but I got thru it. Enjoy the weekend!

REQUEIM FOR CHICAGO BASEBALL

 I waited as long as I could but it's finally over and now we bury both teams for the 2024 season.

Let's deal with the worst team first because their season ended in April with a 3-20 start and some would say it was over before they left spring training and I don't think a lot of baseball fans would disagree with that line of thinking.

THE WHITE SOX ARE THE WORST TEAM I HAVE EVER SEEN and I've watched baseball for many, many summers and seen a lot of garbage baseball on both sides of town but this is the worst, plain and simple. A brief look at the team.

Thru Tuesday night the highest batting average on the team is .243, followed by .241, .231 and .228. Then we freefall with 5 players batting in the teens and 4 more batting .199 or less. Team batting average of .219.

 Please take your Tylenol now because the shaking of your head will only get worse as you read on.

Pitching has ALWAYS been a strong point on the south side but the starting 5 pitchers have records of 6-9, 2-6, 2-11, 1-6 and 0-6 and the current run difference between the Sox and their opponents is an incredible 288 runs, which means the bad guys are averaging almost 3 runs more than the Sox EVERY GAME.

One more loss and they will be eliminated from the pennant race with 6 weeks left to play!! But they recently fired the ASSISTANT batting coach so things should turn around pretty soon.😠

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And now to the north side where things aren't much prettier. Cub fans all suffered through that 6 week offensive drought prior to the All Star break (.236 team average) which pushed them into the cellar of their division but to be perfectly honest, since then the team has played much better baseball all the way around but when you're chasing 6 teams for the final wild card spot, their playoff possibilities have faded like a dim lightbulb.

The Cubs have 41 games left and they trail both Arizona and San Diego by 8 games already so realistically, that leaves the only the third and final wild card spot up for grabs but I am going to give Cub fans some hope. Read on.

Of the 41 remaining games, they play the Yankees at home and the Dodgers and Phillies on the road plus the remaining  game tonight against Cleveland. Now common sense tells you the best the Cubs can hope for is one win per series so tonight would be 1 and then add 3 more and they finish 4-8 against really good teams. So Dan, where is our hope?

After you finish getting your ass kicked by the premium teams, then you play 31 games against crappy teams just like yourself! Just imagine the possibility of success by playing Pittsburgh 6 times and Washington 7 times but wait, THERE'S MORE!! 

31 games against teams with losing records and 5 of those teams ARE ALL IN LAST PLACE!!! And none of them have better records than the Cubs!

Are the Cubs the "most disappointing team in 2024" as awarded by the MLB channel or are they just late starters and good finishers? The next 6 weeks will give you that answer.

I have reserved 2 spots in the baseball cemetery.

Catch you later.

ODDS & ENDS

 My earlier concern for the BALLY'S CASINO in Chicago disappeared as they got a new partner who chipped in 800 MILLION to keep the ball rolling. A 34 story, 500 room hotel which includes a 3,000 seat performing arts center and a 2 acre public park. Inside the casino will be 3,300 slot machines and 173 table games along with 6 restaurants plus a food hall. Now let's see if they can get it done.

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Another in a long list of irritating commercials....Noticeably overweight people with type II diabetes are happy as pigs in mud as they sing the JARDIANCE song and dance thru public parks, the town square and the office at work. Stop yourself right now. 

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In Paris, they have announced that NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL should be fully repaired and opening for business in December. The repairs cost $760 MILLION DOLLARS and all of the money came from private donations around the world with 340,000 donors from 150 countries having donated almost a billion dollars to cover the costs. The church burned in April of 2019.

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BRUMBY & WILLUM, the two koalas have arrived from China and are relaxing in a decompression area until they are ready to go out on their own to meet other animals at the zoo. They never have to worry about running out of food because eucalyptus leaves are fatal to most animals. They also relax with bamboo shoots.

Did you know that Brookfield Zoo no longer has any elephants? Not since 2010.

