LET'S REVIEW CHICAGO TEAMS

FINALLY!!!!! good riddance to bad rubbish!  DERRICK ROSE aka MR. SOFTEE was finally dumped by the BULLS in a trade with the NEW YORK KNICKS, with the bulls getting a basic rookie and two journeymen and the knicks got the right to pick which ambulance service will take rose to the emergency room with his first injury. 

Waiting for Derrick Rose's arrival!

softee has only appeared in a third of the scheduled games over the past few seasons and is the 23rd rated guard in the league but still "wants the ball and the spotlight." softee, meet CARMELO ANTHONY, who commands both of those items on a nightly basis.  

softee burned many bridges in chicago with his ghetto demeanor and his inability to handle the english language. "personally, i don't care what any of the fans think" was my personal favorite.

 i can't wait to see how the new york media handles his 'hooray for me and the hell with everyone else' attitude. softee can 'listen' to his body and decide not to play at the last minute, which should really endear himself to knicks fans and make him easy fodder for the toughest media group in all of sports.  NO CHANCE he stays there when he becomes a free agent next year.  
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and now to the south side where it had been a week since SLEEPY ROBIN had cost the WHITE SOX a ball game but he put one more notch on his managerial gun yesterday when he allowed starter MIGUEL GONZALEZ  to get punched around for EIGHT EARNED RUNS in just four innings against one of the best hitting teams in baseball. OBVIOUSLY not the young man's day so sit him down and go get 'em next time. but not sleepy robin. it gets better..........

with the sox trailing by just one entering the ninth inning, sleepy brings on a rookie pitcher who's greeted by a line drive single and then a first pitch monster double to the farthest part of the park by the first two batters. ok, sleepy, remember it's a one run game....maybe not this kid's stage. 

an error doesn't help with the next batter but every ball has been hit hard.  make the change, right? apparently, sleepy's alarm clock didn't go off until the next batter hit ANOTHER line drive to plate the tenth run of the day.  game, set and match.  way to go jerkwad. please fire robin ventura.
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the BLACKHAWKS and ANDREW SHAW were a victim of the NHL's hard salary cap when shaw got shipped to montreal for draft choices. shaw was one of the most popular hawks but three players have raises totalling 4.5 million this season so shaw had to go. the nature of the business.
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a crack in the foundation? start counting the number of pitches by cub starters through just 5 innings.  JAKE ARRIETA has been over 105 pitches in four recent starts, JOHN LACKEY is at 110 and JON LESTER is at 102 through 5 innings during the month of june.  big deal? well, when you have to start relying on that bullpen in the sixth inning, i think you're poking the bear.  we'll see.
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is ICHIRO the hit king or no?

gotta run. have a good week.  and don't forget SHARK WEEK starts sunday night on DISCOVERY CHANNEL.

CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY

CONGRATULATIONS TO DUSTIN JOHNSON, who finally broke through and captured his first major golf championship. beset by personal problems the past few years, including a big time substance abuse problem, johnson methodically took apart the U.S. OPEN course at OAKMONT and shrugged off a delayed ruling by the incompetent USGA and won the tournament with room to spare. May you win many more, dustin.

THE USGA?? what a bunch of jerkoffs.  imagine you hit a three run homer in the 4th inning but they tell you "we're not sure if that was fair or foul....we'll let you know after the game is over." what?????????????

that's EXACTLY what they did to johnson after his ball moved on the 5th green and waited until the 12th hole to let him know there MIGHT be a penalty stroke assessed against him AFTER the round was over.  WHAT????? assess the penalty or not....but do it on the 5th hole so EVERYONE knows the proper strategy for the rest of the round.

 ALL OF THE GOLFERS ARE PISSED at the usga for not making an immediate ruling, including RORY McELROY, JUSTIN SPEITH & SERGIO GARCIA. "the guy is trying to win a major and you're holding back a decision???"

