THE DONALD TRUMP LIE FEST

If you're a right wing radical TRUMPTY-DUMPTY who supports him no matter what, i don't think you have the stomach for this column and would advise just deleting this because you ain't gonna like whats coming and it will ruin your day.  don't say you weren't warned.

I can't help it. This guy is driving me crazy and channel surfing doesn't help because every channel reports more erratic behavior of this idiot and now even FOX NEWS has turned against him by telling the truth and little donnie is holding his breath and stomping his feet, telling fox to shove it because he's looking for another news outlet to watch.

Here we go again! D.C.'s answer to the MAD HATTER has finally made even the doctors and his good friends at FOX NEWS blink in amazement when his orangeness announced to the world that he has been taking chloroquine since his valet tested positive for covid-19 two weeks ago. Despite NUMEROUS warnings from both sides of the political fence, little donnie is taking the drug "in case i do get infected." The doctors also say that the drug has no effect as a prophylaxis, which is a fancy word for a preventative measure, like brushing your teeth every day to stop tooth decay. NONE. ZERO. NADA.  GUVNO.

In addition, while chloroquine does helps people with malaria, lupus and severe cases of rheumatoid arthritis, IT DOES NOTHING against this virus and can kill people with compromised systems and prior heart history, of which trump has both.

Oh no, you say, that's not possible because my president is healthy and i know this because he told me himself and he never lies!! (it's ok, i didn't get hurt falling off my chair) THE FACT OF THE MATTER is that he has a history of heart issues (minor but still a history) AND his current blood pressure is 158/91 while weighing 290 pounds, which amounts to a compromised health system.

chloroquine is a total waste of time unless you enjoy russian roulette, which apparently the round one does. But the problem is that it's another example of false and misleading information coming from the white house but guess who he makes happy with these proclamations? the drug manufacturers!!! 

 the amount of chloroquine prescribed has increased by a multiple of 46!

But would the president lie about an important matter? or any matter? 

Let me please remind you of some other "facts" coming from his mouth: Off the top of my head, MY CURRENT TOP 20 BLATANT LIES BY DONALD TRUMP: (some require no comments)

drink a cup of bleach to kill the virus

mexico will pay for the wall (not a single peso yet)

the hurricane is going to hit alabama (doctored weather map)

windmills cause cancer

Kim Jong Un is our good friend and said he will stop his nuclear program

china is paying every penny of the tarrifs

inject lysol to kill the virus

the whistle blower has the facts wrong and i know the truth (and the truth is?) 

windmills make your real estate values fall 

immediate withdrawal of ALL soldiers in Syria  (still 1,000)

modern dishwashers require pressing 10 buttons just to start it

the same dishwashers use more energy and water

i had the most electoral votes since ronald reagan (wayyyyyyyy wrong)

accused CNN of cutting off bernie sanders when he used the term 'fake news' to describe the news channel (never happened)

said the national murder rate was the highest in 47 years (just the opposite)

terrorist attacks are not being reported by the media (in this day & age????)

philadelphia's murder rate is 'out of control' (declined each of the last 10 years)

i had the most people ever at my inauguration (photos proved him wrong by a lot--not even close)

i watched muslims dancing in the streets of NY on 911. (a bald faced racist lie)

                                                *************************

And this mutt runs the country. what a scary thought. 

PLEASE remember all of this on November 3rd.

stay safe and DRY!

more thoughts while laying on the couch

While laying on the couch.......

So i see where the dumb asses in the white house have started wearing masks AFTER the infections started in the inner sanctum but i see where the king of the world still refuses to wear one. is he afraid that he'll mess his hair?

If you want to talk about bad optics, check out the pissing match between the players and the owners in MLB as they argue over income during the abbreviated season. It's very hard for anyone to have sympathy for players when the MINIMUM SALARY is $563,000 per year and the AVERAGE is 4.5 million BUT the owners have apparently reneged on a simple plan to pay 50% of salaries for the proposed 1/2 season and now want the players to get paid based on revenue sharing.