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My lightning bugs show up around 8:45 and they're gone by 9:30. Why? I think I remember chasing them for hours as a kid until mom & dad yelled that we were stirring up the mosquitos. Who doesn't like lightning bugs? But only 45 minutes?

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Proud to announce I'm a brand new uncle to two baby mourning doves who were born over the weekend. Mom lets me look at the newbies from the other side of the gazebo screen as she feeds them 'pigeon milk' which is generated in her stomach. The babies will only be here for two weeks before they leave the nest but then they stay with mom for another week or so hiding in a bush before they are totally on their own and then their diet consists of seeds. If you have a bird feeder in your yard, the doves gather on the ground underneath the feeder and collect all the spilled seed. They also eat weed seeds as those plants mature and an occasional berry.

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Ok, let's finish up with two weird ones. Did you know that a snake can still bite you even after you chopped off it's head?!?! True story from Texas. Guy sees a EASTERN DIAMONBACK RATTLER in his yard and beheads it with a machete. Two hours later, he picks up the head to show his wife and BAM!  HERPOLOGISTS report that they have reflex muscles that still activate more than two hours after being killed and poisonous snakes (like the eastern diamondback) still have venom in their fangs. Guy spent two days in intensive care but he's going to be ok.

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And finally, Texas, Alabama and Oklahoma now allow ammunition to be sold from vending machines. You slide your ID into the machine and it uses facial recognition to verify your identity and you're good to go. The one in Tulsa offered .38 caliber, 9 mm, .45 and a variety of rifle/shotgun ammunition. Just insert your credit card, press a button and the box falls to the bottom just like a candy bar. Scary fact....There is no federal regulation preventing vending machine sales of ammunition. YIKES!

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Ok, that's it for now. Stay cool.

HALF WAY HOME!

 Well, we've reached the imaginary half way point in the baseball season with the all-star break so it's time to hand out the report card for Chicago baseball.

Worst baseball team....Sox. We knew they would be bad but this bad?

Most disappointing team......Cubs were the co-favorite to win the division. Baseball writers recently gave them this award and I agree.

Guys not earning their LARGE paychecks..... DANSBY SWANSON...ANDREW BENINTENDI

South Side Guys who should not be on a major league roster......JASON LEASURE...MIKE SOROKA...MARTIN MALDONADO......DANNY MENDICK....ELOI JIMENEZ

North Side Garbage.....KYLE HENDRICKS....HAYDEN WESNEWSKI....TOMAS NIDO...MIGUEL AMAYA...MILES MASTROBUONI....CHRISTOPHER MOREL...PATRICK WISDOM

Sox most like to be traded this month....MICHAEL KOPECH...TOMMY PHAM...ELOI JIMENEZ...ANDREW VAUGHAN...LUIS ROBERT...PAUL DEJONG (maybe 20 more)

Cubs to be traded in July.....None because they still believe they're a playoff team😮😮

Worst manager....PEDRO wins hands down. Very very bad.

Best non-pitcher on the Sox...I guess it would be LUIS ROBERT if he can stay healthy.

Best non-pitcher on the Cubs...it's a tie. MICHAEL BUSCH and SEIYA SUZUKI.

Best park...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best food...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best Parking....GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best Tailgating...GUARANTEED RATE FIELD

Best pre-game drinking spots...Wrigleyville

Best post-game drinking spots...Wrigleyville  

Best place to buy drugs...Wrigleyville

Best place to buy drugs inside the park...Bleachers in Wrigley  

Not much more to say. One team is rebuilding and has ZERO chance of competing for the next few years and the other has continued the freefall that started in 2018 with key players getting long in the tooth. KYLE HENDRICKS, SHOTA IMANAGA, MARK LEITER, HECTOR NERIS,DREW SMYLY, JAMESON TALLION, TOMAS NIDO, DAVID BOTE, DANSBY SWANSON and PATRICK WISDOM are all over 30 and that ain't good.

I guess we can all keep our fingers crossed for the Bears. Later.

HOLIDAY MADNESS!

WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE! No, you silly goose, it's not the Cubs or the White Sox because they're both in last place and it's not the Bulls or the Blackhawks because this is their off season so let's move to a different area.