Look for that procedure to change IMMEDIATELY.
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NOBODY dislikes LEBRON JAMES more than i do but he made a block for the ages with about a minute to go in GAME 7 and led his CLEVELAND CAVALIERS to the NBA CHAMPIONSHIP, the first crown for cleveland in ANY professional sport since 1964. the cavs became the first team in finals history to come back from a 3-1 deficit. 
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the BLACKHAWKS made a nice salary dumping move this weekend by trading two players for draft choices, including the worthless BRYAN BICKELL. this will enable them to 
re-sign ANDREW SHAW, who plays at one hundred per cent ALL THE TIME.
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and looking at the other tenants of the UNITED CENTER.....the NEW YORK KNICKS are sniffing around regarding making a trade for DERRICK ROSE and most of the fans in chicago couldn't be happier. the knicks need a true point guard to augment the talents of CARMELO ANTHONY and the bulls could use some draft choices. PLEASE make the deal.  i can't wait to see how the NY media reacts to MR SOFTEE "listening to my body."
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FIRE ROBIN VENTURA.

A ROLLING NL DYNAMO

This current CHICAGO CUBS team is incredibly talented and are steamrolling the central division. they should end up with the best record in baseball which gets then a first round match up with the wild card survivor.

If the season ended today, the cubs would play a best of five series against one of four teams: the DODGERS, METS, CARDINALS or MARLINS.  who would you rather play?? 

For party planning purposes, the WORLD SERIES starts on OCTOBER 25th. and for general information, if your town does halloween on the weekend, call 'DIBS' now on not answering the door.  if your town celebrates on actual halloween, there's no game that night.

This team looks like it will win a minimum of 110 games and maybe even break the record of 116 wins for the regular season. WEAKNESS? probably the bullpen but even that isn't bad.  i watch a lot of baseball and if the worst criticism of a bullpen is 'good but not great,' you should play deep into october. 
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and now we travel 8 miles south where jerkwad ROBIN VENTURA is still employed. all i can figure is that he has video of owner JERRY REINSDORF doing strange things with an aardvark. how in the world do you keep your job with a 45% success rate over 5 years and ZERO PLAYOFF APPEARANCES?? i continue my strike against attending any WHITE SOX games until that pud is removed.

and speaking of the sox, just who was responsible for getting JAMES SHIELDS from san diego??? and here's the best part. despite giving up an average of TWENTY-ONE RUNS A GAME since coming over, guess who has a player option for next year at 27 million dollars????? so add shields' money next year to the contracts of ADAM DUNN & ADAM LaROCHE and somebody upstairs needs to head to the unemployment office.  i pray every night. start with robin.
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Has STEPHEN CURRY turned into a whiny little bitch?  what was that all about on thursday night? throwing your mouthpiece into the crowd? grow up and play ball. and tell your wife to shut up. making allegations that games are fixed isn't good for anyone unless she can prove it.....which she can't......so just steer her back to the kitchen.
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What is professional golfer DUSTIN JOHNSON'S problem? i'm watching the U.S. OPEN on saturday and he leads by 2 at the half-way point ninety minutes later, he's chasing three strokes, a 5 stroke swing in nine holes. this guy has all the talent in the world and i hope he can make a move on sunday because he needs to win a major.
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NBA GAME 7 TONIGHT!  whoyagot? or are you watching the cubs/pirate game?

gotta run. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

MUHAMMAD ALI

On friday night, i cried.

A big part of my life from the time i was a teenager passed away late friday night and a part of me disappeared forever.

MUHAMMAD ALI died at the age of 74 and he had been part of my life for over fifty years. i followed his life and career and was NEVER anything but a fan of his.

my father & i were never close when i was a kid and ALI polarized us like no other topic could until my father's death in the early 90's,

my father yelled "loud mouth" and "lucky" in 1964 when Ali  upset SONNY LISTON for the heavyweight championship of the world but i thought his braggadocio was very cool and his boxing style was new and exciting. my imitation of ALI'S vocals & poetry did nothing to endear me to my dad.

