odds & ends

the insurance website for obamacare has proven to be about as useless as corned beef at a vegetarian's table and the REPUBLICANS finally have something to smile about after being on the wrong side in the recent 'gunfight at the o.k. corral.' both sides are calling for someone's head and that will happen soon enough but for now, they just need to get the damn thing fixed.

three years ago, two girls were attacked by DIRTBAG HERIBERTO VIRAMONTES who hit both of them in the head with a baseball bat which left one of them unable to walk or speak and the second survivor with constant headaches. "i probably hit the other bitch once" was part of a taped coversation played for the jury who returned a guilty verdict for 10 felonies, including two counts of attempted murder.  the dirtbag is eligible for 120 years in prison and seeing as how the girlfriend who stayed IN THE VAN during the attack got 22 years, i think we have seen the last of the dirtbag. screw him.

the 9 year old who snuck on to a flight for las vegas has been taken away from his parents, who never reported him missing. a judge has ordered therapy for the parents, which we all know will end up being a total waste of taxpayer dollars.

here's a big surprise:the chicago police department issued just over 1100 tickets in 14 months since the city decriminalized marijuana in august of 2012. better yet, they've only collected 20% of the fines.  exactly how do you force a pothead to pay his fine?  he probably ate his copy of the ticket long ago and doesn't even remember the citation.  "wow dude, why are you giving me this piece of paper?"
the officers on the street have better things to do than write pot tickets. then they have to go to the station and record the evidence after weighing and testing it. all for a hundred dollar ticket.  lose, lose.   just legalize pot. problem solved.

and now we discover another moron holding elected office in chicago and calling for bicycle riders to buy a $25 license for their bikes AND take a one hour safety course.  WHAT???? let me see how this works.  my ten year old nephew is stopped by the cpd and asked for his license from the city.  the nephew says 'huh'? and is promptly taken into custody and his bicycle impounded.  now there's crime fighting at it's best. ALDERMAN PATRICIA DOWELL....i KNOW you have better things to work on when you represent the south side of chicago.  how about taxing cigarettes or liquor or cable tv if you want some extra money?  leave my nephew alone.  idiot.

did you see where U.S. JUDGE ROBERT GETTLEMAN has had informercial king KEVIN TRUDEAU 'up to here' and sent him to jail 'indefinitely' for failure to pay a penny of his 38 million dollar fine from 2008.  trudeau was cited for false claims in a diet book and ordered to pay the fine to reimburse victims who bought the book. trudeau, who drives a bentley, goes to casinos, has a personal chef and gets $180 haircuts claims he has no money. i believe the bullshit light just went on.

enough. have a good week.

AN INTERESTING TWO WEEKS OF POLITICS

REPUBLICANS learned a valuable lesson this month.  don't ever play 'chicken' with a second term president who has nothing to lose because you can't win. the right wingers fractured their party and the american people when they forced a shutdown of the government and then were taken to the woodshed for a solid ass beating when they blinked first accepted the same basic package the president offered six months ago.

did it hurt the elephant party? national polls indicate that while the president's approval rate is below 50%, republican approval is in the teens....with an election year coming up. i hope those people who voted for the shutdown have job skills other than politics because i think they're going to need them next november.

in NEW YORK politics, private parts tweeting expert ANTHONY WEINER stated that if there was no internet, he would probably be mayor of new york right now. and if there was no gravity, i'd be flying. but there is and i can't.  go away anthony.

and on to CHICAGO.......LAURA FOXGROVER, a former park district official  improperly helped her married lover MATTHEW O'MALLEY and the father of her child secure a THIRTY YEAR DEAL to operate the PARK GRILL in millenium park. in addition, the restaurant receives free water, heat and garbage collection for the duration of the lease and operate rent free until they recoup their initial construction costs.  sweet. and the tidbit which may send some people to jail? the bid that would have given the park district the biggest slice of cash belonged to BRUCE RAUNER, a very close friend of current MAYOR RAHM EMANUEL, who is currently in court trying to break the lease and spending bunches of taxpayer dollars in lawyer fees, almost 3/4 of a million dollars to date.  stay tuned.

kudos to NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE for withdrawing his legal challenge to gay marriage, citing that recent high court decisions make it "impossible to win this battle and we have other places to spend our money." christie has become a common sense leader for the republican party although many view him as too liberal for the national platform. his lauding of PRESIDENT OBAMA after the hurricane rankled some leaders but christie's retort was 'fair is fair. his agencies did a great job helping our state."

and congratulations to NEWARK MAYOR CORY BOOKER, who won a special election and became the first black senator from new jersey. booker is a graduate of the yale school of law and a rhodes scholar. one of the first politicians to embrace the social media, he has over 1.4 million followers on twitter.  that's it for now.