Business is business and i get it BUT millions of people are out of work, hundreds are dying every day and my sympathy light for professional athletes burned out some time ago. so either fix it right now or risk losing your base like you did in 1994 and then everyone lost money for five years.

Godspeed to a man who made me laugh every time i saw him on seinfeld or the king of queens, JERRY STILLER. when he would go into one of his old man rants, he would make me laugh out loud almost every time.

• 

Another head shaker: LARRY ENGLISH is the man who owns the home under construction that AHMAUD ARBERY checked out shortly before being murdered by the two rednecks in georgia (yeah, i said it). Through his attorney, english told the georgia state police that arbery was captured on security video but that all he did was look for a very short time before leaving and that nothing was taken or damaged. NOW ENGLISH IS BEING THREATENED for 'taking the side of arbery' and making the case even harder to defend. english is a retired man who was 60 miles away when the incident happened and all he did was offer the surveilance video to the police. i don't get it.

BTW, i sure you heard the red necks reason for trying to make a citizens arrest was that there was a rash of burglaries in the neighborhood over the past few weeks but police reports indicate there had been just one theft....7 weeks ago.

FYI: when i'm out for a walk and see new construction, i ALWAYS stop in to check it out. just sayin'. but if you try and make a citizen's arrest on me while holding a gun when i'm walking down the street, please read the concealed carry statute first. it will save me a lot of time and a lot of paperwork.

did you see the donald trump meltdown when pressured by two female reporters the other day? he turned in a huff and left without even saying goodbye. reminds me more & more of richard nixon in his final days. one can only hope.

Now hold onto your hat and strap yourself in because i'm about to agree with donald trump, who has issued an order to send ALL migrants attempting to enter the U.S. back to their origination point IMMEDIATELY.  i totally agree because we have enough problems with the virus and we don't need possibly infected people coming from other countries and causing more health problems. As it is,Trump originally waited far too long to close the borders and we have paid for that with thousands of additional deaths but this is the right call.

THE THINGS YOU FIND WHEN YOU'RE BORED OUT OF YOUR MIND: i pick up a prescription at osco and then i'm wandering the aisles like a cinema zombie. i need absolutely nothing but i have ten bucks burning a hole in my pocket so i buy a two-pak of self contained battery operated DISPOSABLE toothbrushes. never tried them before (didn't even know they existed) but they are the best brush i've ever had. seriously. who knew??

 i have no idea how long the battery is going to last but at 2-for-$7, who cares? SIGNATURE CARE VIBRACLEAN.

In 1959, i started collecting Topps baseball cards and that was my favorite set of all time and most of them survived my many moves. About 25 years ago, i started checking out cards again and found a new rating system in the hobby and a card was rated from 1-10 depending on condition.  made perfect sense to me and i decided a grade of 8 would be my collection which meant i would have to update many cards and it would take a while but i am proud and happy to announce i have just completed the set. 

CONGRATS to all the nurses who just celebrated nurses week. going to work every day never knowing..............i think we should have 'buy a nurse a margarita week' soon.

some fyi to help you through hump day...did you know that CURLY of the three stooges limped because he shot himself in the ankle when he was a kid? true story.

CURLY was also the tallest of the stooges.  take a guess...................five foot five! LARRY was 5'4 and Moe the shortest at 5'3.

and who was a professional boxer?     larry

and who was very accomplished on the violin??                larry again.

and my thoughts on sports:

NO SPECTATORS ALLOWED THIS YEAR.