The standoff continued in 1967 when Ali refused to be inducted into the army and my dad yelled "draft dodger" and i staunchly defended his right to freedom of religion under the first & fourteenth amendments..

When he was convicted of draft evasion in the same year, my dad said "i told you so" and my retort was "he's going to win on appeal."  when the supreme court exonerated Ali with a unanimous 8-0 vote in 1971, i called my dad in northern wisconsin and he hung up on me.

Most people today have no idea what 'closed circuit' tv is or was but back in the day, that was the only way to see most championship fights as there was no free home tv and it was well before 'pay per view.'

 i spent many a dollar to see the champ at venues like the PICKWICK in PARK RIDGE, the old ROSEMONT ARENA, the MERCURY THEATRE IN CHICAGO and in various hotel rooms & garages with illegal hijacked signals but the one i remember the most is when i hung on the fence FOR FREE at the harlem-irving outdoor theatre in 15 degree temperatures and listened to my transistor radio to see him beat liston).

on closed circuit, i watched him lose to JOE FRAZIER, beat frazier in both rematches and destroy GEORGE FOREMAN to regain the title. i saw all 5 of his losses. FRAZIER, KEN NORTON, LARRY HOLMES, LEON SPINKS & in a fight that burst my balloon, TREVOR BERBICK. who?

but i also saw forty of his wins, including two rematches against frazier, two rematches against norton, his destruction of GEORGE FOREMAN, (Ali was a 3-1 underdog) and regaining his title against leon spinks.

i was fortunate to meet him in person three times....once at a gym in the late 60's, once while walking down MICHIGAN AVENUE in the city and my favorite, waiting for a plane at o'hare where he drew a little sketch on a 3 x 5 which i framed and still hangs proudly in my house.

As most of you know, i collect memorabilia but the autograph i have the most of is the CHAMP. on my bedroom walls are one WALTER PAYTON and three MUHAMMAD ALI sigantures.

He's been retired for 35 years and he's STILL the most recognizable name in the world. I LOVED THAT MAN and everything he went through to defend his principles.

I'm sad that he's gone but happy that he's no longer suffering from advanced parkinson's disease. 
MUHAMMAD ALI, I LOVE YOU. REST IN PEACE.

And so it begins....... again. manager ROBIN VENTURA, who benefited from the WHITE SOX getting off to a red hot start which eliminated him from the decision making process, has once again been exposed as the worst manager in baseball.

SLEEPY ROBIN pissed away another game friday night with his mishandling of the bullpen in the 7th inning. ventura's love affair with fat pig MATT ALBERS better end soon because putting albers on the mound produces the same result as RONALD BELLISARIO a couple of seasons ago. bad.

NATE JONES is one of the best relief pitchers in baseball but sleepy robin doesn't bring him in until AFTER three other pitchers had been brought in and the three run lead was gone.  jones? a six pitch strikeout to end the inning.

it's easy to manage in the american league when things are going good but when your team is struggling, you have to preserve every winning opportunity especially against divisional foes and the only way to do that is to understand your bullpen.  please fire robin ventura.

QUICK. immediately name the two teams in the STANLEY CUP FINALS. i didn't think so.

file this under 'big surprise.' pothead RICKY WILLIAMS, who smoked away his NFL career is opening a gym in san francisco that will be 'marijuana friendly." no way!

the HOTTEST team in the national league?  the PITTSBURGH PIRATES have won nine of eleven games and five in a row to close the gap with the CUBS to just 4 1/2 games. you don't think that...........

and the COLDEST? easy pickings here.  the hapless CINCINNATI REDS are currently 6-18 for the month and have lost their last 11 games. how bad is it? read on.

JOEY VOTTO, their perennial all-star is hitting .205 and only .182 during the month of may. and here's the killer.....votto is only in the 4th year of a TWELVE YEAR CONTRACT which pays him 21 million a year. anyone want to trade a handful of prospects for him? this may be a case of the reds waiting one year too long. votto is 32 years old and the reds are losing more trading power every time he takes the field.

gotta run. have a great holiday weekend!