CHICAGO IS NUMBER ONE with more shootings and homicides over the holiday weekend than any other city in the entire United States!! How about that?!?! ONE HUNDRED AND NINE SHOOTINGS!! C'mon, admit it, that's a tremendous amount of perforated human flesh in just a matter of a few days and NINETEEN of those were shipped to Boot Hill. 

The jungles on the west and south sides erupted, resulting in 96% of the shootings as the ghetto rats tried out all their new fire power.....and it wasn't even hot this weekend!

Now remember that Mayor Big Teeth (MBT) has constantly stated 'that we don't need more enforcement, we just need more programs for the inner city youth.' WRONG.

Back to basics......MBT says it's a community problem and he's partially correct but to be more specific, it's a BLACK COMMUNITY PROBLEM. Nobody can deny it and there's no argument. In the ghetto neighborhoods, the criminals that you deal with have a dropout rate of OVER 80% and they constantly fall back on the old adage of 'survival of the fittest' which today means whoever can shoot fastest and straightest...wins. Simple as that. 

And NOW, after the weekend carnage, the mayor wants people arrested and held accountable. WHAT?? No more holding hands and singing Kumbaya?

The problem CAN'T be fixed. And it doesn't matter if you provide summer jobs, after school basketball programs, reparations or more teachers and more police because the ghetto rats only know one way of living and that's drugs, guns and violence resulting in either death or long terms spent in prison and trust me, if they are fortunate enough to get paroled early, they're not coming out with a master's degree in English Literature or any other formal education because you have to be able to read and write to advance. 

PLEASE stay out of Chicago and keep your family & friends safe.

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Only in Chicago......How the hell does a casino deal get screwed up? Bally's may be bailing out of a permanent casino site because of financial problems. Incredible.  And it doesn't help that MBT doesn't like the idea even though it would provide much needed tax money for the city. Probably too busy working on his facials and manicures.

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BIG JOE says 'He ain't going anywhere' and will stay in the presidential race, even after the Thursday Night Massacre two weeks ago. I admire his spirit but why do I keep thinking of the Titanic every time I see his face?

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RIP to actor DONALD SUTHERLAND who passed several weeks ago at the age of 89. Sutherland had over 200 credited roles in both tv and movies, with featured roles in ANIMAL HOUSE, MASH, KLUTE, THE DIRTY DOZEN and the HUNGER GAMES.

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Congratulations to Chicagoan Patrick Bertoletti who won the annual NATHAN'S HOT DOG EATING CONTEST on the 4th of July in Coney Island by downing 58 dogs and buns in just 10 minutes. He also has several other records like 275 jalapenos in 8 minutes, 10.6 pounds of corned beef in 10 minutes and 21 pounds of grits in 10  minutes. YIKES!

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You still have a chance to see the best local fireworks show this coming Sunday night at Peterson Park in Mchenry. They have a carnival all day long and end it with the big show which can be viewed for free from the LARGE parking lot which is actually a grass field. Bring a cooler and lawn chairs and relax after the show for about 45 minutes while they empty out.

It's route 120 to route 31 and north about 1/2 mile and then west on McCollum Lake Rd. for another 1/2 mile to Petersen Park. You won't be disappointed.

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Just a reminder that the opening ceremonies for the Summer Olympics start Friday, July 26 and run thru August 11.

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I'm a little confused. I totally understand commercials inviting you to visit Las Vegas, New York, Italy, Chicago, New Orleans, London and other famous places but ...NEBRASKA? Now I'm sure there are plenty of friendly farmers willing to show off their corn crop and large haystacks along with a massive amount of soybeans but for a vacation? I have seen endless commercials and included with this past Sunday's Tribune was a catalog that weighed about 3 pounds and it was all Nebraska from front to back. Go figure.

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TSA has seized just over 3,000 weapons at national airports in the first 6 months of the year and 38 of those were discovered at O'Hare and 27 at Midway. Will people never learn?