PLAYERS TESTED EVERY WEEK

IF YOU TEST POSITIVE? DONE FOR THE SEASON

NHL---cancel the season

AHL---already cancelled

NBA--abbreviated playoffs with 8 teams max

less if it takes much longer to get started

PGA--2 month season starting in september

MLB--81 games and only 4 teams in the post season

NFL--start the first week of october  

there is no perfect solution but let's see if we can get to next year with a healthy populace and continue as before.

i'm done.  later dude

MORE THOUGHT DURING LOCKDOWN

MORE THOUGHTS & HAPPENINGS DURING LOCKDOWN

Is there a real reason that people won't wear a mask in public other than pure stupidity? i truly feel they should be taken into custody and see how they like fighting the virus while in jail.

I'm at the Jewel food store the other day and the manager is arguing with a guy who is wearing a face shield but not a mask. the guy refuses to leave and the police are called. all i wanted was apples. the officer shows up and explains to the moron that the shield is nice but the edict is that you have to cover your nose & mouth. the guy huffs & puffs and stomps out of the store but before the officer can complete the paperwork, the jerk walks back in with a legit mask. "i don't like wearing the mask" was his comment to the manager and the officer.  idiot. 

If i don't get a haircut soon, i will be forced to buy a guitar and join a band. When i woke up today, i looked like albert einstein....but i think he was a little smarter than me.

As the cleaning continues at Breezy Acres, i have given away a bike rack, vanity light bar, lighted christmas tree and a budweiser beer sign. And that was just stuff hiding in the basement. more to come.

The courts have decided that police and fire CANNOT be given the information that the house they're responding to has a corona victim inside. WTF???? god forbid we protect the first responders.

SUPREME COURT JUSTICE RUTH BADER GINSBERG is in failing health and the reality of the situation is that she wants to hold on until the november election and if the democrats win, she can be replaced by a democratic appointment to the court.

Why won't the white house allow DR. FAUCI to testify to the house? we all know the answer to that. the good doctor is not a democrat and he's not a republican. he's a doctor who doesn't owe anybody anything and under oath, he'll speak the truth to congress and that's THE LAST THING that this administration wants.

I lied. I watched the ENTIRE game 7 of the 1998 bulls/pacers playoffs even though i was at the game 22 years ago. I thought highlights were enough for me but apparently only most of the time. p.s. the bulls won.

Why would governors open their states for business when the infection rate is still going up? it makes no sense.

The two guys in Georgia who killed the black jogger?  bye-bye.  this is no different than the LAQUAN MCDONALD shooting in chicago. wrong is wrong.

I went to the store the other day and bought toilet paper, hand sanitizer and sanitary wipes with no problem.  i also noticed plenty of peroxide and alcohol on the shelves. apparently, the hoarding morons now have something else to do.

Baseball in july?  maybe.

NFL football in september?  maybe

college football? that's a whole different story as parents will be involved in those decisions. Do you let your son participate with 80 other guys in a locker room and travel on a plane and practice every day with guys grunting and spitting and coughing and breathing real hard and expelling air when hit real hard? i don't think players will be wearing masks.

first of all, players aren't paid and i would be very interested in an insurance company's position on this. does the college insure the player against corona? if the player is insured by the parents, does that company ok him playing when the threat is still real or do they classify football with say, parachuting?? you can do it but we don't pay if something happens.  many questions to be answered.

And along that line, after 33 years, i just gave up my BEARS SEASON TICKETS. my friends & I would definitely wear masks but what about the other 60,000 people in soldier field? they would wear them coming in but how about after a couple of beers? the second half would definitely be interesting. The couch is calling my name.

Please explain why trump and pence refused to wear face masks when visiting the mayo clinic and the factory that produces the damn masks? lead by example, you idiots.

A reporter from ABC who is inside the white house on a regular basis says he never sees masks on anyone. And along that line, now two members of the white house staff are sick. do you think that will help trump wake up and order everyone to wear masks? me neither.

covid-19 claimed the life of ROY HORN, the dark haired one of SIEGFRIED & ROY who entertained thousands of people in their career, especially at the mirage hotel in las vegas. R.I.P.

And one more farewell.....to entertainer LITTLE RICHARD, who passed this morning at the age of 87. if you have kids, take the time to google him or find him on utube. ONE OF A KIND.

