As life marches on, i find myself less & less tolerant of morons and i seem to run into them more & more every day. the first question that pops, of course, is 'what is a moron?' and i'll just throw you a quick definition from webster. "a person lacking in good judgement" which works perfectly for today's column.
you're a moron if you you buy a first row seat for ANYTHING and then stand throughout the event. you can't get any closer without being a participant so sit down, moron.
you're definitely a moron if you bring small children to a restaurant. that's why they make babysitters, moron. if you can't afford one, then you couldn't afford kids in the first place. BUT IF YOU INSIST......... when they begin to fuss, leave IMMEDIATELY. ruin your night out, not mine.
morons abound at the convenient store every morning. you grab your coffee and doughnut and stand in line with the rest of us. you get closer & closer and finally it's your turn as the man says "$5.71 please." but wait, now you have to set down the coffee, set down the doughnut and set down your keys so you can BEGIN to search for your money. DID YOU THINK THE ITEMS WERE GOING TO BE FREE, YOU MORON?
a recent CLASSIC MORON was the loving dad who took his 8 year old son with him to the local watering hole and got trashed on a saturday afternoon. when it was time to go home, he flipped the keys to his son to handle the drive home. "i didn't want to hurt anyone by driving drunk and besides,the kid was sober." true story.
ok, that's it. i vented.
