NEW LIFE ON THE NORTH SIDE?

Well, 10% of the baseball season is already gone and how's your team doing?  as you know, i watch a lot of baseball and i can honestly tell you that THE CHICAGO CUBS bring an potent offensive package to every game which will score a lot of runs and entertain north siders throughout the summer.  the cubs also got good news sunday when the first place cardinals announced that pitcher ADAM WAINWRIGHT was done for the year. every little bit helps.

JORGE SOLER is the real deal. he has a buggy whip swing reminiscent of DARRYL STRAWBERRY and don't you dare think about taking an extra base because soler's arm will gun you down. I'll reserve judgement on wunderkid KRIS BRYANT until he's been thru the league a couple of times because it looks to me that a hard slider is his kryptonite  but the anticipation in wrigley when he walks to the plate is just like when steroid riddled SAMMY SOSA used to work on the north side.

speaking of steroid boy.....what the hell is he doing to his body now? check the comparison photo below. the one on the right was taken at christmas and the other 5 years ago. can you say MICHAEL JACKSON?

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THE CHICAGO BULLS may have caught a huge break on sunday when KEVIN LOVE of the CAVALIERS dislocated his shoulder during their game with the BOSTON CELTICS. love will be out a minimum of two weeks which means he misses the first three games of the series against the bulls........If the bulls stop screwing around and eliminate the MILWAUKEE BUCKS tonite.  

28 turnovers and MR. SOFTEE spits the bit.....TWICE.....in crunch time.  yeesh.

THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS move on to the second round against the MINNESOTA WILD, the team with the hottest goaltender in the league.  uh-oh.   historically, one team will catch fire and ride the shoulders of their goaltender to the finals.  they don't always win the cup but they elimate some high flying teams along the way.  BEWARE.

THE WHITE SOX appear to be righting the ship after sweeping a doubleheader from KANSAS CITY on sunday and pulling to within a game of .500 after starting the season 0-4.  they still have five starters hitting less than .225 but if the bats wake up................

the MANNY PACQUIAO-FLOYD MAYWEATHER "fight of the century" is this coming saturday.  pay per view will cost you a hundred bucks but if you bet another hundred on underdog manny and he wins, you'll get $170 which will pay for the PPV and put seventy more in your pocket! WHOYAGOT?

and to whet your gambling appetite, the KENTUCKY DERBY runs about 5 hours before the fight.  looking for a kismet wager?  how about ITSAKNOCKOUT at 40-1??? c'mon, think about it.

that's it.  enjoy the week!

COUNTRY MUSIC

Spring has sprung and you have to be enjoying this weather. upper 50's/low 60's during the day and mid-40's at night.  a gradualsegue into summer which beats the hell out of 35 one day and 'hello summer' the next day when it turns 80.  enjoy the next few weeks.

does ANYONE in chicago play it straight? now the superintendent of chicago public schools BARBARA BYRD-BENNETT is getting heat from the feds for a no bid contract for twenty million dollars.  how much heat? enough to force her into a six month leave of absence. sounds like imprisoned ROD BLAGOJEVICH might be getting company.  good thing this happened a week AFTER the election of RAHM EMMANUEL or his opponent CHUY GARCIA might be sitting on the fifth floor of city hall.

speaking of the election, emmanuel spent nearly TWENTY-THREE MILLION DOLLARS to get re-elected. wow. that's a lot to spend for a job that pays $216,000 annually.

new governor BRUCE RAUNER isn't very popular these days but he's keeping his pre-election promises of drastic budget cuts in order to get illinois out of the red.

THE ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS is, without a doubt, the BEST awards show on tv. the the show deals with just one genre of music so if you like country music, this is the show for you. ALL of the top stars in the industry take the stage to perform and the 3 1/2 hours move by quickly. don't like country music? then watch reruns because nobody will go head to head with the ACM's.

it was sad to see RANDY TRAVIS. he suffered a terrible stroke two years ago which has left him unable to speak and only able to walk short distances with a cane. he was brought into the stadium in a wheel chair and was barely able to stand when introduced.