Little Richard performs during halftime.

Remember all this in November and stay safe. adios for now.

MORE THOUGHTS FROM THE RECLINER

CONGRATS to JET BLUE airlines on their new policy. EVERY PERSON on board must wear a face mask.

I’m amazed that food stores like Jewel and Aldi’s and Costco don’t require face masks to all shoppers. 

AS A MATTER OF FACT…….LET’S JUST REQUIRE EVERYONE TO WEAR A MASK WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR HOUSE. Simple solution.

Did you see VP MIKE PENCE visiting patients as the only guy NOT wearing a mask at the MAYO CLINIC, where masks are mandatory? What the hell was he thinking? And why didn’t someone hand him a mask?  DUH.

Despite their poor drafting position, I think the Bears did ok with the first two selections. The jury is out on the other 4 or 5.

I know that Trump supporters get mad at me because they think I pick on him but the guy holding the sign that said “FAKE CRISIS” and wearing a red trump hat says it all. How fake are 57,000 dead people? What an idiot.

The BASEBALL HALL OF FAME was scheduled to induct HAWK HARRELSON, DEREK JETER and three other luminaries of the game on July 26^th but it was postponed until the summer of 2021.

What do you open on a limited basis? IMO, restaurants, bars, night clubs, bowling alleys and places which draw large crowds are places that should stay shut but what about fishing? hunting? golf courses?

I don’t do any of the first two and hardly the third but two to a boat works for me and you certainly don’t hunt shoulder to shoulder but golf presents another problem with carts unless everyone wants to pay extra for their own cart or god forbid, walk the golf course.

Have you watched any of those virtual concerts given by musical stars? I watched one recently off my DVR (where I record everything known to man to avoid boredom) and a group of  country stars performed from their homes. One thing I noticed: talent is talent, whether they’re playing in front of 20,000 people or performing in their basements. It was very enjoyable.

Happy Birthday to JERRY SEINFELD, 66, one of my favorites.

In April, 2009, we had our first death from swine flu.

In 1992 this week, L.A. broke out in riots following the acquittal of four police officers in the RODNEY KING beating. Two of those four officers were later found guilty in federal court and served prison time..

And finally, one of my favorite gangsters of all time….. in April of 1932, AL CAPONE was sent to Atlanta federal penitentiary to serve an 11 year term for tax evasion. His entry medical exam revealed gonorrhea, syphilis and cocaine addiction but at the time, there was no cure as the use of penicillin didn’t start until 1942. Capone was transferred to Alcatraz in 1934 and worked in the shoe repair shop until his release in 1939.

Capone lived out his days at his estate in Palm Island, Florida, and the disease addled his brain to where he had the mental capacity of a 12 year old. Capone died in early 1947 and his estate was valued at ……...........ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS, which in today’s dollars is about 1.47 BILLION.

Who said crime doesn’t pay?

Back to the recliner and the tv and 
all the news shows and my beloved VCR.  STAY SAFE!

THOUGHTS & OBSERVATIONS WHILE STUCK AT HOME

THOUGHTS & OBSERVATIONS WHILE STUCK AT HOME

as these thoughts hit me, i just jotted them done so there in no specific order.  enjoy.

The bad guy is NEVER home when the police kick in the door with a search warrant.

The last commercial during ABC world news at 5:30 is a full five minutes long. You watch it because “someone you should know” is the last segment on the show.

BIG BANG THEORY is/was a pretty good show.

DONNA THE BARTENDER is all done with her cancer treatments and good for her!

Other than watching the alligator show, I  never watch reality tv but………..

THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND is a big scam. The guys have dug up half of the island over a five year period and found two dimes and a hammer. I would love to see their profit/loss statement.

And I think the same applies to “the lost gold of WW II” but they get the benefit of the doubt after just one year. At least they found a tunnel on the last show of the season.