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Think hacking only happens to mega corporations? Today I went for a post-op exam at Illinois Bone & Joint and their computers had been frozen from Eastern Europe and the hackers were demanding ransom to release the freeze. I don't know the outcome but that's a little scary to me.

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Finally, ZERO CICADAS set foot or wing upon my property. Fake news.

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That's it for now. Super hot weather returns later in the week so stay hydrated and better yet, stay inside. And stay out of Chicago. Later, dude.

ALL SORTS OF STUFF

 Hear Ye, Hear Ye, court is now in session with the sometimes honorable DANIEL VEIT presiding with the guilty parties being HUNTER BIDEN, DONALD TRUMP and CHICAGO ALDERMAN ED BURKE.

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Mr. Biden, I hereby sentence you to 5 years in the Atlanta Federal Penitentiary but your sentence is suspended with the following conditions.

5 years supervised probation

90 days home confinement with ankle monitoring

Scheduled and non-scheduled drug testing with refusal counting as a failed test

Continued substance abuse counseling for 3 years

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Mr. Trump, I hereby sentence you to:

5 years supervised probation

90 days home confinement with ankle monitoring

Successful completion of anger management counseling

As a convicted felon, you must surrender your gun license to the state of New York

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And now let's move on to convicted Chicago alderman EDWARD BURKE, 80, who was convicted of racketeering, bribery and eleven other counts of malfeasance.

I hereby sentence you to 46 months in the federal facility in Minnesota, a minimum security facility for non-violent offenders. You cannot do all the things that you did wrong and take advantage of business people trying to make a living and expect to walk away scot free, even at the age of 80.

See how easy that was? Drop the gavel and let's move on!

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The city of Chicago is trying to make it safer with an 8 o'clock curfew for "yutes" under the age of 18 but Mayor Big Teeth (MBT) doesn't like the idea because "these children are just misunderstood and just need more parks to play in during the summer. Don't forget that when you build these parks, make sure you include storage lockers so these sweet kids have a place to store their weapons while playing on the swings.

 He also doesn't like the idea that lobbyists wouldn't be able to contribute to his campaign chest so he had that proposal tabled for the time being.  Hmmmmmmmmm

MBT has a shaved sides haircut and a scraggly ass beard but it was revealed this week that he has spent............wait for it...........THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on hair styling and skin care products..........IN ONE FREAKING YEAR!  30K!!!! And that man ain't winning no beauty contest any time soon.

So I did a little figuring with my manicure and haircut costs and it comes to a yearly expenditure of $630 which means it will take me FIFTY YEARS to spend that much money! And I dare say I'm a damn sight better looking than MBT. Incredible.

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On a lighter note, congratulations to FRANCISCA MORALES who turned 107 years old on June 6. A native of Puerto Rico, she moved to Chicago in 1970 and settled in Humboldt Park where she still resides. She was born during WW I and WOODROW WILSON was president of the country. Good for you, PAQUITA!

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Every time I read anything about SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS, I feel like I have to take a shower to wash off the slime. Just now reporting thousands of dollars in 'freebies' from Republican megadonor HARLAN CROW over the years after initially reporting ONE day of travel, ONE night in a hotel, etc. but now it comes out that Clarence and company had unlimited use of Crow's private jet and also his super yacht for years. Oops, I forgot about that stuff. Sorry.

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Again, I stomp my feet and ask again for age limits for the supreme court rather than lifetime appointments. Let's make it 75 which means that Thomas would be saying good-bye this year and Alito and his flying flags would be adios in 2026. New blood and fresh blood, I don't  care what side of the political fence they're on.

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Things are warming up in the cesspool! The body count is in since Memorial Day weekend and in the last three weekends, the collective numbers are 107 shot and 22 homicides. And our night time weather has sucked until this week. But 90 degrees has arrived sooooooooooooooooooooooooo here we go!

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Happy to report the lightning bugs arrived Tuesday night, a sure sign the weather is heating up. Always nice to see those little critters dancing across the yard just after sunset.

NO CICADAS. FAKE NEWS! A SHAM!