ODDS & ENDS, THIS & THAT

If you're an illinois resident and you can afford the neighborhood, HAWTHORNE WOODS in lake county appears to be the safest place to live BUT if you go to eight other 'safety' sites, you'll find eight different cities listed as number one in illinois..........so just buy a gun and learn to shoot it.

but if you want to live on the edge and tempt the fates nationwide, then relocate to BALTIMORE, HOUSTON, PITTSBURGH, MEMPHIS or the number one crime city in america, CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.  and they are the same no matter what list you see.
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who is the oldest prison inmate in illinois? that status goes to 94 year old CHESTER STARBROWSKI. probably a long time jailbird, right? uh, no, chester the molester was sent to prison just six years ago for predatory sexual assault and WILL BE RELEASED next june. anyone want to rent him a room?

no, i haven't forgotten the distaff side. HELEN VEDDER, a youthful 83 years of age is serving three years for her third AGGRAVATED DUI conviction but helen will be available to entertain at your christmas party as she's scheduled for release next year on december 15, 2017. wonder if she'll toast the holidays?

FYI....of the 10 oldest female inmates, there are seven murderers, one drug lord, one thief who stole over a hundred grand from a town plus our team leader ms vedder. the men stack up a lot differently with three murderers and seven sexual predators including chester.
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our old buddy BILL COSBY was ordered to stand trial for a sexual assault that happened ten years ago. cosby, who is up to his neck in civil complaints about his past sexual acts, faces ten years if convicted. 

HOWEVER, the plaintiff admits she stayed in touch with him after the alleged assault and even requested tickets to one of his shows and then bought him a gift and that will definitely raise the eyebrows of any jury. cosby had previously settled a civil suit with the woman.
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 the CHICAGO PARKING METER COMPANY paid the city of chicago 1.2 billion dollars in 2008 to lease all of the parking meters in chicago for 75 years. 

the company is realizing about a 30 million profit PER YEAR, which means they'll have paid off the original lease in about 40 years which leaves them thirty-five years of pure profit. for the mathematically challenged, that's a minimum of 1.1 billion dollars profit. with a B. billion.   only in chicago.
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ok, school's out and now it's time to take your family of four to a cubs game at wrigley field so let's see how much money you'll need. 

an average ticket price is $52 a ticket and that starts you off at $208 for starters and forty more dollars to park so you're at $248 and you're not inside the park yet. 

mom & dad each have two beers so that $36 (that's right, nine bucks APIECE for four beers) and the kids each have a coke for five bucks and now we're at $294 and who can go to a ball game without a hot dog?????????? four of those babies at six bucks apiece and we've hit $318. and that's without souvenirs!

man, you better pray they don't play extra innings.
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remember these babies? the original MOTOROLA CELL PHONE which weighed just over two pounds and cost $4,000! you could talk for thirty minutes before the battery died.

maybe that was too early for you but admit it, you probably owned a bag phone when they came out in 1990. FYI--the number 1 stolen item three years in a row. that's why we put them in the trunk!


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finally, ladies, this is the last weekend before you make your clothing donation to GOODWILL INDUSTRIES. the clothes didn't fit in april and in all likelihood, they won't fit on MEMORIAL DAY so time to ship 'em off and buy new stuff.
the winter monster has struck again!
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HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!!

ONE MORE THING

A POINT OF COMPARISON FOR THE CUBS.

in 1984, a 10-6 CHICAGO BEARS team beat the redskins 23-19 in the first round of the playoffs before they got their asses handed to them by the 49ers 23-0.

in 1985, the bears went 15-1 before shutting out both the giants and the rams in the playoffs before dominating the patriots in the super bowl 46-10.
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in 2015, the CUBS beat the PIRATES in the wild card game and then the CARDINALS 3 games to 1 before getting their asses handed to them when the METS swept them out of the playoffs in four straight.

in 2016, the cubs......................................?

KEEP SMILING CUB FANS.