UNFORTUNATELY, no awards show is perfect and there were a couple of appearances that amplified that fact. i hereby nominate KELLY CLARKSON for numerous awards:

FAT & STUPID

FAT & DRUNK

FAT & OBNOXIOUS

CLASSLESS

this fat pig takes the microphone wearing something that resembles a tent to introduce REBA MCINTYRE (her mother in law) for a special award and after stumbling her way thru the introduction (she started the intro three times, giggling harder each time) she told the audience that she was a member of reba's family and if they weren't, they could all "suck it." verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry classy.

and before you start banging on your keyboard because clarkson 'just' had a baby, let's get something straight.  she had her baby a year ago and with her money, she has access to the best trainers and dieticians IF she wants to lose weight. she CHOOSES to weigh two hundred pounds. oink oink.

fashion hint to MIRANDA LAMBERT: when you have a large butt, DON'T wear white pants because it makes you look two ax handles wide. what the hell were you thinking?

and my final thought on the show: i have no idea who invited him to a country music show but will someone please tell STEVEN TYLER to just go away?  he's 66 years old and still dresses like a blind man. steven, your time has passed. now just go lay down on the couch.

ok, i'm done.

VACATION'S OVER

Back from sunny mexico and  time to catch up on things.  i've been asked more than a few questions about ixtapa so i'll answer a few in italics as we go thru this posting.

What's the deal with that south carolina shooting?? the victim is clearly running away from the officer but the officer sees fit to open fire. none of us have all the details but based on what we do have, this one appears to be a bad shoot BUT....

did you know that police officers are legally justified to shoot someone in the back if conditions warrant? 'an immediate threat to society' 'has committed a felony involving serious bodily harm' 'using a deadly weapon while trying to escape' are just a few conditions which allow that type of action. 

did the victim run because he was wanted on warrants involving the above conditions? what if the officer's in-squad computer revealed the guy was wanted for aggravated battery and the officer then sees him running away? shoot? don't shoot?  eventually, we'll get the details but this one smells bad to me.

are there bugs in mexico? yes, but there are also bugs in chicago. the better question is: are there BIG bugs in mexico? and that answer would also be yes.  humidity + constant temperatures in the 80's with lows in the mid-70's = BIG BUGS but it depends where your foot travel takes you as to whether you experience the whoppers. 

now let's talk about the shooting this week in Zion.  different set of circumstances. 17 yr. old punk meets a guy to buy a gun from him but instead he struggles with the buyer in an effort to steal the weapon. during the struggle, a shot is fired  and the thief takes off running with the gun. the police pursue him on foot and eventually shoot him in the back.  did the thief point the weapon at the police?  did he fire? did he disregard a lawful order to stop? the FBI has now joined the investigation but this one smells a whole lot better than the carolina shooting.

are there mosquitos in mexico? yes, but the activity is very isolated.  the beach after dark and the marina area at night are places to avoid but the hotel properties and restaurant row is never a problem. remember, mosquitos can't handle direct sunlight so your daytime ventures are pretty healthy. i haven't been bitten in ten years.

so Hillary is saddling up for 2016, eh?  long regarded as the anti-christ and about as personable as a grammar school principal, she is still the best candidate the democrats have to offer while the republicans will have 4 guys beating each other up for the nomination.  let's see if the 'out of touch' party recognizes hillary's glaring weaknesses and exploits them.

is beer still real cheap in mexico?  nope.  two bucks a bottle at 'beer planet' and more than that at nicer restaurants.  i don't think thats real cheap.

stay away from wrigley field until the construction is done.  CUB FANS who contacted me said the place is a disaster with leaking porta-potties and lonnnnnnnnnng waits to use them and people peeing in empty beer cups. they should have played elsewhere this year but now they're stuck with this problem. as they're so used to saying on the north side, wait til next year...........to go to the park.

are the restaurants good in ixtapa? restaurant row is SPECTACULAR. located directly across the street from the hotels, they offer the freshest of seafood to the point where a boy carrying a live fish in a bucket shows up at the resturant while you're sitting at the table and the waiter brings the bucket over to you and asks "do you feel like red snapper tonight?"
now that doesn't always happen but i think you get the point.  snapper, shrimp, squid, white fish, oysters, dorado & tuna are brought in fresh every day along with fresh guacomole &  salsa that's made every two hours. there are also several excellent italian restaurants on the row and you won't be disappointed by any of them.