My buddy BOB is a pretty good friend.

ASPCA has the world’s longest commercials. One undernourished, dirty dog after another and only 19 cents a day to join.

The sloth playing Pictionary is a funny commercial.

All Republicans have to put their hands over their faces any time donald trump attempts to converse with educated people on the daily corona briefing. And they slump deeper into their chairs and couches when he tries to debate DR. FAUCI and the other medical experts.

SCIENCE, MEDICINE & COMMON SENSE are what we need to fight the virus, not some uneducated egomaniac telling people to swallow or inject household products.

FYI—following trump’s suggestion, five cases of emergency room activity, including one guy who rinsed his sinus cavities with warm water and bleach. for real.

I love it when ESPN runs all of MUHAMMAD ALI'S fights for 24 hours. A true test of my DVR capacities.

NEPHEW FRANK retires next month. good for him!

Why is it when we get a warm spring day, the wind blows 40 mph?

Tulips are cool but not when they're covered by snow.

Watching baseball playoff games from ten years ago does nothing for me. Watching HIGHLIGHTS is a totally different story.

U TUBE can be amusing but there are a lot of weird people in this world….as if I didn’t know that already.

EXACTLY how much better can their frying pan be than mine? My eggs flip just fine and nothing sticks.

I don't think they will play baseball until July. or maybe not at all.

END OF AN ERA.....I just gave up my season tickets for the CHICAGO BEARS. just thinking about the world's health problems and then sitting with 60,000 unknowns with them coughing and and sneezing.........after 33 years, it was the perfect time to say good-bye and reserve a spot on my couch.

And I REALLY LIKE the guy with the spray can of miracle adhesive who makes a boat with the spray and then runs the commercial from the boat on the water. no leaks!

for real, I’m going to miss CRIMINAL MINDS & HAWAII FIVE-0.

I have no idea why I keep paying for the daily newspaper. It has about 4 pages of news and the rest about the virus and I get that information on tv.

I still flip back & forth between CNN, FOX and CNBC which is why I’m so confused but i really like CHRIS CUOMO & CHRIS WALLACE.

 Saw a ½ hour infomercial last night on the ‘world’s greatest knife’. HAH! My niece gave me a Ginsu knife and IT is the world’s greatest knife.

If you didn’t see ANDERSON COOPER’S interview with LAS VEGAS MAYOR CAROLYN GOODMAN on CNN, hunt it down but be prepared to hold your jaw so it doesn’t slam onto the floor below. Her ideas of opening the town back up with no checks and balances was stunning and cooper’s reaction will go down in television history. Find it somewhere and listen to the entire interview. I just read it’s available for viewing on CNN.COM

We're just about done.......Stay safe and following all of the safety protocols and COVER YOUR FACE AND NOSE when you leave the house.  It doesn't have to be a medical mask but covering your mouth and nose protects others.

 P.S. if you google it, you can find non-medical masks for all of your favorite college and sports teams. they sell for about fifteen bucks and you might as well have some fun with all this.

cute, right?

adios for now.

a bunch of different thoughts

Hello from deep in the bunker at breezy acres where all is well and the supplies are holding out and i hope you are also doing well. Thought i'd share some random thoughts with you.

I had to pick up an allergy prescription the other day and when i left the pharmacy, i cruised thru the two strip malls just to the east to see what was happening. closed, closed, closed.......i had resigned myself that nothing was shaking (couldn't believe that tanning beds were ruled non-essential) when i saw an "open" sign at the Subway store and i couldn't resist. i pulled into a parking spot (plenty available) and entered. 

ONE woman was running the store and she explained she was a part time employee but was working full time hours since the lock down because her husband was unemployed. i ordered a sandwich and when i was paying, she reminded me that i had to leave immediately because the dining room was closed. i wished her good health and i walked out and looked around. nobody. no cars in the lot besides mine. no people. spooky.