OUCH

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-BOOM! that was the sound of the bears' season bottoming out with 9:50 remaining in the first half when JAY CUTLER suffered a torn groin muscle that was so painful, the tough guy couldn't finish the walk to the locker room.

as one who has been on both sides of this coin, i can tell you that he would need a minimum of three weeks IF i was only a pull BUT a tear means that cutler's season is basically over.  torn groins heal very slowly without benefit of sugery so don't expect cutler to be back until after thanksgiving if he ducks the knife.

even if it was "just" a pull, those injuries tend to linger and affect the way you walk and run which normally results in other injuries. a perfect example: PEANUT TILLMAN hurt his groin 4 weeks ago and he continues to favor it while playing but now he's dinged up with both knee & ankle issues and i guarantee you they're related. COACH MARC TRESSMAN said yesterday of cutler's injury "it's just a groin." he's about to learn about understating a injury.

and today we also learned that LANCE BRIGGS is gone for six weeks with an injured shoulder. with one of the worst defenses in the league, losing your best player spells absolute doom for the season. at the end of the game, did you know every name mentioned on defense?  me neither. they finish at 6-10 and a whole bunch of free agents at the end of the season.

JIM LEYLAND was woefully outmanaged in the ALCS and announced his retirement today.  the game has passed leyland by and it was definitely time to hang em up.  how do you pull MAX SCHERZER with a 2-1 lead in a 'go home' game? the answer is ....you don't.  you stick with your stud. send the chain smoking leyland a carton of cigarettes as a retirement gift.

BOSTON-ST. LOUIS.....two old time teams. i love it. more later.

OCTOBER MADNESS!

what a baseball game in boston last night! no matter your like or dislike for the teams, the RED SOX pulled the proverbial rabbit out of the hat with a miracle rally highlited br DAVID ORTIZ whacking a grand salami that was missed by just inches at the wall by TORI HUNTER who left the field like superman. i do have one question: how do you throw david ortiz a first pitch fastball? JIM LEYLAND was outmanaged sunday night and we'll have to see if a hangover exists in detroit tuesday night.

on the other hand, the LOS ANGELES DODGERS are on life support, trailing 0-2 to the CARDINALS and facing ADAM WAINWRIGHT tonight. ouch. every team slumps at the plate but it better not be in the playoffs.

get ready for the NFL MATCHUP OF THE YEAR next monday night! the NEW YORK GIANTS 0-6  host the 1-4 MINNESOTA VIKINGS.  put plenty of coffee on because you'll need the caffeine to stay awake.

almost time for the BULLS to play for real.  anyone else concerned that DERRICK ROSE sat out saturday night with a sore knee? it looks like a healthy bulls team can be pretty competitive.

the BLACKHAWKS have set off on a very long road to defend the STANLEY CUP, which is the most difficult piece of hardware to win in all of professional sports but they are loaded with talent and have a legitimate shot at winning it again. four years ago, they had to break up the team because of the salary cap but not this time. the roster has only 4 new players and the core stayed intact.

the CHICAGO BEARS are not going to make the playoffs. they barely survived a terrible NEW YORK GIANTS team at home and still have two games against the PACKERS and solos against the LIONS, EAGLES, COWBOYS and RAVENS, six possible losses.  players are falling like ducks on opening day of the hunting season and even i don't recognize the people who are being signed as reinforcements. JAY CUTLER still can't be trusted and the defensive line couldn't pressure the local high school quarterback which is a recipe for disaster.

oh, the WNBA has a new champion!  sorry, never mind

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, CUBS FANS!

there is so much to write about every year during the month of october but once again, i'm drawn back to the woebegone baseball franchise on the north side of chicago because the hits never quit coming.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY STEVE BARTMAN!!! on this date in history ten years ago, 10-14-03, i spent one of the happiest nights of my life sitting in wrigley field and watching BARTMAN screw up any chance that left fielder MOISES "i piss on my hands for toughness" ALOU had to catch a foul ball during the eighth inning of a game that would have send the hapless cubs to the world series.......if they had won.  we all know what happened. as it always does on the north side.