for you history buffs.......one hundred and fifty years ago this week, president lincoln was assassinated in ford's theatre by a deranged john wilkes booth.

rahm emmanuel says he learned a lot by having to go thru a runoff for re-election.  yeah, i'll bet he did.  next time, make nice with the minor candidates and get them to drop out so they don't steal the votes you need for 50%. like we don't need more supervisors of something.

finally, a sad goodbye to WINDELL MIDDLEBROOKS who died of a pulmonary embolism at the tender age of 36 on march 9.  who is he?  i guarantee you all knew him from his MILLER HIGH LIFE beer commercials where he's the delivery man who takes away all the miller beer when he finds out people are paying "$10.50 for a hamburger! you don't deserve the high life!"    RIP, big man

THE WRIGLEY RUINS

The saga of the worst park in baseball continues. i received several phone calls from cub fans who attended opening night and the reports were less than encouraging. 
1) fans were waiting 45 minutes to use the 'porta-potties' placed in the lower concourse (this in a 'major league' park). 
2) one of the portables developed a leak and the contents quickly ran down the slanted concrete towards the nearest concession stand. i'm sure this added to the flavor of the world famous chicago cub buffalo burger.  an attendant with an industrial mop & bucket was positioned to keep the flow of bodily fluids from reaching the food court while another DUCT TAPED the leak.  nice.
3) due to the 45 minute wait, cub fans were seen urinating into their empty beer cups which then begs the question: exactly what happened to the cups when the fans were done peeing? probably just placed on the floor to be knocked over and spilled later in the game with more urine than normal being soaked into the concrete.  can't wait for the hot weather to arrive which makes the cement sweat. ah, the summer aroma of wrigley field.
4) and the cherry on the sundae: not one, but two of the upper deck bathrooms suddenly stopped functioning in the early innings and they were closed when the toilets began to overflow.  how soon did you say you wanted to attend a cubs game?

again, an absolute embarrassment to major league baseball AND the city of chicago.
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did anyone else notice the 150 million dollar pitcher not being able to throw more than 88 mph? can you say 'the dead arm lives?'
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congrats to the DUKE BLUE DEVILS who outplayed the badgers in the second half and won the title 68-63. tied at halftime and in foul trouble, duke's COACH K made the defensive adjustment needed while badger coach bo ryan was outcoached for the second consecutive year.  despite leading by nine points with under 14 minutes to play, ryan had no answer for the smothering devil defense or the offensive outbursts by the two duke guards.
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wisconsin coach bo ryan was a whiny little bitch after the game, complaining that the game got too physical and it was the fault of the referees.  this coming from a guy who watched his star player FRANK KAMINSKY throw hip checks all night saturday against kentucky and only get called for one all night. bo, it's a game of adjustments and your team has to adjust to the officiating every night and you have to adjust to game situations but you didn't make them last year and you sure as hell didn't make them this year. just shut up.
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"MR. SOFTEE" says he MIGHT play this week for the bulls.  the reaction i get from most bulls fans is 'who cares?'  his contributions are uneven at best and we all know his attitude sucks. the sad part is the bulls are stuck with his mega-contract.  the bulls should open the playoffs against the MILWAUKEE BUCKS but if they survive that series, round two will be against the dreaded CLEVELAND CAVALIERS & lebron. everyone better be healthy.
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is it my imagination or are the ATLANTA BRAVES trying to become the worst team in baseball? following a winter of bizarre trades which broke up their team, yesterday they traded CRAIG KIMBRELL, one of the best closers in baseball and high priced outfielder MELVIN UPTON to san diego for journeyman outfielder CARLOS QUENTIN and a couple of draft choices and then they immediately released quentin. what???
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are the BEARS going to be better?  yes.  will JAY CUTLER still suck? yes. will new coach JOHN FOX be afraid to wave the white flag regarding cutler's future DURING the season when jaybird stinks up the joint?  absolutely not.  enjoy your final 9 months in chicago, jay.
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and finally, the BLACKHAWKS. playing well but they really need PATRICK KANE in order to go deep into the playoffs.   bye for now.