Congratulations to all the upcoming graduates at every level and yes, it sucks that you can't have the ceremony or a big party but be proud of the work you produced to get to this point.

My friends in Mexico are suffering the trickle down effect from the virus. The hotels and beaches and restaurants are closed so there's no work for anyone.......and they don't have a single recorded case of the virus.

funny story. When you get the sunday edition of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, you can normally spend a few hours even after chucking a few sections into the bird cage, like the car section, the funnies and the want ads. the birds love those sections and go thru them page by page but not me.

HOWEVER, today's trib had no sales flyers (my mom called them the 'shinys'), no parade magazine and the sports section was like 6 pages when normally thirty, so i decided to read everything to kill some time and i did exactly that.  fine dining, business, real estate, neighborhoods....everything. i got up to bring the birds their increased bounty when i noticed the comics, which i hadn't read since high school.

 shock to my system! baby blues, pickles, zits (?) wumo and frazz were the front page comic strips.  WHO? I continues with brewster rockit, half full, the tinkersons, dogs of c kennel and fox trot. ????????????? WTF is going on? my heart finally slowed when i got to the last page and found doonesbury, dick tracy and hagar the horrible. then i went back to bed.

Remember this famous line? "Houston, we have a problem." APOLLO 13 happened 50 years ago this week.

59 years ago, YURI GAGARIN became the first man in space.

also happening in this week was the start of the CIVIL WAR and oddly enough, it's also the same week that ABRAHAM LINCOLN was assassinated after ending that war. 

finally, stay safe by staying inside. i know you're going crazy and so am i but we just have to wait it out. and remember all of this come November.  adios

Cleaning out the closets...........

Just got back from Mexico and i'm being a good boy with my two week quarantine and other than two previously scheduled doctor visits on my first day back, i've been at home and like most of you, bored to death but i thought i would share my home adventure with you.

Cleaning out the kitchen cabinets seemed like a good idea and when i found a forgotten can of peaches based in a very sweet syrup, i was convinced that more treasures lay in the dark recesses.  wrong. very, very wrong. 

Two cans of sardines?????? i hate sardines. where did they come from? it was then time to start a bag for food pantry donations and weigh the bag down with the two tins of dead fish. throw in a box of brownie mix (i don't bake) and a couple cans of spam. SPAM. the only person i ever saw eat that was my step-dad, who went to the big roundup in the sky over 40 years ago.

Four various sized bottles of cooking oil are discovered and three go into the bag. oops, time to switch to a box to handle everything. then reaching elbow deep to the back wall, i come out with one red light bulb. now i could understand a white or yellow bulb but red? i'm sure there's a joke here about the sex industry but i have more exploring to do.

GOOD STUFF wayyyyyy in the back!!! a large can of pork and beans, which goes great with chopped up hot dogs. the perfect cowboy food for watching monday night football. someday. 

then four boxes of butterscotch pudding were found and made it's way back to it's rightful place in the front of the cabinet. my smile grew bigger when my hands found a large box of KETTLE CORN, which i had purchased at xmas 2018 to help the girl scouts or little league or someone else with a pricey con who set up a table outside the local jewel food store. i'm surprised i don't remember the sellers because i just paid off the bank loan i took out to pay for the 18-pack of popcorn. But that was it for buried treasure.

Other discoveries included: two large cloves of garlic, a small travel pack of kleenex, a large pack of tortillas....the kind that crumble when you squeeze the package.............red beans, green chiles, a single cashew (not a can but a single nut), five q-tips, a half price coupon for the local pizza joint (expired 2015), a broken in half pencil and my favorite coming out of the food cabinet..........one small jar of red touch-up paint for my dodge daytona, which i sold in 2004, and haven't owned a red car since then. 

As most of you know, i don't bend very well so the contents of the bottom cabinets will remain a mystery but i am thinking very hard about the three closets.............maybe a later column.

Hope you smiled at least once. Have a great day and remember all of this come November.   adios