10-14-03.  the anniversary still makes me smile.

FYI......BARTMAN is the only person who's name is capitalized EVERY TIME it appears in this column, not just the first time.  he is truly a hero to me and has a standing invitation to attend any party at my house.

that loud SWOOSH noise you heard recently was the cubs striking out when JOE GIRARDI told the cubs to pound sand regarding the manager's job. god like figure (glf) THEO EPSTEIN took a major hit in the administrative office because girardi is the guy that owner TOM RICKETTS really wanted and epstein couldn't deliver.  DALE SVEUM, count your blessings and enjoy kansas city, a team with a future.

so now who to run this shipwreck? most of the names mentioned aren't even on the B list of baseball names with the exception of BRAD AUSMUS, who is currently the manager for Israel's World Baseball Classic team and a special assistant for the SAN DIEGO PADRES. he knows the game, having played 18 years and is ivy league educated, just like the glf. the obvious drawback is that he is a former recipient of the DARRYL KILE AWARD FOR 'INTEGRITY & COURAGE', two traits that normally don't fit in very well on the north side of chicago.

speaking of ricketts, he's having a tantrum and refusing to start construction on various projects approved by the city last july UNLESS the roof top owners drop their lawsuits against the cubs.  now tom, before you choke on your silver spoon, the city doesn't care what the rooftop owners do and ok'd the various projects around and outside the stadium because you said it would 'improve the wrigley experience." what does their litigation have to do with your outside construction which includes a new scoreboard?  YOU'VE BEEN APPROVED so quit pouting and start turning some dirt so you can improve that junkyard of a stadium.

what a beautiful organization.

JUST THE CUBS

and so the beat goes on with the chicago cubs.  hire a guy to manage a bucketful of crap and then SURPRISE! when the team embarrasses the city and MLB once again, dump the manager and blame him for 'a lack of development' with the young players.  add DALE SVEUM to the sacrificial lambs list which includes MIKE QUADE, BRUCE KIMM, TOM TREBLEHORN,  JIM RIGGLEMAN, DON BAYLOR, JIM ESSIAN, JIM LEFEVBRE and on and on and on and on.  they were all given teams with just two or three major leaguers on the roster and told to win.

only four cub managers in my lifetime had any player talent to work with and they were LEO DUROCHER, DON ZIMMER, DUSTY BAKER and LOU PINIELLA and we all know how they fared under the heat of the playoff spotlight. melted like a cheap candle.

but is it time now for JOE GIRARDI? the cubs will pay dearly to get him from the yankees and if ROBINSON CANO follows as a free agent, the cubs will have instant credibility in the eyes of the fans but remember one thing, turtleneck wearers:  you need a TEAM to compete.  girardi would be very smart to take the television job and decompress for a while.  the yankee team is in a downward spiral and the cubs speak for themselves.  

speaking of the cubs, attendance was down for the FIFTH year in a row and what was once one of the hardest tickets in baseball has now become a situation where you walk up to the window at game time to buy your ticket.  cubs now sell only 80% of the available tickets and i would love to se the 'no show' numbers.  CUBBIE BLUE, which is a pro-cubs publication, guesstimates an AVERAGE of 10,000 no shows per game.  any idea how much that affects the bottom line? if each person spends fifteen bucks inside the park, thats about 12 million dollars in lost concessions.  not much when considering player salaries but it would probably pay all of the general office staff.

i warned every cub fan about TOM RICKETTS the day he bought the team.  he knows how to make money with hotels, real estate, building management, stocks, commodities, development and urban planning. do you see the word baseball anywhere in that last sentence?