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Ok, I'm tired of typing. Enjoy the warmer weather and HAPPY FATHER'S DAY but do not celebrate in Chicago. Stay safe! Adios

            

Happy June to everyone! Odds & Ends time so here goes.

You come back from a trip and empty your suitcase. You check the secret pockets to make sure you got everything and didn't leave a pair of dirty socks to fester over the coming months. When you're satisfied that the suitcase is totally empty, you might even give it a final shake before you put it away. Pretty standard procedure for all of us.

Now please tell me how in hell that not one, not two, not three but SIX DIFFERENT AMERICANS arrived in Turks & Caicos with freaking loose ammunition in their suitcase and they all take the position that "I didn't know it was in there."    ???!!!??? WHAT???? and BRITTANY GRENIER didn't know that she had packed hashish oil for her trip to Russia. Right. She should have served the 9 years but instead we trade her lying ass for a dangerous arms dealer. So irritating.

 Now the penalty for bringing in ammunition to Turks & Caicos is 12 years in prison but the first guy was detained ONE HUNDRED DAYS before paying $6700 in fines for having TWENTY LOOSE ROUNDS. (He didn't see or hear that when packing??--BULLSHIT) and escorted to the next plane out of the country. The second EINSTEIN was fined $9,000 for 2 loose rounds, 3 weeks in jail and shipped out. Others had 2, 4 and 7 loose rounds rattling around and their day in court is pending. All must remain on the island until that day.

In closing my thought in the opening paragraph, when I get ready to head out for my next trip, the suitcase is lifted onto my bed. Why do I do that? So I can hear LOOSE AMMUNITION rolling around and remove it. Actually, it's so I can open the suitcase wide and see what's what and I GUARANTEE YOU that I would notice ANYTHING before I started packing.  Total B.S. on the Americans.

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As previously reported, there are zero CICADAS and also no LIGHTNING BUGS. No Y2K and no professional baseball team on the south side of the city. Now that last one hurt me a lot.

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Country star JELLY ROLL claims he's having trouble booking an international tour because he's a convicted felon. Before you start feeling sorry for Mr. Roll, be advised he's been arrested FORTY times starting at the age of 14 and eventually did time for armed robbery and served 7 years probation. 'Reap what ye sow' comes immediately to mind. 

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CLAUDIA SHIENBAUM, 61, became the first woman to be elected as president of Mexico and has a doctorate in energy engineering and is a strong advocate for clean energy and solar power, of which there is plenty available in her country. She is also the first person with a Jewish background to lead the overwhelmingly Catholic country and is also a strong supporter of women's rights and legalized abortion. But absolutely no mention of the drug cartels. She assumes the position September 30.

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Ah, the catholic church strikes again.  The Augustinian order has finally released their list of PEDOPHILE PRIESTS and there was just FIVE names on the list. As Mike Ditka likes to say, "Who you crappin?" 

Conveniently left off the list was RICHARD McGRATH who was caught looking at nude pictures of boys while sitting in the stands at a Providence high school wrestling match wrestling match and that discovery was followed by a former student's accusation of abuse and a settlement of  two million dollars but why isn't he on the list? 

"We presented the allegations to the INDEPENDENT REVIEW BOARD and they decided that the allegations were not established but the lawsuit was settled without any admission of guilt. What a scam. 

You know how I always tell you to be safe and stay out of Chicago? Well, keep your sons safe and enroll them in public schools and don't EVER leave them alone with a priest. 

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Speaking of the cesspool, thru May 31, there has been 204 murders which is a decrease of 16% but we've had a cool rainy spring and the maggots and thugs and other members don't get serious until the 80's & 90's roll around. 

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Yesterday was the 80th anniversary of D-DAY when the momentum of WW II changed dramatically thanks to those brave men and women. We should all take a moment and cover our heart and say a silent thank you.

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ENJOY THIS MAGNIFICENT WEATHER for the next week because before you know it, we'll be walking around with hand fans and looking for shade. Be safe and stay out of Chicago. Enjoy the beautiful weekend!